Why can't you go on the school's website and find out when the graduation is? I think it would show SS that you all care about him even though he was too ____ to tell you himself/invite you.

And if he's not going to maintain an open communication I'd say he doesn't deserve all the "gifts" you plan to give. Like hell I'd even give my own child free gas/insurance if he wouldn't even talk to me or tell me anything that's going on.

We are definately in that boat. SD doesn't tell her father anything about her life.....until, she wants money.

We just had this come up and he told both SD and BM that if they ask again for money and it's the first he's heard of anything the answer would be no.

No information about dr apts, illnesses, even medications that she is bringing to our home to take. She is only 13 and it's been this way for years. I am not comfortable with a child that age administering medication. They don't have enough knowledge about what things are or how they interact. What if she missed a dose and decided to double up and it made her sick? What if she had an allergic reaction? we have no idea even what she is taking, let alone how much.

She doesn't tell him about her school, sports, nothing. He asks questions and gets shrugs and mumbles. And I'm supposed to bond with this child somehow. He can't even relate to her.

It's frustrating. I blame it on parenting. The BM gives him no regard as a parent and doesn't teach her child how to communicate.

Same here but its all BM fault SS is only 4 so he can't tell us when thing are or anything like that. BM said my DH whatever communication we had is gone, DH said you need to tell me these things about his school I need to know we have a son together. BM told DH about his son's pre-k graduation on the day of two hrs before it started.

We deal with it and have been for at least 12years! Idiot we know through school records has missed at least 75 days of school THIS YEAR alone! Yep! You heard that right...It's been that way for a few years...We have no money to fight the witch, we have reported her to truancy...they seem to have taken idiot BM to court, we THINK...but it stays the same...right now we know through school idiot has "0" in ALL her classes...WHO THE HECK knows where this kid is at...idiot BM seems to be happy as can be...but DH is tired of the 12yr game...and has no money to go to court...so, well, there you go...since she is still 16, we still have to pay for her sorry butt to NOT go to school and sleep around...all we can hope for is that in 1 1/2 yrs she will turn 18 and we can stop the CS...if she doesn't decide by then to actually start attending school...

PS - my DH has NEVER been informed of ANYTHING related to this kid unless BM wants money...and of course, only medical issues not caused by her...ie. she has yet to tell my DH that her loser kid had a baby almost a year ago!

I keep seeing all these references to posts similar to these talking about visiting a school's website. My kid's school has a website. It basically says, "Hey, this is our school." There's a district calander that's impossible to interpret, a staff section that lists the principal, vps, counselor, and nurse (none of whom are ever in the office), and a "brag" page for each grade level showing kids working on projects (usually art).

I would *love* if our schools would post my kid's grades online with some type of log in option for me. But not every school has these. I think, in this situation, I would be more likely to advocate simply giving the school a call or even dropping by and asking for a print out of the kids classes and grades as well as a run-down of any important upcoming events.

Blaming SMs and SKs for dads being in the dark about these things is a cop out. All of these dads are capable of calling or driving to their kid's school and speaking to teachers, GCs and principals. There's really no exuse for them not knowing what is going on.