I have to say if your DH is not on board, then disengage and leave it be. Especially if he's using the words shut up towards you. He obviously doesn't want to deal with her hygiene or sleeping habits.

DH's kid is 15 and she still has to be reminded to brush her teeth. She asked for a new toothbrush the other day and all I did was laugh. I said what I always say, which is ask your father. So she did and he started laughing too and said why? You haven't touched the one you have in months!

She just recently started showering on a regular basis. Regular being more than twice a week. }:)

I don't know what it is with this particular generation but personal hygiene is an enigma.

About the sleeping. DH's kid keeps vampire hours too. I stopped caring years ago. As long as she's ready to go on time when we have to take her somewhere, I don't care how she spends her summer. If she wants to waste the beautiful days sleeping them away. Her loss.

I know how frustrating this is but I would ignore it and let her behave like an unwashed vampire. This is just going to be one of those things you won't be able to change.

Whoops....my apologies....I thought he told you to shut up but I just re-read your post and you said he does it to shut you up.

My opinion stands. I tried the same route as well and it will just get more frustrating for you. Step back and let her sleep all day and smell all night. Trust me when I say it will save you a lot of time and wasted words on your DH.

I feel you. I have a beautiful wife of four years and her son came back to live with us unexpectedly in 2009, his dad basically said he couldn't afford him anymore. How do you tell your wife no? Anywhoo, since the boy has been back (he was 16 then, 17 now), he has single handedly turned our loving house into a full blown teenager palace. We had a 5 BR house of which he commandeered 3 rooms. His clothes were all over the floor, sleeps all over everything, even laid his big butt in our bed on my side of the bed with the wife SAYING NOTHING!!! Does not help me around the house, certainly didn't cut grass (as most young men his age SHOULD do), completely disregards me with NOTHING from my wife to reinforce my directives or instructions too him. It's almost as if HE owns her and she's alright with that. I've said things too her about it, and I get the "Why do you always blame him?" bit. We had a big blowout about him taking things out of our room and his general lack of respect (often reminding me that I'm not his father). Finally asked him and got him too admit that he was trying to break my wife and I up (so she could go back to his dad). I told the wife about this (of course I was very hurt and upset), and she said nothing about it. She never even spoke too him about it, as far as I know. He's finally graduated HS, and went back to visit his friends in his hometown. Wife moved out here with me and we are NOT THE SAME. In fact, the week and a half she's been here, we've not even been intimate. However, she informed me that the son is on his way back sometime in the next several days. All I could say is we will be back in the same situation again.

I know I was jumping around in my paragraph, and on that I apologize, but at this point, I'm done. I try to be a really good guy, but this is sucking the life out of us and it bothers me that she treats him like a 7 year old and not a 17 year old. Any words would be appreciative, because I am at departure point....

My SS's teeth eventually rotted. :sick: He didn't brush and his mom refused to take him to the dentist. One time I picked him at to take him somewhere and his breath was so nasty, I thought I would be sick in my car. I think a previous poster said it well when the suggestion was made to disengage. One of my favorite things to focus on when my skid is awful, is not my kid, not my problem.