Do I call cps? Advice needed please.
I'll try to keep this short...
When I moved in with DH 5 years ago I began to notice that SD (then 6) always had wet (peed in) pants. She would walk around with pee on the back of her pants and if asked would say she had an "accident". She is still doing this. For five years now she has been peeing in her pants, does anyone else see that this is a problem? When DH would mention it to BM she would change the subect and say the pee smell was from my BD (she was 18 months then) because they shared a room. I guess my BD was peeing in SD's pants?? I think not. Anyway, DH has not mentioned it to BM in a long time. We have tried everything, making her wear pull ups, taking away priviledges, asking her to wear pads. She will not use the pads I buy her and sits on the furniture with her peed in pants. She smells very badly and either she has a medical problem or a mental problem that needs to be dealt with. DH says that he called CPS and they told him to try to spend more time with her and there was nothing they could do. I'm wondering if he really did call them or he just said that so I would stop bringing it up. He will not take her to the doctor and refuses to talk to BM about it anymore.
What I would like to do is call CPS, tell them who I am and tell them the problem. I really don't even like SD anymore, she's grown into a hateful child thanks to BM's jealousy. I do feel badly that neither of her parents care to find out what's wrong with her though. Also, from a purely selfish point of view, I do find it disgusting that there a pee germs everywhere and that she walks around smelling like pee all the time. Should I call or should I continue to ignore the problem like her parents are doing?
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oh wow that sounds like it
oh wow that sounds like it could be a number of issues...
have you asked her or sat down with her and talked her about about if she cant hold it in or if it hurts? i actually suffer from awful UTI's and bladder infections since i was little, and they suck but i had a simple operation to fix it and life is now sweet!!. It could be a similar thing where the bladder muscle are weak and therefore she cant actually control it or knows she is actually weeing all the time. the BM and DH should of snipped the issue in the butt a long time ago because it can lead to serious other issues if it hasn't been treated.
i dont know what your relationship is like but even taking her to see a local doctor or urologist would be able to rule out any medical issues and then work on if it is a mental issue..
or simply she is doing it because it creates attention, she knows if she does this then she will get attention for it.. does it happen in public or school.. or when she is just in the home?
Well, if your DH refuses to
Well, if your DH refuses to take her to the doctor, tell him you are going to make an appointment with the doctor. And then do so, and take her yourself. Tell the doctor when you are there that you took her because neither of her parents will do it. Ask him/her for advice.
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
Im not really sure... It
Im not really sure... It sounds like she needs to see a doctor. It sounds like she has something emotional going on. I mean, there probably is a medical reason, but for her to not change after wetting herself at her age is what seems unusual to me.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
I'm saddened that neither of
I'm saddened that neither of her bioparents will take her to the doctor.
She could have been abused. This is one symptom of sexual abuse in children. Google "signs of molestation in children." You will find a lot of thorough lists of symptoms.
I also agree with Belle. Take her to the doctor. Get the doctor's advice and try to help her as best you can from there.
If you can't legally take her to the doctor, then yes, call CPS and tell them that neither of her bioparents will take her to the doctor's. You'll know you did all you could to help SD.
I agree with everyone else -
I agree with everyone else - the first step should be getting medical attention to find out if it's a physical thing. Oh, and here in the UK, not taking your child for medical attention is classed as neglect.
"God never gives us more than we can cope with, I just wish he didn't have such faith in me!"
My SD started doing this
My SD started doing this recently and come to find out it was for attention because of BM's baby. But your situation sounds like it is probably mental or physical. She should be taken to a doctor and see if recommends psychological help or if she has a medical issue.
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Why hasn't DH taken her to
Why hasn't DH taken her to the doctor? It's clear that she needs help. If BM is unresponsive, it's his duty to get the child to a doctor. Or maybe you should just take her since neither of her parents seem to give a damn.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
I would like to take her to
I would like to take her to the doctor but I can't. First of all we have no idea who her doctor is, I could make an appointment with my own doctor for her but neither DH or I can pick her up from school. We're in Canada, BM put on the birth certificate that the father was "unknown" and so we have no legal right to talk to her teachers, doctor, school counsellors or anyone else about her. DH went along with this at the time but he's sorry now. So, I guess I will call CPS then. Now I have to decide if I should give my name and wait for the poop to hit the fan, or if I should do it anonymously. Seriously, this has gone on way too long and I'm sure she probably was abused, BM has moved men in and out of her place alot. Also SD has an older brother that's into drugs and is no longer living there. I looked up the signs of abuse (sexual and mental) and she fits the description. I feel badly for her that nether of her parents care, I told DH I thought she was abused and he said he didn't think so and that was the end of the conversation.
Your DH is in denial about
Your DH is in denial about all of this. Whatever you decided to do, good luck. Please update us - it's just sad that it has gotten to this point in the first place.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Before you call cps do some
Before you call cps do some Internet research on how to call them and what you should do when placing the call.
You definitely need to call CPS. Call her doctor, too. Even if you can't take her, he could possibly fax his medical opinion to CPS.
Also, fax/email any documentation that you think will help to back you up to CPS.