Ah yes. All of them except for one(the covering of face) BM doesnt need to cover her face, she wears giant black beetle looking glasses to hide almost her entire face. Most likely trying to keep up with whatever celebrity she saw with them or covering the bags under her bloodshot eyes from drinking too much. I'm guessing it's the later one Usually BM is laughing(fake) with the current boyfriend or on the phone.

Ah, yes... The sporting events (if you can call them that) are always more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

In my experience, one BM of SS7 (the ExW) comes to each game (and tries to invite herself to her former SS11's games, too, because she's an asshole). She wears the most awful, ill-fitted jeans and sweatpants. It's as if she goes to the tailor and says, "OK... I want ALL of my pants to be painfully tight so they give me the awesome, brazen, yeasty camel toe EVAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!!! Mwwaaaahahahahah!" She sets up her little raggedy folding chair away from us and makes sure she calls SS7 over to her for Gatorade, even if he's already getting it from me. She's mature like that.

BM of SS11 comes to games like she does everything else: Half-ass, and only when convenient for her. She is STILL the best mom ever though. Ask anybody. Well, maybe not anybody. Asrk her kid. He'll tell you.

OMG - I managed to get dragged along to a few of those.

BM ALWAYS came with a clan. Her sister, sister's hubby & their kids, brother & HIS kids, mother and father, sometimes an aunt or two. Just sickening. Especially when it was far away from "their" town.

Almost all of what you said applied with one other one that would drive me BONKERS. They would clap/cheer to the point of being OBNOXIOUS when it was the SKIDS' TURN! Usually throwing the skid's concentration off and thereby ruining whatever chance they HAD!

They did this to SD at her gymnastics and they did this to SS at his baseball games. I would just think OMG, talk about attention WHORES! Who the hell wants everyone to look at them ALL.THE.TIME.

My SS plays hockey
Early in the season when it tends to be quite warm out, BM needs to be stylish and shows up at the ice rink in shorts, a glittery tank top, and lame flip flops. I guess she forgets that even though it may be 80 outside, it's still a cool 32 degrees inside... and then complains to everyone about how cold it is

She stands there watching during warmups being the supportive mom, but the minute SS gets on the ice she heads outside for a smoke or 10 returning just in the nick of time of the end of the period.

Sometimes she brings her school book(s) and spreads them all out on the bleachers to 'study'. Funny how someone who takes one class every 3 or 4 semesters and doesn't work at all has to use that whopping 2 hours at the ice rink on a Saturday to cram for a test?

Oh, and the classic... SS got hurt during a game. My DH went over near the bench to see if he was okay, but MOTY was too busy hanging in the bar to even know something happened. At almost the end of the period she comes back to the rink (of course) and panics because SS was taken to the locker room. She actually started SCREAMING because she felt the coach should have come looking for her? Oh my.

Oh yes, I remember these days!! BM liked to show up in her tshirts-in which she would roll her sleeves back to make sure everyone saw hre nasty tat on her bicep (dont have anything against tat's but hers looked particulary manly and nasty)and then she would smoke her cigarettes. If ss did something even average she would scream, "that's MY boy!" She also liked to approach me at some point and tell ME that I needed to do something. For example, I needed to pack such and such in his bag from now on. Or my personal favorite was when she came and sat by me on the bleachers (very small bleachers so EVERY parent there heard the conversation)and told me that she needed to be reimbursed 20.00 for ss's meds (that dh had already told her that dr. said he could go off them for the summer but that we would leave that decision to her since she had him most of the summer). And even though per court order she was supposed to pay the first 500.00 of medical expenses-which we had never made her pay. She actually freaking expected me to fork over a 20.00 for meds that she chose to keep ss on and that she was ordered to pay for anyway! WTF? Dh happened to be out of time and so I just said I'll let him know.

Ah, good memories. I also loved it when she wouldnt pick him up on Friday nites because he had soccer games on Saturday. Now, ok they were in the morning and I realize that the drive was a 3 hr roundtrip-so I wasnt even necessairly arguing with that point-BUT she would arrive at the END of the game to pick him up. Why? Would you arrive when he is done playing? Oh, I know she wanted to sleep in. Right. Never mind that i had been up for freaking hours getting HER boy ready for his game.