I really need to vent and no one really seems to have any answers. Here goes. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. He has a 14 year old daughter that he shares joint custody. Now mind you his child is the result of a one night stand with a women he can't stand. When I aksed him why he slept with her then his comment to me was that he was drunk and he knew she was easy. Fast forward...... I am a single mother of a wonderful 9 year old who has no relationship with her father (his choice since she was 4). I have raised my daughter to always be respectful and caring. When I met my boyfriend and we became serious we both met each other children. His daughter is a beautiful and smart girl, but I knew she had issues right off the bat. She and her father really do not have a close relationship. They don't show each other any emotion (no hugs, no I love you's) I thought that was strange. But she and her mother are best friends. The closer me and my boyfriend became, the more time the girls have spent with each other. We were like a family and it felt GREAT. Then one day her mom called to talk (she always acts nice to me) and she proceeded to tell me that my boyfriend was a loser and that he would never commit to me or any woman and that her daughter didn't like spending time at my house and thought I was mean to her. All of which was news to me. So I blew her off, because my boyfriend said she has always been a liar. Time goes on the girls get older and my boyfriends daughter starts to become a handful. She has missed 17 days of school this year (when she is with her mother) most of which is because they over sleep. She throughs fits like a 5 year old until her dad gives in and she gets her way. It is so frustrating because I can't do anything about her behavior, because I am no one to her. She told her dad the other day that I am a Bitch and she and her mom don't want her coming to my house anymore. I just don't understand. She doesn't talk to us EVER. We had to learn that her mom put her on the pill at age 12 and that she was hanging out with 18 year old guys and going to parties and getting "wasted" by reading her journal. I try to talk to her but she starts crying and says she hates being here and just wants to go home to her mom and her friends. Last week her dad went to pick her up and she wasn't at school (shocker). Her mom called my boyfriend and said that they were at the DR. because she was sick and they met at her house. She went to get into his car and her mom asked what her dad did with her cell phone (she is grounded from it for lying and got caught with it so he took it away) he told her that he would give it back when he dropped her off on Monday and then all hell broke loose. His daughter got out of the car, tried to grab her bag (with no success) and started her fit. She ran into her moms house and said she wasn't going with her dad. He sat in the driveway for 2hrs waiting for her mother to tell her to go and she NEVER did. This girl always gets her way when she throws a fit. So he called the police, as did her mom and they stated that since there is nothing in the court order stating that if she refuses to come to his house during his time that the police can intervene, there was nothing they could do. So he left. The next day he went to pick her up from school and she wasn't there. She was home, still not feeling well. So he went to get her. I thought we would be doing our normal weekly ritual but NO, because she and her mother think I am mean to her (because I am a parent and have rules?) they didn't come over. When he told me that it broke my heart. I am mean to her? I took this girl to the salon on her 14 birthday and spent $109 to have her hair bleached. I buy her the cool clothes. Her dad has been laid off work since last summer and I am the one who bought all of her Christmas Presents for her. Not to mention cook her food, do her hair when she wants to look "super" cute. I feel like I just got used by this little girl. She lies to everyone and there are NO consequences. Her dad found her journal again and read it and found out that one night when we had her and her cousin watch the kids while we went out with his brother for an hour, she had some guy drive over and sneek into her cousins bedroom window. When we showed up early they freaked out and hid this guy in the closet. She asked us if she could stay the night and when we said no she flipped out on us and just about had a melt down. Now I know why. Is he going to do or say anything? NO, can you believe it? He says what is the point, her mom let's her do that stuff all the time. Really? If my dad would have found something like that when I was a kid.... I would've come home seen it on the kitchen table and just start bawling. I knew I was in trouble. But not her. I went to pick her up from his house tonight so that she wouldn't be alone while he was at the nusing home with his dying grandmother and when he showed up at 1am she said "I don't want to stay here anymore" and that was that. So needless to say, they left. I am sick of her running the show. He doesn't understand how this makes me feel and at times I don't think he cares. She has made comments to me in the past "my dad will never marry you, I won't let it happen." I tell him this and he just laughs like it's a joke. My daughter on the other hand..... if she doesn't eat all of her banana..... get this he made her take it out of the trash and eat it. WTF? I wasn't there but when I found that out I lost it. It's okay that his kid can do whatever, but mine can't throw out a banana? I told him that all 3 of them need counseling. He won't do it. I think he is afraid of the confrontation. Well, I can't let my daughter and I be second best to this any longer. I packed up all of her clothes that were at my house and made her take them with her tonight. She asked me why and I told her, "You and your mom think that I am a mean bitch and you don't want to come to my house? Then don't." My boyfriend looked at me and said that he would call me tomorrow and things will get better, "It's just till Monday." YEAH RIGHT!!! I am sick and tired of all the headaches this girl has caused me recently and I know that it will just get worse. And what I have written here is just the tip of the iceburg. Let's see..... She is EMO, bisexual, hates girls, loves older guys with tattoos and piercings, can't live life without a boy or girlfriend. Has no boundries (sexually) except for the top, takes guys up to the lake with her mom on the weekends she is there, walks up to strange guys wherever and gives out her cell # and tries to hook-up. I mean reading her journal was like a slap in the face. She says my daughter is "F***ing annoying" and can't stand being around her. UGHHHHHHH She makes me want to scream. I really wish there was something I could do. But I feel somewhat better since I was able to vent. If anyone has any suggestions I am open to anything. I do love them both very much, but right now I feel exhausted and I don't want my daughter to be subjected to her behavior any longer. HELP!!