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Fixed visits are getting old

tofurkey's picture

As the skid weekend rapidly approaches, I'm starting to realize just how irritating the fixed skid weekend really is. My husband and I work all week, then we have to follow another "schedule" for every other weekend going out to MIL's. I'm getting really iritated by having to go out there, no matter what else we may have going on. Beyond the work that we do during the week, we also always have work to do on the weekend as well. So, we need to get up drive the hour to MIL's, then drive the hour back to town, then work until 8,9,10 at night in order to get the things done that we need to. If one of us is tired, or just not feeling up to making the trip, well guess what still happens. We live in an area that has terrible cold and snowy and icy winters. If there is a blizzard outside and the roads are shitty, well guess what still skid weekend gotta go! If on the rare occassion there is actually something new and exciting and fun going on in our little shit town that we may enjoy, well nope can't go cuz it's skid weekend! Tight on money for the month? Well still fork it out to drive the two hours round trip in our gas guzzling vehicles because it's skid weekend! I know it sounds selfish, it's just gotten increasingly irritating, especially when I don't get crap for time with DH.

Comments

tofurkey's picture

Oh, I do, those comments go right in one ear and out the other. My reply is that I've never been a stepmother before, so NO I didn't know! I married him, not his kid.

DaizyDuke's picture

I remember when I was a kid and my mom married my step dad. His kids lived about 45 minutes away from us. Every Friday after work he would go and pick them up and then every Sunday evening we would have to take them home. I always enjoyed having my step brother and sister there on the weekends (I was an only child before that, so it was fun to have kids to play with) but I DESPISED having to drop everything every Sunday to spend almost 2 hours in the car to take them back home... BORING!

It sucked then and I promise you I would think it sucks now if we had to do that as adults. Thank gawd for us, skids only live about 10 minutes away. I feel for you! Sad

starfish's picture

why do you have to go?? i know in the beginning, you feel obligated ~ i kow i did. i felt like i had to attend every one of mil's bs functions centered around ass gnats. i kow your situation is a little different.. but now, i rarely go to any of her events, nor does dh for that matter.

don't get me wrong we're still fucked with skids every other w/e (plus e/w & eot), but dh drives his happy ass 45mins - 1 hr to get the pita's and takes them home all by himself, too. i NEVER go anymore. sometimes dh will ask if i want to go for the ride, i think he's being funny ~ i can't imagine why else he would ask.

can't you be busy and unable to attend the "great skid visit"?

tofurkey's picture

I can fake being sick here and there. But, since I get such little time with hubby i try to grab it wherever I can. Plus, it gets the visit with MIL out of the way at the same time, avoiding the "omg is tofurkey okay?! what's wrong with her?! she sick, ohhhh nooooo" phone calls where she will literally blow up my freaking phone to make sure i'm not dying lol. I guess it's almost as much having DH being tied to the schedule as it is me coming along.

Tx mommy of 3's picture

I understand! I always start dreading the weekends around Thursday and start counting down the hours til he leaves on sat night! I personally don't do drop offs and pickups but I also don't like having to plan around eow schedules. Yeah, yeah, I married him and knew he bad a kid, but where was this site when I needed it?i come from an 'intact' family and had NO experience with steps/blended families, etc. We just had ss and get to have him ANOTHER weekend, so 2 weekends in a row...yea.

tofurkey's picture

yeah me too. i never dealt with divorce in my family either so this is really foreign to me. and that's all that dh's family seems to be is blended

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Same here. Dh's parents are divorced. His mom remarried and married a divorced guy. His mom's parents were divorced too. His mom also has 2 different fathers to her 5 kids. So his family is full of this and my family is the opposite. I sometimes wonder, "what did I get myself into?" dh also travels 4hrs roundtrip twice (pickup and drop off) to pick up ss eowe. I feel ya on the gas thing! Luckily we have 3 kids together so that is how I 'hide' when I want to.

on the fence's picture

I never go with SO to drop off/pick up and I rarely do family functions. Ugh. Holidays coming and I don't know how I'm going to handle that! I am so over the EOW thing. I hate having to plan around that! "Hey Honey, we have an invitation to whatever or there's a cool something or other coming up, maybe we should......oh, yeah. That's right. It's your weekend on. Well, never mind then. Maybe I'll just go by myself."

skylarksms's picture

I know what you mean about the icy roads, tofurkey!

I had talked H into moving into town where skids lived as it was better job opportunities. Yeah, until the economy went to hell. Then we ended up moving back to our house an hour away because it's paid for and (so far) gas is cheaper than rent/house payment.

BUT, I still get to commute 2 hrs every day for work. So guess who gets to go pick up skid on Friday, even if I get off work early? And guess who is expected to make the 2 hr trip on Sunday, even though I make the 2 hr trip 5 days a week the way it is!!

But as I was told by another poster, I am leaving him soon so who cares.

skylarksms's picture

I have a fixer upper too. Luckily it's paid for. BUT I am letting him have it as I'd rather be away, it's not worth much AND it's an hour away from my work!!!!!

But I am definitely looking for a roomie!!

lostlisa's picture

Sounds like your ready to quit putting up with it now! It took me 20 yrs. Don't be as stupid as I was.

tofurkey's picture

haha i like the postal worker thing Wink so true. I will get upset with DH during the winter that he would rather put us in danger than to miss a skid weekend, i mean come on. some things you can't control and you just need to be reasonable.

sixteensmom's picture

Why'd dh move so far away from kids if he didn't want to drive to get them every week?

tofurkey's picture

It's not DH that complains about it , it's me; i didn't think i put anything in the post about him minding the drive??? My point was: It's actually the opposite for him, that's the point. come hell or high water (even in dangerous circumstances which is stressful). And we didn't move. We've lived where we do for 5 years and MIL has always lived where she has, we do visit out at MIL's because things got out of control here and we work like dogs on weekend so we can't