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SS and Facebook

maria14's picture

Submitted by maria14 on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 8:47am

SS has still been ignoring all of my DH's attempts to contact him. Emails, calls, texts, no response. So my DH (I have no idea why!!), thinks it is a good idea to post on SS's wall to get him to talk. Yes DH, that's exactly what we need, broadcasting your conversation to all of SS's 305 friends. Some of DH's family is also in that list. He posts a message saying he is so happy about about the scholarship (which I will not believe SS has got until I see proof), and how he misses SS and wishes he would can talk with SS soon. What a stupid idea. Of course, SS comes back raging. Saying such mean things to DH that I felt really bad for him. Calling him a dead beat dad, a loser.

And who starts posting on the conversation? My MIL and BIL. They start telling SS to forgive his dad blah blah. It was embarassing to see. All of them acting like 5 year olds on such a public site. Then SS starts getting messages from friends saying they are sorry he has to go through this. This is why you do not have these conversations on Facebook. SS ended up deleting all the postings. And then to be even more cruel (as though the written lashing was not enough), he removes my DH's name under his family and he blocks my DH AND my BS. How do I know this? My MIL wanted us to know and told us. This woman must be going crazy. She did a complete 180 in just a few days. I used to really like her. My BS was hurt because he likes SS (I have no idea why). So bravo SS and DH, for being such sensible people. And you know what? DH's family can go f*** themselves. I gave up on them. I only know my BS will be very hurt by all this, which breaks my heart.

And yea, the car crap is still hanging in the air. We have a very nice car that just sits in our garage. What a load of bull.

Comments

VioletsareBlue's picture

Submitted by VioletsareBlue on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 8:52am

Sell the car.
Sorry your DH is going through this, but I wouldn't give the kid the car. He needs to grow up.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 8:57am

Yep sell the car and stop contact. NO need to "child chase" as these brats LOVE the attention!!

SusiQ's picture

Submitted by SusiQ on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:03am

I agree - your DH's family can take a leap off the nearest cliff.

But I hope your SS will come around at some point with some maturity. What your DH was IMHO just reactionary. He did nothing to follow up and confirm regarding the ticket issue - yes your SS should have said something but your DH didn't do anything either. It was an important time for your SS and his dad wasn't there. He's got a right to be upset -

Regarding the car - is it paid for - if so sign over the title and be done with it. If it's not then sell it.

aggravated1's picture

Submitted by aggravated1 on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:10am

SusiQ-

What is your rationale for giving a car to a kid that spoke to his father that way? I would be interested in knowing why you would basically reward that bad behavior.

maria14's picture

Submitted by maria14 on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:13am

Honestly, I feel SS should not even get a Hot Wheels at this point. But my DH wont rest untill SS gets that damn car. SS sure knows how to hit my DH where it hurts. What a manipulator. I get he missed the graduation, but for f******* sake, crap happens.

SusiQ's picture

Submitted by SusiQ on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:29am

My rationale? - Do you know why he spoke to his father that way? I feel like the dad is the one who screwed in this situation and the kid is hurt and lashing out. Of course it's being egged on by family but the dad is the one that caused this whole issue to begin with.

Edited to add - I'm going off what caused this kid to lash out at his dad - I'm sorry but HS graduation is important to some people and the DH here screwed up completely rather than take some responsibility to call the school and find out about the ticket situation. I get that the skid is being a jerk and hitting where it hurts and yes the DH has tried to apoligize but to go into to facebook - we all know what that always leads to.

I said if the car is paid for meaning the DH had planned for this for awhile - obviously things were ok with him and the skid - then just sign over the title and be done. If it was a spur of the moment thing and you've got a loan for it - sell it.

Hopefully with some maturity the skid will come around

aggravated1's picture

Submitted by aggravated1 on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 10:00am

There is no way I would do it. Disappointments and misunderstandings are a fact of life, and this will be a good life lesson for the SS that there are repercussions for when you act like an asshole. He has graduated high school. At what point do you think maturity will kick in? Some people have 40 year old kids living with them while they wait for that great moment to arrive.

Sweetnothings's picture

Submitted by Sweetnothings on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:18am

OMG conversations on Fakebook !!! Eeeeek !!! I like to do them the old fashioned way...face to face, hehe !!!
FB really gets on my nerves, no wayyy, would I have convos on there for everyone to see !!! Your DH must have been desperate !!!
I used to have supportive inlaws too, but they showed their true colours 2 years ago with the SD21 and now I know not to trust them, and I'm not in contact with them.My DH is always trying to email her, ring her....he suffers from bad bouts of Daddy Guilt....she hardly ever comes back to us...apart from more lies or if she needs money!! Sell that car. DH was paying for skid to learn and was going to buy and insure a car for her, needless to say, major drama with her again and he took away that away !! These entitled skids live in their own make believe World !!

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:27am

I agree with those who say SELL THE CAR. Your DH needs to accept the fact that he screwed up, & an apology doesn't erase everything. He needs to give his son some time & space to do his thing.

The more he tries to force his son to talk, the more his son is going to push him off. There is a time & place for everything, & FB is rarely it. Him airing the dirty laundry on his son's FB wall is yet another crappy decision. Of course people are going to jump on it. With what's happened up until this point, why would he expect they wouldn't???

Not only is he providing family with EVERY opportunity to throw remarks at him, but he's pushing his son farther & farther away. How embarrassing for his son to have his family dirt laid out on FB for all his friends to read...& his dad is the one who brought it there.

There are consequences for every action. Your DH made an ass of himself & his son on his son's page. The consequence is getting blocked so he won't have the opportunity to do it again.

Sell the freaking car. The kid obviously doesn't want it. Get rid of it & it won't be an issue.

maria14's picture

Submitted by maria14 on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:43am

Yes, my DH really f****** up. But SS had no reason too respond the way he did. Both of them acted like apes. The car is paid in full. My DH will not rest until SS gets the car. Despite my objections, he wants to give SS the car, AND pay insurance, AND give monthly gas allowance until SS finishes college. When I told him not to, he asked why should SS be treated differently from our son. I swore to keep my mouth shut about the car after that. I agree, some time and space is needed. DH waited a week. He should have waited more. But SS is acting like real jerk. I have to deal with my DH who just mopes around the house because he feels guilty.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:55am

Your DH needs to wait until SS is ready to talk. He'll let him know when he's ready. SS is acting like a jerk, but it's in response to your DH acting like one.

The car will continue to be an issue because your DH continues to make it an issue. You can't buy love. It sounds like that's what your DH is trying to do.

SS had every reason to block your DH from FB, & I would bet that your son was blocked to keep your DH off SS's page. I don't blame him for blocking your son either. I changed some settings on my FB for what SD & SS had access to view because I didn't want BM to be able to see them & I'm not too stupid to figure out that she'll try to access my info through their pages. Sounds like your SS is not too stupid to figure that out either.

If your DH chooses not to rest until SS accepts the bribery, your DH is choosing to keep the rift in your lives.

frustratedstepdad's picture

Submitted by frustratedstepdad on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 9:56am

Yep, sell the car. The only thing your skid deserves is a foot up his ass. But he is young, and it's normal for young people to lash out like that. DH needs to stop kissing his ass and realized that no amount of begging or pleading is going to make a person forgive you. He will have to do that on his own. I guarantee you that if DH just stopped all communication his son would end calling him. And what exactly has he done to deserve a car??? I'm so sick of these kids getting expensive gifts and crap for stuff they are SUPPOSED to do. You are SUPPOSED to graduate from high school. Kids these days are so damn entitled its sickening.

novemberm's picture

Submitted by novemberm on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 10:32am

Facebook is a big problem with my boyfriend's bratty adult babies. They will delete him when he wont give them what they want, and friend him again when they want something else. They message him about stupid things, to whine, or ask for money. They post things to make him upset, and I have asked him to either delete his whole account or block them. He won't. Then my bf's mom goes on there, sees their crap, calls my bf, and gives him bad advice.

My bf's adult son (19) is now dating a minor. He has posted about giving her massages, and watching her sleep. Her parents must be insane since they let him move in there for the summer. He wont work and eats like a pig and he is a an adult...what are they thinking. When they get tired of him, and they will, I can so see his Facebook posts getting him in possible legal trouble.

I know that your DH must have been so hurt by what his son posted, but he needs to stay away from Facebook. It is not worth it! His family makes it worse, too. I have been there, so I know how you feel. Sending hugs.