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Xmas Time & BM Needs cash

capp1978's picture

BM is trying to backdate bills for SD 17. She is trying to get DH to pay for 1/2 of SD car insurance back to January. DH told her when she started driving the agreement was SD was to pay her own car insurance. For some reason BM started paying it and now wants us to pay her back 1/2 the money she paid toward the car insurance! DH told her no that's your own fault for paying it, we never agreed to pay the car insurance to begin with. Oh and on top of that BM told him "I have also been paying her cell phone for the last year, so you owe me for 1/2 of her cell phone bill since January as well. She is telling DH we need to pay her almost $1,000. When DH told her absolutely not she replied back "wow I can see who runs your household, looks like she (meaning me) has really changed you. She told DH maybe you and I should meet in person and discuss these bills.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

I will assume, with or without you, your DH would have more sense than to pay a years worth of insurance and phone AT THE END OF THE YEAR, without having agreed to pay these bills at the beginning of the billing cycle (first of this year).

Pfff, but I have wide shoulders. I could handle of greedy *ss BM putting all the blame on me. Go for it BM... tell me how evil I am. Go right on ahead and pretend you didn't know this would be a no-go all fricken year long. *shrugs* Let me have it, because I care not what BM thinks.

It's the magical time of year where all good Daddies just say 'no'. If the CO doesn't have the language that Dad must pay 1/2 the price of car insurance and 1/2 the cost of his little darling to have and use a phone, BM can shove it. Oh, and if CO did require a split on these expenses, I would hope it also included when and how expenses must be billed.

It's ok, Capp, my husband tells his kids (one his, one mine and three ours) 'NO' all the time.... I believe you that this wasn't your doings and who cares what BM thinks Smile

capp1978's picture

I had no idea this was even going on, he told me after the 3rd time she texted him asking him for the money and he already told her absolutely not. The only thing the CO lists is they split the cost of medical insurance. They have always split the bills. Their mutual agreement (outside the CO) was that he pay for SS cell phone she paid SD cell phone. He has always paid without question any bills she has asked for until now. Since SS went off onto his own and got his own cell phone she claims now you don't pay SS cell phone so you pay 1/2 of SD cell phone. DH said he may have agreed to it if she asked him for it at the time but not backdating it.

hereiam's picture

Anytime DH does not do something that other people (his family) want him to do, it MUST be because I won't let him or told him not to.

"wow I can see who runs your household, looks like she (meaning me) has really changed you.

Just an attempt to get under his skin, get him to puff his chest out and declare that HE runs his household and to prove it, he will give her $1000.00. Hahahahaha!

One of DH's sister said basically the same thing to him, and he told her to never call him again. Pissed him right off!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

At least she tried to come up with actual bills? lol. BM seriously calls my DH with "I can't pay for my gas or for snacks for the kids..." She hasn't had the kids in ages... And even before then she wasn't paying a penny for them.. So idk why she thinks DH would give her that. lol

Oh BMs wanting to milk their ex for money... Gotta love that.

Tiger7's picture

Here's good one for you guys: my SO opened a bank acct for his 15 yr old and her first paycheck from her summer job is still in there....a whopping $150. And that's because he picked up her up when she got that first check. BM took control of all subsequent paychecks. BM has been trying to get that $150 ever since. His daughter is constantly asking for it but he knows its the BM putting her up to it because of why she says she wants it. His name is on the acct with daughter and the bankcard got mailed to him. He's trying teach her about saving money etc. He's not budging and its driving BM nuts. Lmao

Tiger7's picture

She's telling her daughter she has to pay her own cell phone bill. I'm ok with that cause these kids need to know a cell phone is a privilege not a right. But he was just questioning her about it this past weekend and it appears BM is scamming her (not surprised). SO said that BM even told him that daughters portion of the phone bill is $40/mo. She told daughter that the bill is $80 which means she's making daughter pay for her portion as well. It never ends with that woman. SO tried to explain this to daughter but she just insists she owes her mom $80 every month for this phone. He didn't get a chance to discuss with BM cause more s**t with the older daughter came up. He's just not giving in on the $150

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

He doesn't need to meet with her. If CO doesn't state that these expenses are split and he did not agree in advance then the discussion is done.

This idea that kids shouldn't be responsible for their own expenses such as car / insurance is ridiculous. Even cell phone is sometimes pushing it.

If mommy gets pawned into it that's on her.

strugglingSM's picture

Any time my DH tries to parent (e.g. suggesting that he and BM hold SSs responsible for things like not doing homework), BM responds "she just needs to realize that I'm an excellent mother" as if DH wouldn't care about his kids doing nothing if I wasn't around.

BM also loves to try to get us to pay things we never agreed to. We just send her info ok things we paid for and say "that's fine, you can contribute to this, too." Then she claims that she was only sharing receipts to show DH how much she was paying, she wasn't actually asking for money.

notsobad's picture

Before I came along BM would tell DH he owed $$$ and he would just give her the cash.
I pointed out how ridiculous that was and that she was inflating the costs. One example was a flight home from Uni for SD, BM said it was $1000.00, I went online and found the exact flight for $380.00

DH was pissed! He was giving her a lot of money for CS and he still trusted her.

She continued to try to scam him into paying her car insurance, her phone bill, buying a car for SD that she would actually drive, flights, Xmas presents.

Over the years we've discovered that anything bought for the skids, especially SD, is considered a joint asset with BM. Phones, computers, cars.
As they've become older it's better but only because the skids need their own things and can't share it or just give it over to BM.