Crossing the line...
Brace yourselves for this...and BEWARE...it's UGLY.
For every step ahead I take with sd10...I feel myself stepping back 3 more...
I have reached my breaking point. I recoil when she comes near me. I never KNOW what she is going to do or WHAT is going to come out of her mouth so I stay as far away as I possibly can but that is VERY hard when there are two kids involved here...
A few mornings ago...I was getting them ready for school...everything was fine...everyone was in a good mood. I was cleaning up their bedroom - gathering laundry and stuff when my little sd8 - AKA Cutie Patootie comes in with this little toy...just showing me everything it could do...it was just a stupid thing from McDs - she and her sis both have one..whatever...SD10 hears us talking about it and immediately comes into the room like a little beast and starts yelling at her sister that it is HERS and her sister should NOT have it...just arguing because she could - I insisted it was NO big deal - there were TWO...this would NOT effect them later on in life and it was certainly NOT worth fighting about...she starts flipping?!? Dh says, "WHO IS GIVING YOU ATTITUDE!?" Sd10 screams ME!!! SISSY HAS MY TOY! IT's MIINEEEE!!! Dh says - you didn't even know she had that thing - shes had it ALL week and you never cared about it - it's NO big deal - get your coat on - it's time for school...SHE IS SCREAMING AT HIM! I said...you better take care of that...she turns around and starts SCREAMING AT ME! UNBELIEVABLE! I HATE YOU! THAT IS MY FAVORITE TOY! MIIINNNEEEE!!!! (I am having severe nightmares and anxiety over what came next...) I walked up to her and turned her around - and rested my hands on her puffy coat...not even gripping - I bent over her - and I said as calmly as I could..."sd10 - this behavior will NOT be tolerated. You are completely out of line here and getting yourself worked up over nothing...you will forget about this later - apologize to me." Shes now SCREAMING AND BAWLING! She looks right at me...and says, "Unbelievable - I am telling my mom - you are GOING TO COURT AND I WILL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN BECAUSE I HATE YOU - I AM TELLING THE POLICE THAT YOU SLAMMED ME AGAINST THE SINK AND THREW ME AND YOU HELD MY ARMS SO TIGHT THEY BRUISED!" (her dad was behind me) - I said - I am barely touching you...and now you are lying - and what you are saying is a terrible lie - and I am DONE WITH THIS!" She says YES YOU ARE! YOU WILL BE IN JAIL!!!! I immediately took myself out of the situation...by this time - Dh's DEVIL MIL is awake...and flipping because of the LIE her precious granddaughter just made up - and she's SEEING this FINALLY! I don't know what happened after that - I pulled cutie patootie in the bedroom with me - and I asked her if she heard what her sister said - and she said "yes - and she lies like that ALL the time and you would NEVER hurt us because you love us." I siad okay - because if she tells anyone that lie they WILL believe her because she is a kid. She says - NOPE! I will tell them she is LYING! So she gave me a kiss and went off to school...I know SD10 cried all the way to school and DH called their mother...she said SD10 has been doing the same thing with her stepdad. WTF? All I know is that this kid is DANGEROUS for me to be around...I OWN a local business here I am recreating and starting this new career and trying to get this business running properly so I can pay a mortgage....my name is EVERYWHERE. All it would take is ONE LIE from this kid to RUIN ME....after they left...MIL had the nerve to tell me I should just stay in the bedroom in the mornings. LIKE I HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS OUTBURST!!! *tearing out hair* - this isn't the first CRAZY thing this kid has done and it WON'T BE HER LAST!! If you look at another post- I wouldn't let her wear one of my necklaces HOME and she threw herself on the bed screaming "SHES TOUCHING ME!" I was like 4 ft. away from her!! AND HORRIFIED!!!! I should have RUN then...OMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
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Comments
Ok, I don't have it so bad.
Ok, I don't have it so bad.
Yes, exactly what Cheri said.
Yes, exactly what Cheri said. That is the most important issue here. He needs to wake up. You should not have to deal with this.
This child should be see a
This child should be see a therapist asap and have weekly appointments. Both bm and dad need to take her TOGETHER. The therapist can document her lying and manipulating behaviors. Sad but this can help protect you from her future lies.
Your husband just stood there
Your husband just stood there and let this all play out???
I'm not big on refusing to allow a SK in your home, but that opinion goes out the window when their actions can end your career.
When SD10 is calm I would
When SD10 is calm I would tell that that lying about adults and accusing them of stuff they haven't done JUST to get their own way will make people not believe her when something REALLY bad happens. If she reports lies to the police no one will believe her when someone tries to abduct her or hurt her. The REAL bad person will get away with it and she will be known to everyone as a liar.
In fact the next time she accuses you of hurting her, hand her the phone and say "Call them right now. RIGHT NOW. I am not moving until you call them. Let them come and take you to a foster home because as you accuse your step dad of the same thing you will not be allowed to your mother's place either. So call 911 right now and let's get this sorted now. I am sick and tired of your threats and I am not scared of the police."
You need to reclaim your life and not let a manipulative 10 yr old run your world. Calling her bluff will mean the police may arrive. She will tell them you bruised her arms (no bruises) and threw her down (no evidence with a room full of 2 adults and her sister). And all because SHE wanted a McDonalds toy. So if this is the first time the police turn up to her hysterics do yo think they will be so impartial the next time she calls reporting your 'assault' against her? All because she refused to do as she was told... Think about it and reclaim your world Too many people are scared of kids. Be logical. And if nothing welse a few weeks in a foster home will give her a dose of reality and give both houses a break.
thanks everyone for
thanks everyone for commenting but I GUESS I was unclear...FMIL is the devil as well - she just wants to be the one to "parent" these kids...she can't stand that I have had a part in raising them - that is why she said very malicifantly that I NEEDED TO STAY IN THE BEDROOM. That's why - NOT because I needed to protect myself. She is NEVER on my side - she acted like she was for one minute...that's all. In the mornings - I get up with them to do hair and send them off - I actually ENJOY this...But for now on...I won't be helping sd10. I am NOT touching her. I Am NOT looking at her. I am actually in the most EFF'd up situation EVER and I think I just need to leave. LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE. And see their dad on datenights or something. And maybe just end this altogether eventually.
2. DH was RIGHT behind me - he was taking care of it - but when the kid started screaming my name and saying things to ME I Stepped in...and when I walked away you bet your ass he took care of it. And she got a nice little buttsmack. And a timeout - which just made her more crazy - I actually heard her yell, "NO ADULT CAN TOUCH ME! NO ONE! I DO WHAT I WANT!"
However...it's NOT taken care of - she went back to her moms after school that day because those are the arrangements and you bet your ass she called her DAD and apologized - NOTHING to me - ANNNDDDD her mother let her go to a friends house today! THE KID SHOULD BE GROUNDED UNTIL SHE REALIZES WHAT HER LIES COULD DO TO SOMEONE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH What's sad is I KNOW WHERE SHE HEARD THE COURT THING FROM...HER MOTHER. A few weeks ago DH had to go get the girls because BM's mother AND husband - called him - their BM was SOOOOOO DRUNK on a Sunday afernoon police were at the house ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These people...and her husband HAS to be careful - HE IS A POLICE OFFICER for God's SaKE. He even said he will not put his life on the line for any of them anymore...I told him TO RUN a long time ago...no one will listen to me - I need to listen to myself and GET OUT!
Little Update...there is no
Little Update...there is no punishment out at BM's house...even IF she is doing the same to her stepdad but my "not so" DH HAS banned her from the computer AND her DS! Way to go and pat on the back for him. I STAYED AWAY for the two days they were just here (worked one night - spent the next day shopping and stuff with my momma) and because their dad has switched some days to help out BM they will NOT be coming back until Sunday evening...I will most likely be at work so I won't have to deal with HER then...SD10 did try to ask me something this morning before I went out for my "walk"...I am taking this time to work on me again...the stress from her the last few years has reeked havoc on my shape...NO MORE! So she asked me a question and I walked right passed her and out the door...DH didn't DARE say a word to me about it either. I told him I was DONE...I MEANT IT. It may be immature of ME as an ADULT to ignore her...but as I said before - she just isn't worth me doing this to myself anymore. If "dh" would like to end our relationship based on the fact that I refuse to ever have a relationship again with that kid...SO BE IT. I didn't tell him he had to choose or anything - I just said I would not be participating in anything she is doing.