Stepdaughter is a dummy
So last night, I found out that about a month ago she was in somebody's car smoking weed when the car was pulled over for a busted headlight. The guy driving the car begged her to tell the cop it was her weed because he was afraid of losing some scholarship at school. So my dumb ass SD told the cop it was all hers. Now she is finding out that there is a $1000 fine and even if you just pay the fine, they still take away your license. The guy who she took the rap for was supposed to give her the money for the fine, but he up and moved to another state. So today and tomorrow she is having somebody drive her to that other state to pick up the money. So once again, our lives revolve around her wants and needs since we will be stuck watching her 2 year old son while she is gone. This past year she has been living with us, our marriage has gone downhill because of my wife putting SD's wants and needs above our own.
During this past year:
Caught her and another SD smoking weed in our backyard, with their kids in the house.
Had the cops come to our house while we were at work because two SD's got in a fight
We end up watching the grandkid in some capacity about 3 out of 4 weekends because she wants to go somewhere or hang out with friends.
Been involved in two car accidents with our car, the last one totalled the car.
It's like my wife just refuses to see her daughter for what she really is. Even my wife's counselor (therapist) told her that she needs to stop putting our marriage second to her daughter. She's is a lying, manipulative, spoiled adult with the mentality of an entitled teenager. Sometimes I wish I could just go hide out somewhere for a month or two all by myself. This weekend we are supposed to focus only on each other since it's fourth of July weekend and also our anniversary. But why do I have this sneaky suspicion that it will somehow be ruined by my SD.
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Comments
Wow... sounds like your SD's
Wow... sounds like your SD's need some serious tough love. They are extremely immature.
I am sorry you are going through all of this. Until your wife realizes that she is enabling them, I don't know what to tell you. I guess it is a matter of how long are you willing to put up with this?
I have wondered this same
I have wondered this same question myself, how long am I willing to put up with this. My wife just doesn't get it. Even the three other SD's as frustrating as they are have not been given this many chances to screw up, and they resent their youngest sister for the preferential treatment she gets. Even as I type this, I am texting my wife telling her that I don't want SD driving our cars anymore and she is actually asking why??? I think it's going to take something serious happening before my wife finally opens up her eyes, and by then it will be too late.
that happens because the
that happens because the biological parents (especially dad's concerning their daughters) don't want to see what a POS their kid is! It took my SD14 accusing DH of molesting her, just so she could go live with her BM to see how horrible she really is. But boy once the eyes are open, there's no closing them. Hopefully in the big scheme things karma turns out to be one mean bitch... }:)
It's honestly like
It's honestly like bio-parents just walk around with these rose colored glasses on like there's no problem. Part of the issue is that she allowed them to do things and get away with stuff that I could never imagine me doing growing up in a million years. Things like having guys sleep over when they were teenagers. Letting them drive the piss out of her car until it's a piece of crap. Stuff that I just don't put up with. I don't even let them LOOK at my car unless it's for a doctor's appointment or something important.
We have a tried a written
We have a tried a written contract before, and that did no good because my DW never enforces anything. What's sad is that we moved into a brand new house in a new neighborhood in December and the police already know where we live. She definitely needs some tough love and I wish I could give it to her. There is no real way to keep my wife from allowing her to drive her car, but she sure as hell ain't gonna drive mine.
What's actually good about this is there are some real consequences she has to face for once in her life. The fine is $1000. If she just pays the fine, she still will lose her drivers license for a year. She is going to try and get a medical marijuana card and then come to court saying she had the card all along to try and get out of it. No way in hell she gets out of it because she was still smoking in the car, and she admitted it was hers to the officer. For once in her life she will finally have to face the music.
How old is this SD? I am so
How old is this SD? I am so sorry for everything you are going through! I agree with knowitall though, hide the keys, search the house for drugs if you find drugs call the police. Also what are the chances that this guy that moved to a different state is actually going to just fork over $1000? I swear some of these step kids oughta be put in a boat and shipped off to an island and forced to fend for themselves with no one to lean on but each other. It would certainly serve them right!
She is 21 years old and she
She is 21 years old and she also has a 2 yr old son. I put my car keys by my bed every night just so she can't drive it after we go to sleep. I know she drives my wife's car, but I don't have any control over that. My wife has pretty much babied the SD her whole life and is spoiled. It's amazing she knows how to wipe her own ass without my wife's help. We help out with her son to the point where I feel like we are more parents than we are grandparents. I've already told my wife that I am no longer going to enable the SD to be a part-time parent so I refuse to help watch him anymore unless the skid has a dr's appointment to go to. I really don't give a damn if she wants to go see her friends. I've said for months now that a young single mom with a 2 yr old should NOT have a better social life than two middle aged adults with no young kids.
I agree ncnat. I wish we could just take all of these adult skids and put them on "Survivor". Most wouldn't make it a day. I get so annoyed at my adult SD's who call my wife for EVERYTHING because they are too stupid to figure out anything for themselves.