Sorry this is going to be long. FDH informed me yesterday morning that BM called and said 'you need to keep the kids I'm leaving town'. He 'claims' he got into it with her and that she needs to check with him first to see if we can keep the kids or if she needs to make other arrangements. Of course, BM started in with the guilt.. amazing how they just know how to get at them still... Their your kids and your responsibility too and me and my H are going out of town so if you can't keep them I'll just call my dad and see if he can check in on them (they are 15 & 17). FDH just will not allow that, they will not stay home alone (up until about 2 years ago, he didn't even let them be home alone for a few hours). Of course, after they hung up BM called FSS and got him to start guilting his dad.

Normally, none of this would bother me, but we have barely seen each other in the past month or so because of our work schedules (I work days, he works nights) and two weekends ago when it was supposed to be a kid free weekend, he went out of town with FSS17 so we didn't really get to spend any time together then. This past weekend, we were busy with homecoming-I had to take my DD16 to get her hair done, nails, etc and he was busy running over to where SS said to come if he wanted to see him and get pictures. We were able to spend a few hours together after they all left, but by then FDH was so exhausted that he ended up falling asleep on the couch around 7:30.

He had taken yesterday off of work partly because we are busy remodeling part of the house and partly to try and spend some time together. After I get off work last night, I go to my mom's house to visit because honestly, I was upset that he didn't ask me or at least pretend to ask me if them staying would be a problem or if we had any plans that this would interfere with. (My DD was going to her BD's house for the weekend). He calls and asks where I'm at, and of course I just play dumb and say what are you doing home, why aren't you at work. He gets a little irked and says I told you I was taking today off and I'm like oh, that's right, sorry I forgot. Anyway he asks whats for dinner and I laugh and say it's Friday, I'm not cooking (mainly because his kids are there and I stopped 'planning' meals when they are there) So he says well I'll order a pizza then. Ok, fine with me, I'll be there in about 45 minutes or so. I get there FSD is gone already and FSS is sitting there stuffing his face (as always), my DD is at work and then going to her dad's for the weekend. I play with the dog for a minute and then sit down to eat. After I'm done, I go outside with the dog and FDH comes out there. He asks whats wrong......

I let it all out. I told him that I was disappointed that our weekend is shot because his EX has decided to ruin it for us and he ALLOWED it. And I ask him how it feels to have his ex-wife still have such a strong hold of his balls. Then told him that he should really re-consider who he wants to be married to because maybe since she has so much control and say over his life, that he should really consider convincing her to divorce her husband so that they could get remarried because in my eyes, they are still married (even though they have been divorced for 8 years). He of course got defensive and said she did not control his life.... I just laughed and said she has more say over you then I do. He got upset and kept trying to convince me she didn't. I continued my rant and told him that it would be a cold day in hell before she would control my life and asked him when him and I would become a priority and she would be put last. He responds with the we are a priority, and she does not control us, blah, blah, blah. Really??? She doesn't control us???? WOW..... then I must be imagining things. Like I said at the start, this wouldn't normally bother me, but... she has done it so often in the last 2 months and it's always last minute. I just looked at him and said I think the store has balls on sale, maybe you should run over there and get a new pair and left to take the dog for a walk.

When I got back, FSS had left to go out with friends and FDH tried to defend himself some more. I just looked at him and said you know what, I'm done listening to the excuses. You say you want to spend quality time with me and that we are a priority but yet you don't show it. I asked him what if I had plans this weekend and wanted to surprise you and go somewhere... I can't do that unless I check with BM first to make sure she is going to take the kids when she is supposed to. I told him again that if he wants BM to still control him, fine but she will not control me. We are supposed to go to a party today and I told him last night, that I'm not going to be able to go because I'm going shopping and to dinner with a friend (mainly because the SK's will be going to the party is the reason why) and that I didn't make anything for him to take to the party so he may want to go buy something for it. He got upset, but I just looked at him and said, I'm sorry I know we had plans, but I didn't realize those didn't change I figured that we weren't going since they were here for the weekend. No response.... hmmmmm, maybe he got it? Doubtful, but hey a girl can wish!!

This morning, he acts as though nothing happened last night. He asked what time I'd be back from shopping and I told him that I wasn't sure, it just depends on where we go. I also told him that if we end up having drinks, that I may just stay over her house so I didn't have to drive home after drinking. He got upset about that but sorry FDH, I'm going to have my kid free weekend, with or without you. I need a stress/drama free weekend. He knows that I've got a 3 day workshop next week at work and I've been stressing over that and really needed to unwind this weekend and not have any additional stress added. So that's what I'm still going to do, unwind, have no added stress and clear my head. It's time to put ME first and MY feelings first. If he won't do it, then I will.