Things are not as I want them with my BF. Long story but his life wasn't and still isn't ready for me. Many times I've tried to end things but I love him, which is why I am still with him. That being said, lately I feel indifferent re spending time together. We've gone from living together and dreaming of getting married to seeing each other sometimes just once a week. I moved my kids and left a good job to be with him (he couldn't move because he's got a 50/50 custody situation and BM lives in this town) -- needless to say, the job I got here I lost after the new year d/t the economy and am still trying to find work...

Anyway, up until the last week my boyfriend has been very noncommittal re changing things/making plans to change things with SD, his mother, who is constantly up his butt and calling him for stupid shit when we're together, asking where he is, etc.(he is in his 30s and lives at home, and up until this past week he's been thinking he'd be staying there until SD decides to live with her mom full time or, perhaps even until she is 18! She looks to him for many things because her BF doesn't meet all her needs)and his finances (can't afford to live on his own d/t his divorce and 50/50 situation...and so is dependent on his mom slightly financially -- lives rent free and she provides child care for SD).

So, now he's had an epiphany that he's going back to school, wants to be debt free and live on his own in two years. These are all things I've been pushing for but now suddenly it's his idea.

My question is, why don't I feel excited and hopeful? I feel numb and sort of indifferent. I don't feel excited to see him or do anything together anymore.

Also, how long is a reasonable amount of time to wait to see if things get better? We've been together 2.5 years now...and the last year has been unhappy. I asked them to move out of my house because I could not live with SD (an only child whose been doted on) and the dysfunction surrounding her and her mother (hypochondria, an unhealthy and irrational fear the child was sick, would become sick, or would be harmed), was tired of paying for everything related to our house, tired of feeling my house was taken over, and tired of dealing with an unstable, intrusive BM.

My Bf says things are better but I am never around to see whether this is true. Actually, I've spent time with SD in the last month and she seems just as spoiled as ever. His mom is a nice woman but a pain in the ass. I am just wondering with SD, BM, and his mom, how my BF can ever have an exclusive relationship with me.

He seems like he's waking up but I feel dead. I am stuck in limbo and have been for a year. I love my boyfriend and aside from the stuff he's starting to work on, he's a wonderful hardworking man, who is wonderful and loving to my kids, helps me with things in my house, is loving to me, etc. Still, I just feel numb.

I am not sure if it is just that we've been together for a while and I feel dead because we're not moving forward...can't move forward. I can't seem to get past my resentment and hurts from the past re SD and BM. I am seeing a counselor and we've gone to couple's counseling and are considering going again S/T to gain some understanding on whether we should stay together or not -- whether it is workable. He knows I do not like his daughter and it causes resentment on his end.

So, just wondering how much longer you'd stick around if you were me. Also, what do you think feeling numb means? I feel like I cannot move forward, but also cannot let go.