SD Will Be A Grade Behind Due to BM's Negligence
Sorry to be a blog hog today, but we just realized that SD will likely be a grade behind most kids her age. SD is the same age as my DD. They were both to start kindergarten in the fall.
Since starting kindergaren this past fall, my DD has learned to read. Like, she can read an entire book with minimal mistakes. I know she's more on the advanced end of the kids in her class, but still. All the kids in her class know all their letters to the alphabet, are learning small words, etc.
SD5 doesn't even recognize visually all the words in the alphabet and she'll be 6 in not that long. She does not have any learning disability so the only reason is because BM has her in preschool and not even a Pre-K program(by law in our state you don't have to start Kindergarten until you are 6, but MOST kids start at 5 and it's recommended that they start at 5).
This means that SD5 will not be in a position to start 1st Grade in the fall absent us getting custody of her and working with her the ENTIRE summer, to try to catch her up. Even then, I'm not sure whether she will be able to go to 1st grade. So, she will be a year behind my daughter in school and for no reason other than her mother is a lazy, negligent bitch who is more concerned about putting her kid into singing lessons (I kid you not) then whether or not she can read!
I am outdone and feel very sorry for SD5. SD5 already feels insecure and is very competitive because of it. This is only going to make SD5 feel even worse. This is something that she will carry for her entire school career. I dunno... I think it's wrong. She's obviously met her peak of learning whatever she is supposidly learning at preschool, so why not move her on? What type of parent intentionally holds their child back? Our BM, that's who.
Poor kid. And we got her into a private school based on her coming to live with us (at BM's request, mind you) and, instead, she will suffer through another unnecessary year of preschool. Better believe the judge will hear about it in a few weeks!
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I was going to suggest that
I was going to suggest that this could be a plot to make sure that your DH pays CS for a year longer as most CO's say to pay until 18 and graduated or 19. Then at the end you said that you should be getting custody this upcoming summer.
Hhhhmmmmmm... What is the purpose of preventing your child from making progress? To ensure that they will be dependent on you that much longer? To piss off DH and make him look like the 'bad guy' to any of SD's future teachers for 'letting' her be so far behind?
i know for the bm in my case,
i know for the bm in my case, she somehow gets SSI/SSDI (not sure which it is) for sd. The ONLY thing we know that she has is adhd (which I have heard is really hard to get $$ from the govt, and sd is not extreme adhd...) or that she has a slight speech problem and she is in speech therapy. For a long time dh and i thought that maybe bm was trying to 'dumb down' sd (i.e. not working extra on her with her sight words -dh was doing all that over the summer!) because as soon as her 'disability' is fixed (in some court papers we received in the Discovery process, bm had to provide all her form of income, and the SSI papers were among them) then she won't get any more money and there are annual IEP thing for sd to see her progress. And we got these IEP papers as well, and there was nothing in there to suggest sd had a learning disability, so who knows how she is getting the SSI money, but once sd is 'fixed' then she will be out of 500+ dollars a month!
My sd is 7 (well she just
My sd is 7 (well she just turned 7 but still lol) and still does not know how to read very well. She's in the 1st grade. She knows alot of sight words, but when she tries to sound out new words, she says them completely wrong. She *might* have to be held back per BM (this was in September!). Dh says well we will all have to pick up the pace and work with her even harder. and this Xmas break on her report card she had gotten satisfactory in every subject except reading! so she might not have to be held back after all. and she only learned how to tie her shoes this past summer, after dh was teaching her on his EOWE visitation! so we got her only tie shoes here, but everytime sd comes to us, she's in Velcro or slip on shoes! I have never seen her in tie shoes. I feel sorry for your sd
I hope you guys get custody of her at the hearing!
I know that feeling well.
I know that feeling well. Last school year, SD9 was promoted somehow to 3rd grade. It was the first full school year after DH and BM's separation/divorce. SD9 was struggling terribly, and had to be put BACK a grade, to 2nd grade. Come to find out, BM had been doing her homework for her all her life. This year, she is still doing terribly. She was again promoted to 3rd grade, but it is a lower level 3rd grade (they do similar work to my son who is in 2nd grade), and she is still making F's. If she fails this year, she will be 10 years old, in the 3rd grade next year. Good thing she is really short...
Can I chime in as a former
Can I chime in as a former Kindergarten teacher? (I taught kindergarten and 2nd grade before I went back to school to study law.)
Kids entering kindergarten come in at all different levels. I had kids that could read fairly well and kids that couldn't even write their name.
Typically, the kids who were in a daycare setting were ahead academically. That was the plus. The minus? The daycare kids are always the behavioral problems.
Kids who didn't go to preschool or who attended a part-time preschool were not usually as advanced academically. However, they were usually much better in terms of behavior.
At the end of the year the academic stuff usually evened out.
Most kindergartners cannot read. None of mine could even begin to read at that age. And they are fine..... DS(21) is on a full scholarship in his junior year of college. SS(18) has already been accepted to college. DD(17) has already received a full scholarship to college and has been conditionally accepted to the college of her choice. I guess the jury is still out on SD(15) and DS(9).
I am bragging a little on my kids because I am proud of them. But not a single one of them was reading in kindergarten. I wouldn't worry too much about it yet.
My point is not that she is
My point is not that she is not reading. I already said that I know my daughter is more advanced than most the kids in her class, although there are a handful that are reading. My point is that SD5 is not even being allowed to explore her full potential academically.
SD5 is a bright girl. There is no reason that she shouldn't know all the letters in the alphabet. I have seen the "work" from the school, and it's for kids a lot younger.
And, the catch again, she is not being ALLOWED to go. That doesn't mean that she won't end up where she is supposed to be as an adult. I'm hopeful tht she will but at the same time, if her mom cares this little now, how much support is she going to be in the future?
We just learned today that she's not going to school regularly anyway. It's upsetting and it's wrong. Sure, kids learn when they do, but I don't understand not challenging a student when they're obviously ready for more.
SD is already insecure about what she doesn't know. She asks before we do stuff "is this going to be hard," and it's just really, really heartbreaking. She's so inquisitive and I just see her curious little mind being stiffled. It's wrong.
That's how my kids were as
That's how my kids were as well, stepdown. As a matter of fact, my "gifted child", wasn't even reading well in first grade. In second grade she tested into the gifted program. In 8th grade she started spending her summers living on a college campus and taking college level classes. She took so many AP courses during the school year and college courses over the summers, that she'll graduate from high school and start college as a junior.
My other kids didn't do anything like that. But they all took honors/AP courses. My oldest is doing great in college. And my junior and senior have both been accepted (conditionally, of course) to the colleges of their choice. Again, we still have the 9 year old and the 15 year old at home...anything could happen. But so far, they are both doing ok.
None were reading in kindergarten. And really, they weren't reading well in first grade.
Again, this is not about her
Again, this is not about her not reading. This is more about her potential being stiffled. She could possibly be reading were she given the opportunity, but the point is she is not being given the opportunity to learn. She doesn't even always go to preschool on a regular basis.
Subconciously, SD is getting the message, IMVHO (and, no, I'm not an educator or psychologist) that school is not a priority. She doesn't read with BM, they don't do any mind stimulating things. SD plays video games, watches TV, and tags behind her mom doing adult things. SD doesn't even want to do anything other than these things, it seems. Sure, she's young, and she may change but if these are the building blocks she's getting I can't help but worry about her future.
BM asked us to take her and then changed her mind. BM acknoweledged (to me) that SD would be better served going to school with my SD, so BM is knowingly doing something that is not in SD's best interest.