Childish mb but I hide food now
And I'm annoyed because this is my second time typing this over bc our house sucks and can't keep an internet connection so the page got lost.
Anyway, growing up as the eldest of 8 kids I learned if I didn't hide food I bought, it would be gone the next day. Mom bought good food, but kids always want something else and different.
Well since dh and I split groceries in half, he eats 3/4 of the food bc he is a bodybuilder and has a huge appetite- which is annoying in itself. So when we're shopping I tell him to pick some cereal for the skids and I'll pick mine. He comes back with things like Kix and Honey nut cherrios and I come back with Fruity Cherrios. I look at him and roll my eyes saying to get the kids something better bc my bet is that they will get into my cereal and he claims they won't. When dh and I sleep in and the kids are hungry, guess which box they get into? Yep... mine. Then dh looks at me like there's something wrong with me when I complain about it. I get colby jack reduced fat cheese sticks, they get mozarella sticks... which ones do they want? Mine. Anytime I eat something, they come and look at me, ask "what's that?... I want some..." I don't apologize for it, I say no, ya'll have your foods that you eat. And I don't think it's mean... they have fruit gummies and cookies, I don't eat that stuff. And dh is just as bad... I will literally buy 2 huge bags of tortilla chips and he will sit and eat them in one sitting. There's things I will buy like cream cheese for a dinner I'm making us, when I go to make the dinner, I find out dh has eaten it... wth?! So now when I catch him about to eat my food I end up saying "touch it and die..." He found my hidden stash and is bewildered by the fact that I now hide food. I'm pregnant and extremely picky. I can't eat just anything bc it makes me sick. So when I think I have something and it's eaten, it makes me very upset because I can't eat anything else.
Maybe it's petty. My mom doesn't get it either... she thinks no one should be turned away if they want food. My thought is, they have food... they don't NEED my food. I cook, they aren't starving and are very well fed.
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I would say let him buy for
I would say let him buy for him and his and you buy for you. Family meal ingredients to be split 50/50 and everyone informed that family meal ingredients are meant for the meat loaf tomorrow and the potato salad for the cookout on Sunday. If your husband or your step children don't abide then guess what? You are not cooking unless husband replaces the ingredients. You really should not have to hide food.
Also, why are the kids just able to go get their own food. My son asks me if he can have whatever it is he sees that he wants at the time. The only thing that he can have without asking is the bottled water.
Well DH pays for the rent,
Well DH pays for the rent, propane (which has only been filled once since I moved in), cable and house phone- which are all things he paid for before I came here... yet he acts like he's doing me some big favor when he tries to get me to contribute to those bills and I always refuse. I pay for the car, insurance, and our cell phone- which raised my bill $20 short from $200 a month. In any case, he pays when we all go out to dinner and for gas (when he uses the car the majority of the time until he purchases a new one).
And yes, there's 2 skids sd3 and 6... the girls get up at like 7am and we are not up that early. Dh lets them get cereal because "they are hungry and don't want to wake us up." Which imo is ridiculous bc they make big messes... that's why we bought granola bars, waffles and yogurts; for them to eat those in the morning. I guess it's just us telling them in the morning to get those things (again, since kids forget). They usually ask for foods and I'm not a huge stickler on cereals, just when they eat mine
.
i don't think 3 and 6 year
i don't think 3 and 6 year olds should be responsible for getting their meals. That's what happens when you are a parent. You get up and make them breakfast. Waffles? the 6 year old and the 3 year old are supposed to toast waffles while you sleep?
What are you going to do when it's 7 am and your new baby is hungry?
Well that's why you aren't in
Well that's why you aren't in charge of their meals. My husband is... if that's his choice of parenting, that's fine. The 6 year old knows how to use a toaster yes, it's fairly simple. If dh wants to get up, then he can. Since he allows them to go to bed late and they still wake up early, I have disengaged and let him take on that role.
A baby is different from children btw... we both know there's a huge difference.
There is little difference
There is little difference between a 3 year old and a baby. Both rely on someone else to feed them. Giving that responsibility to a 6 year old is crazy. Further, have you ever seen a toaster on fire? I have.
Again, don't people discuss parenting plans PRIOR to getting married?
So what is your grand plan? One set of rules for the steps and one set of rules for whatever you decide is right for your baby? Don't you think that you and your husband need to come to an agreement with regard to rules for ALL the children now that you are about to bring another one on board? The other option is that you raise your kid the way you think is right and he raises his kids the way he thinks is right and all the kids are going WTF mate when you are all eating at different times at different tables.
Mothers milk... honestly your
Mothers milk... honestly your opinion is just that, an opinion as your other post to another sm was ridiculous I find it hard to even listen to you.
What rules my dh refuses to compromise with me is not my fault... and since we have custody every other weekend with his girls, you better believe there are going to be differences in parenting with my child. Btw we don't have a toaster oven... it's a simple toaster. One that works adequately. Since you do not know my past with my dh and you have only been on this site for what? 4 days... you think you can go around bashing other sm's parenting skills as if yours are the only way to go. And guess what... I don't like the way you parent...so call cps on me because my dh lets his daughter use the toaster. They have bigger fish to fry. I had no choice to disengage in this family... will I do that with my child? Absolutely not... those aren't my children and he has made it clear that his wishes will over rule mine. So I laid off with taking care of his children completely because I had no choice. If he lets them up at running at 10pm, he stays up with them, bathes them... whatever else.
You are living in a dream world if you think all step families run like yours. That's why so many stepparents are disgruntled and a member of this site... because we are unheard and forced to deal with situations we have no choice over. While you may love and accept your skids, you still don't make the decisions regarding their well being, what school they will attend, their health. And you never will. So quit trying to act holier than thou and like everyone else is a bad parent.
Mrs.Fit? Please do not call
Mrs.Fit? Please do not call my step children skids. It's a really offensive term to give to any child. Does your husband know that is how you refer to his children?
And please, you think its perfectly acceptable to allow a 6 year old to use a toaster and make the 3 year old waffles. If you don't want to deal with it grow some balls and kick your husband out of bed and make him tend his children because that is what parents do. Novel concept I know.
I also find it hysterical that a woman posting healthy recipes is getting pissed because children left to their own devices tapped in her fruit loops. Too funny.
Is Skid mark acceptable? LOL
Is Skid mark acceptable?
LOL
Whatever, it's all full of
Whatever, it's all full of sugar. Wow! People like me can cause you to be medicated? Explains a lot.
I am pretty sure you are one of those parents who feel like letting young kids fend for their own food is ok too. But then again you are probably too medicated to care.
Huge difference in cereal...
Huge difference in cereal... mothers milk called for backup me guesses. Either way, if fruity CHERRIOS are my indulgence, omg heaven forbid that cancels my legitimacy as a nutrition and fitness advisor. LOL but I don't have pictures of my own body to prove that I don't know what I'm talking about *eyeroll*... Plus as a preggo with morning sickness all the time, I eat what I can at this point since I want to puke so often.
Skids... that's the acronym. I will use it as I please... just as I will use sd. Offensive? You just feel like complaining. If I told dh that was the acronym for stepkids, he would care less... he has bigger worries.
Notice: I KNOW my marriage hasn't been perfect and I have been on the verge of leaving. No one needs to throw that in my face. Many SP have been faced with that decision. It's obvious the positions SPs have been put in with skids and the issues that arise from it. Alas, you still believe YOUR marriage and way is the only way and that's not how life as most SPs work. Again, get off your high horse and quit bashing other SM on here who are trying...
Read the whole post.
Read the whole post. Apparently bc I eat fruity cherrios it invalidates me as a fitness and nutrition advisor. I was merely commenting that I have pics of proof that's all.
Credentials dear... if
Credentials dear... if someone calls you out on you and your profession I'm sure you will pull yours out. As I have pics of clients.
Honestly... there's a way to
Honestly... there's a way to approach everything. In this case it could be like, "well... a toaster can be dangerous since it can catch fire so may want to be careful." That's receptive... but she goes out of her way to try to make ppl feel like a failure bc apparently she has the perfect marriage. Whatever.
Probably right. She gets off
Probably right. She gets off on trying to bully ppl on the internet.
Well it's abundantly clear
Well it's abundantly clear that your method is working fabulously MFM. You have no control in your house, are spitting out babies and quite frankly your husband seems totally uninterested in any of it. It's not surprising that you and sour think alike.
Oh no, not at all which is
Oh no, not at all which is why we aren't moving to be near my family out of the state he has custody. I suggest you keep your mouth closed until you know the full on story. Once again, I'm not taking care of his children... it's called disengaging and can be a healthy process. What he does with his children are his business. I have no control over their well being.
I suggest you mind your business in matters that you understand rather than sounding ignorant in the complex dynamics of the stepfamily.
Spitting out babies... who the **** do you think you are?? I am in a marriage where it is actually appropriate to conceive... not some skank out getting pregnant out of wedlock which seems to be the norm these days.
Don't worry your husband is probably out cheating on your right now because you are such a straight arrow and he wants some adventure in his life. Probably tired of a wife who always bullies her way around.
Oh, how I love to read
Oh, how I love to read judgemental posts from people with reading comprehension issues and who obviously views marriage vows as merely a "suggestion."
I wonder how it works in YOUR house? Let me see: I think when you were sleeping with the married man you were all understanding and promising this wonderful life if he left his wife, and now you are trolling message boards for stepparents because your life is so unfulfilling, your Skids hate you, the ex would like to run over you with her car, and your husband is coming home a little later every night, and you are starting to have suspicions.
See how easy it is to tell someone else how their life is from a blog? If you are right about other people, then surely I am right about YOU.
And by the way, speaking of VULGAR-you take offense at the abbreviation Skids, but then tell someone they are "spitting out babies"? Shame on you. Tsk Tsk.
I don't know but I'm done
I don't know but I'm done with this blog. I openly put that IMO I was being childish about food and knew I was being silly. Then get judged because my husband lets his daughter use a toaster...
I never claimed to be a parent... and just because I married someone with kids doesn't mean it automatically makes me one. Each family on here has to discover what works for each to make a cohesive family unit... there's no one solution. We may disagree with the choices one another makes but RESPECTFULLY give advice.
Apparently now I am appalling because someone else just read ONE excerpt where I said I can prove my career with pics... talk about judging a book by reading only one paragraph. I defend myself and get that comment.
I don't know where it became acceptable to try to bully other people by being insultful. I began to get very offensive myself. I do apologize to MM for my last comment because I do not know what it going on in her life to make her so incredibly mean. After her last comment of "spitting out babies" I became very defensive because out of 6 years, I dealt with infertility. So when someone tries to make something negative out of it, I'm going to get upset. I don't deny either that my marriage has been less than ideal, but we are working on it and improving it day by day. To say anyone has the perfect marriage and has no problems would be a flat out lie.
Mrsfitmama- Please don't give
Mrsfitmama-
Please don't give up on your blog just because some judgemental idiot is trying to make us stepparents feel dumb-just remember this "Opinions are like a**holes; everyone has one, some people are one".
As far as having to hide your food, yea, I know how you feel about it. My SD, 24, comes over and helps herself to MY stash of pomagrante juice, granola, etc. I now hide it in a mini fridge in my barn! (I know, not the same as a younger child....) But, if it was me, I'd try to tell the children "look, I've bought these great snacks/food just for you-these snacks/food here are my special treats". I hope your pregnancy goes well; I remember mine was like yours. I got sick if I ate anything but oatmeal!
Keep your chin up!
I had a long reply to this
I had a long reply to this just for it to get wiped out
Someone on here had mentioned how my husband works out for me. As fitness ppl that couldn't be anymore untrue. He and I had been involved in the fitness industry before we ever met. Ppl do it because it feels good both mentally and physically. It's a healthy, active activity we happen to both enjoy and it's something we have in common. We help one another attain goals and challenge. It works because we work as a team and will build diets to accomplish goals. What a lot of ppl who don't follow a workout/nutrition plan is they think ppl who workout/jog/etc never eat sweets and unhealthy foods. If you workout hard, why not reward yourself? We give ourselves one day in 7 to "cheat" and eat fun foods. What's the point of life if you can't enjoy it... and foods is part of that. That's why our clients love us, we build them a nutrition plan geared towards their needs and they still get to enjoy treats, mb not all the time but they aren't excluded. So yes, I'll grab myself a big bowl of fruity cherrios and enjoy the hell out of them! Especially if I'm carb loading for a run! 12g of sugar can be worked off really easy!
So my SD sounds a lot like your SS in that they are mature beyong their years. She amazes me at what she can comprehend. Unfortunately due to DH and BMs separation, she also had to do a lot more for herself and her sister, despite the fact that she was so little. But she loves feeling "big." She loves to help me clean, we will bake, I've shown her how to SAFELY use the oven with my supervision. She's not stupid and knows when something is hot. I think she will be like your SS and start making us all lunch one day!
My name is hismineandours and
My name is hismineandours and I have let my children use the toaster when they were 6. I am so ashamed.
LOL !! My name is Holly and
LOL !!
My name is Holly and I raised my kids on cold poptarts cuz I wouldn't let them use the toaster. But they've graduated now and I am carefully working toward introducing them to kitchen appliances.
I baked by myself by the time
I baked by myself by the time I was 10... my mom let me explore my talents in the kitchen. I'm very blessed she let me do that too. When I was 6 I was helping her bake pies... and despite all my accidental burns, broken glasses, and messes in the kitchen, I'm thankful for all those experiences because I still love to cook! I can't imagine what would happen if my creativity was stiffled. As SD gets older and if she wants to use the oven when she's 10, I don't see why not, so long as I'm in the house.
Don't want to burn the house down.
MFM, I, too, was *very* sick
MFM,
I, too, was *very* sick (think high risk pregnancy sick) the first half of my pregnancy. I was still very sick the second half, but not as severely. SO. . .
I can totally relate. If I found a food that I could eat, heaven help anyone in the house who dared touch it. If necessary, you may want to hide some things that you know you'll be needing and his kids will be wanting.
LOL
LOL