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Dh going ballistic, how to deal with this graduation issue?

maria14's picture

We finally got the tickets for the graduation. My DH was planning a big graduation party for his side of the family. He wants to give that bloody car during the party. But when we got the tickets in the mail, it only says "Admit one". My DH is PISSED! He told me that if I was not invited he would also not be going. My DH also wants to cancel the party and just give the car to SS later. He is fuming. I am asking my DH to call up SS and ask about the tickets. But my DH is saying he will refuse to beg and will not go. I know my DH really wants to go. SS seems to be going to college (We are not even sure), and my DH wants nothing more than to see his son graduate. I appreciate him standing up for me but I can see this blowing up in my face. I can see it ending up being the "evil stepmother's fault". What would you suggest my DH do?

Comments

maria14's picture

My DH is refusing to call the school. I am telling him to call SS but he does not want to that either. He is just fed up with everything SS is doing. And yes, he is planning to cancel the party. But the car is bought. He wants to just hand over the car and be done with it.

newmom01's picture

stupid guilt! He should not even get a car! I bet he does not come around for a while after he gets it unless he needs something else

maria14's picture

Yes! Stupid guilt. The car ended up costing 9700! We cannot exchange the car with ours because ours is nicer. And my DH already told SS what car it was. My DH is just furious and is refusing to call anyone. He says if I am not invited he will not go and thats it. He says SS is old enough to know better. I do not know about returning the car. My DH promised SS the car. My DH just wants to hand the car over and just wash his hands off it. I guess he could exchange the car with our BS's older car. But it will just make SS angry and cause drama in our lives.

maria14's picture

My DH called the school just now. They said each kid can bring 4 people. Now my DH is just even more pissed. He is talking about selling the car he just bought. We cannot return it. He says he is not going. He is giving the ticket to his mother instead. So much drama.

maria14's picture

Now selling that damn thing. Another headache. I wish my DH bought the car after. I do not know why he had to rush and buy one. You know, I am not going to say anything. I do not want any part of this. HE can do what he wants. I am sure any input from me will just allow them to blme me if something goes wrong. My MIL is going tonite to the graduation. And she is angry at my DH for not going. Why does she need to get involved??!!

maria14's picture

Tell me about it. My MIL does not know boundaries. I can just picture her coming back after the graduation and bitching at my DH for not going.

newmom01's picture

Well forget about te car stuff...Your DH stood up for you! that's something, alot of us on here complain that the DH always asks us wives to understand and be the bigger person while he (DH) answers to every beck and call of the BM (for the kids sake)!!! :sick: But yours said enough is enough ....yea for him ....I would make him his favorite dinner, give him a backrub to blow his mind ..and whatever else he wants to take his mind off of that little bugger Wink

Elizabeth's picture

Honestly, I would have given anything to have my DH stand up for me the way your did! SD18 deliberately excluded me from her graduation. And it wasn't even a matter of tickets, it was open seating. She sent an announcement addressed ONLY to DH. I told him to call and clarify if she was excluding me and our two BDs (her half-sisters). SD18 informed him it was intentional and I was NOT invited. But he could bring her two half-sisters if he wanted! DH went alone, and he didn't even reprimand SD18 in any way. I told him he should be ashamed of SD18 excluding me in this way. We have been married since SD was 8 and up until she was 15 had 50/50 custody or more. DH said he was NOT ashamed.

maria14's picture

I wish he would go. I do not feel comfortable being the reason he is not going. It is a important day. I really think my DH should be there. Maybe I am just too nice.

maria14's picture

You are right. I just feel uneasy. If it was my son, no way in hell would I miss it. I guess my DH is just fed up. It is sad.

Disneyfan's picture

You're not too nice. I think you're thinking past the moment(I would be as well) and your husband isn't. You know that one day down the road he will regret missing his son's graduation. He's not thinking of that, he is just seeing red right now because SS excluded you.

I would spend the next few hours trying to talk him into going. If that meant getting MIL to help do that, I would.

I think it's great that your husband wants to stand up for you, but I don't think that stand should be made for high school or college graduations or weddings.

My advice would be for husband to chew son out, attend the graduation, but cancel the party and get rid of the car. Or maybe hold on to the car until next sophomore year.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Trade the car with your Bio's car. Who gives a damn if the Skid gets pissed? He made his bed. I know where you're coming from about feeling bad if your DH doesn't attend his sons graduation. What I'm curious to know is who is attending with the extra ticket? I agree with Disneyfan. Make your DH go to the graduation and cancel the party & get rid of the car.

briarmommy's picture

Make your husband go to the graduation, he will regret it and it will end up bad for you. But I agree with unfreakingreal, cancel the party and the car.....either sell it or trade with your bio.....that should satisfy your husbands anger to, that trade.

maria14's picture

I have been trying to convince my DH to go since morning. I know this will blow up in my DH's face. He is being stubborn. It is frustrating me. There is only so much I can do. The party is cancelled. SS still gets the car though. He should go to the graduation and forget the car. But he will not listen!!

Unfreakingreal's picture

You should put it to him differently. Tell him that his anger is distorting his rationale. And that once the dust settles he is going to be very upset that he missed such an important milestone in his sons life. Tell him you appreciate the gesture and you love him dearly for sticking up for your marriage but that it would mean the world to you if he could just put this on the back burner for now and attend the graduation. Convince him to switch the car with your Bio's car. And tell him it could even be a temporary thing so that SS gets the hint of how angry he is. Good luck, I feel bad for your DH. This sucks...

twopines's picture

>>If you convince him otherwise, this will be the message you send to everyone. They will know they can count you out.<<

This.