I Think This Lack of Contact is BM's Form of a Tantrum
Okay so the custody battle is no longer a battle for DH. He hasn't won but BM made it clear that she can't afford, nor does she want to, fight over something that really wasn't going to change much.
However, DH hasn't forgotten nor forgiven because he is still asking for child support. I don't know how I feel about it ... we can afford to take care of them on our own and she really doesn't have the money to pay CS but he gets like this - vindictive. So I think this is a battle I shall choose carefully if I choose it at all.
But the reason for my blog stems from the fact that since this determination was made - court case was moved to this state - BM hasn't called the children. DH asked her why and she said "the phone works two ways. If they want to talk to me they can call me."
For christ's sake lady! They are not teenagers. They are still children! I mean seriously. How many parents think this way? Is this her way of lessening the pain? Don't get me wrong, she drives me up the wall but not half as bad as some of the BMs on Steptalk. On the other hand, I am not willing to have a conversation with this woman about keeping in touch with her children unless one of the kids feels pain. THEN I will step in or ask DH to do so.
What a silly, immature, sulking little cow.
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Your BM sounds very immature.
Your BM sounds very immature. The only time my Skids call their mother is only if BF or I have punished them for something so they call and bitch to BM about it but then again they are teenages.
If the cow doesn't want to call and speak with her children, so be it. At the end of the day she is loosing out not you or your H.
All the best with the CS, I hope it all works out in your favour
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They are 9 and 11. They are
They are 9 and 11. They are not too young but at the same time, I don't think it is fair to make them call. She didn't do that for neither my husband nor I while we were deployed. So perhaps we are holding that grudge but the 11 year old will call if he wants to.
I'm a SM and I have a 10yr
I'm a SM and I have a 10yr old SD. We just got out of a custody battle. We wanted joint custody... BM wanted full custody. We ended up with joint custody. The Order doesn't state for the parents to call each other. BM calls every day... untill she reaches SD. We have her call BM every other day... even when SD doesn't want to talk to BM. What child wants to get on the phone? It's up to the parents to establish a relationship whether who has the child. If a parent hasn't talked to the child in a few days, it should be up to that parent to make sure they talk to the other parent... and vice versa. I know that both parents are both hurt and bitter about the divorce and seem to take it out on the children... We are the parents so we need to be the responsible ones and learn to get over being hurt and parent the children. So, make the effort... it's only a phone call.
You are missing the point.
You are missing the point. She used to call but since the case was moved ... she has not.
She is the mother. It is HER
She is the mother. It is HER responsibility and her responsibility alone.
If you were consistently making the children unavailable when she calls that would be different.
It is not the child's responsibility AT ALL, not at that young age.
She sounds like a selfish git who wants to feel sorry for herself because her kids don't call her.
I think the responsibility is
I think the responsibility is for both. Kids that age can call their fathers or mothers. Shoot my kids certainly can pick up the phone to call their friends already.
Here's the thing-my ex never even when they were much younger made an effort to call on the phone -he also felt that they should call him. And yes there were only a handful of times he called and we were tied up and couldn't answer. EIther way he's never made much of an effort-but I DO try to get the boys to call him every once in a while. I have to facilitate and encourage contact and their relationship w/their dad because HE fails to do so. Their mistakes doesn't IMO give us permission to make our own mistakes.
You can't let bitterness, anger and revenge dictate your life or your parenting skills. Make an effort and maybe you can agree to initiate one call, then her, then you, etc.