I've had it and I'm ready to snap.
So FH went to domestic relations this week for a modification of CS review...
Let me update you...He works 5 days a week 3 to 11 his days off are Friday and Saturday. Friday night is our night. We get the girls Saturday around noon - we pick them up Sunday we take them home around noon. It's a 30 minute drive. It's what he can do - they are in school during the day and he works at night. I don't think I am selfish for asking for ONE whole day with him a week. He pays child support - $560 a month...she only makes $25 less then him a year. He also pays health, vision, and dental insurance. He buys them school clothes...and whatever they need for here. He can afford to pay his car insurance and cell phone bill. That's it. We live at his parents. It's what we can afford. She gets over 75% of his paycheck. He works for the county...They no longer pay well.
To make a long story short that raised his CS. AND they also told him everything medical is 50/50 and him paying their health insurance doesn't count? So when she asks for money - he has to give it to her or she can turn him in and have him arrested? WHAT? WHAT IS THIS?????? How the H is that fair? Or 50/50? Her $20 copay is certainly not 50/50 - Today she calls to let him know fsd6 needs new glasses- if the insurance covers the lenses for glasses that HE is paying - wouldn't the frames be her half? I THINK SO!
Has anyone heard of this? I never have - and I spoke to some SINGLE BM's - and they have NEVER heard of this either...in fact they all said she is LUCKY to have a father of her children even pay health insurance! Anyone now a days is lucky to have health insurance! She should consider that a blessing. They even said him paying his CS and health insurance is more than enough - so there is NO way for her to accuse him of not paying half! HELP!
- unbelieveable's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I'm not sure what state you
I'm not sure what state you are in but in Texas it's pretty standard that the NCP pays CS (calculated based on a % NCP's net income), is responsible for paying for the child's insurance and is also responsible for 50% of medical, dental, vision expenses not covered by the insurance. Yes, sometimes it sucks. Especially when you deal with a BM like ours where the only income she has is my DH's child support so we are really paying 100% of the costs for the kids because her 1/2 comes out of what DH pays her and then he has to pay the other 1/2 out of what he has left over after paying her CS. My SD got glasses this past year, total cost AFTER insurance was $140. DH had to pay $70 of that.
I'm not sure how she's getting 75% of his check unless you are calculating the cost of the insurance that BM doesn't actually receive that money. Legally they can't garnish more than 50% of a person's net income. As far as school clothes go, in my opinion, that's what CS is for. We have picked up some of those expenses as well but it's been because the BM didn't do it and we didn't want the kiddos to go without.
I am in PA - my brother also
I am in PA - my brother also pays child support for his children. He does pay health insurance as well - but he said here we don't do the 50% thing or it was never mentioned to him...he said the woman must be a man hater who told him that to scare him...he's been to court a million times and through a nasty custody battle - and he has never once heard of this here...honestly - he will never be able to move out of his parents...or even pay off his bills that he has...for another 12 years he is stuck unless he figures this out...I can't do it anymore...It's making me broke too - he does not even have enough gas half of the time to make it out and make sure the kids have a decent home cooked meal on the weekends so I do that...I refuse to feed them McD's and sh*t...she never cooks. Last week they only bathed twice...this is the most frustrating thing I have ever dealt with on top of "my" own stresses I have...
I'm also in PA and yes, they
I'm also in PA and yes, they do enforce the 50% thing, (it's called unreimbursable medical expenses) but it's not always 50/50; it's whatever the percentage of the combined income belongs to him. In our case, my DH owes BM#1 51% for unreimbursed medical and owes 35% to BM#2 because of their salaries. In your case, since BM only makes $25 less than him a pay, they are more or less equal. It is standard in their CO's that the BM has to pay up to $250 (which is easily caught up in co-pays) and then BM still has to pay the bill but then IT IS UP TO HER to submit the receipt to DH and then he reimburses her his percentage of the bill. If he refuses to pay the bill, she can send it through Domestic Relations and then they will schedule a meeting with BM and DH. If he doesn't show, he will be charged with contempt and will then need to go in front of the judge. You don't go straight to jail. This can also work in DH's favor too if he makes any payments for medical expenses for the kid, but it again, is up to him to submit it to her for her percentage reimbursement.
My advice to you is for your DH to get a lawyer in the state that his child support is going and have them look at it and figure it up. We did exactly this and found that DH was actually underpaying CS to both BM's, so he left it alone. But, the peace of mind you get from that is absolutely wonderful. We were in the same boat as you and your DH - if it weren't for my salary, DH wouldn't have had enough money to buy the pot he could piss in, let alone afford a place to live, a vehicle to drive, insurance for the vehicle, gas for the vehicle, food....it's VERY depressing but things will get better.
Ah thank you for clarifying
Ah thank you for clarifying this...We are looking into a lawyer...we got papers in the mail today...she is sueing him now? She is so effing crazy. Again, she has no idea how lucky she is to have someone with health insurance as a father to her children. If she wants to play games - we will ; )
I'm in KY and my ex has to
I'm in KY and my ex has to pay 50% of medical. I pay for the insurance, and I must produce a receipt of all other medical expenses paid, then he writes me a check for half. When they figured my child support, his went up just a little because he was responsible for 50% of the cost of insurance. My employer had to give me a statement breaking down exactly how much insurance cost me out of my check, then they made him pay half by adding it to his monthly CS obligation. From what I understand, 50% of medical is standard in KY. Not sure how many other states are like that. My DH also had his done the same way when he and BM divorced. His CS includes 50% of what she pays for insurance and as long as she provides a receipt, he pays 50% medical bills.
CS reviews never go
CS reviews never go well...they always seem to raise it
Ok question...do you guys
Ok question...do you guys have the girls every Sat noon to Sunday noon? Or is that EOW?
Also-isn't healthcare costs for county employees relatively minute compared to the private sector employees?
Perhaps an atty is in order as %75 seems grossly wrong if that's really the case.
The $ he pays in cssupot is not a big amount for two kids at all. I'm not surprised of the 50/50 either.
I receive $500 a month...and I pay for our medical benefits/dental/vision...which is a cost just monthly about $200 -not including deductibles, etc.... He is responsible to share 50/50 of extra expenses-glasses, prescriptions, co-pays deductibles...not that he ever has once in 7 years but...yeah and he's not in jail-don't worry.
Is it possible to afford a place w/out staying at the folks? That adds a lot of stress to you guys I'm sure I am one person working, with two kids, the $of support doesn't cover 1/8 of my kids expenses...I live stretched but have my own house. Maybe you guys need to rebudget? Are YOU working?
If he's been paying additional for clothes and such then he either can stop doing that to save some $ or have an atty review based on the expenses he's incurred. Somethings not right if it's that high (75%) of salary.
Some may not agree but I
Some may not agree but I don't feel my FH should pay for anything besides the $600 a mth he already pays for SD. $1,200 a mth is more than enough money to support an 11yr. I think people forget that both parents need to support their child(ren). BM does not care if her child has a relationship with her father the only time BM says your father is when she wants money for something.
Yes, we have them every
Yes, we have them every weekend. There is no custody agreement...it's just what we can do. We are possibly looking into fixing this mess by (when we move out within the next few months) getting them Saturday and Sunday night (so we will have to take them to school Monday morning).
Let's put it this way - she is getting $200 more a month then what he brings in every two weeks. YES, I have two part-time jobs but ONE is only as needed a few times a month...I am also interning. Keep in mind...these are not my children and I am helping support them and him. Living with his parents is very complicated...it is impossible to save up here. Everything we bring in is "community" to EVERYONE who stops in...family...neighbors, friends...etc. His parents are a whole other story and basically have us trapped...read up on his crazy assed mother. lol. I have blogged about her to vent several times.
We are making a plan...now we absolutely have to. Thanks for the reply though. I am getting alot out of these. And also keep in mind - my FH is in no way a "dead beat" dad.
Here you go...here's some
Here you go...here's some costs for you to observe on raising kids. Dont think $600 a month is close to half of the "average" yearly cost divided by month to raise a child.
http://moneycentral.msn.com/articles/family/kids/tlkidscost.asp
I think I have an idea of
I think I have an idea of what it costs - but thanks - remember - I am helping support two that are not mine.