I had a meeting with 3 of BS11s teachers last Friday. BS11 has been lying to me, DH, his teachers, and the principal for a few weeks now. BS11 has not been doing homework, hasn't been turning in classroom assignments, and talking during class. As a result, he is failing 2 classes and almost a 3rd. During this meeting I found out that BS11s IEP teacher had a talk with BS11 2 days prior. BS11 never mentioned it to DH or I. I asked BS11s teachers if there is anything else that DH & I can do to get BS11 to do his work. All 3 teachers said that DH & I are doing everything we possibly can, his teachers are doing everything they possibly can, and it is now up to BS11. I totally agree with them. I ask BS11 everyday if he has homework. If he says no, I drop it. He will have to deal with the consequences of not doing it, not me. The 3 teachers I meet with also said that if BS11 does not make a drastic change in his behavior and maturity level, the 3 of them will recommend that BS11 be held back, even if he gets passing grades. I have tried to teach BS11 organization and for a week or so he does what I showed him, but then were right back to where we were when we started. DH & I have taken things away and now it doesn't seem to bother him. BS11 is now on a point system to earn time to use his computer. He had earned an hour last week, but lost the ability to use it when we went out to eat Friday night. DH & I took the kids to a buffet. BS11 ate 2 plates of food and then had ice cream and some cookies. After he ate that, he got up and I asked him what he was doing. He said going to get more ice cream. DH & I said no, 1 ice cream is enough. If you are still hungry, get fruit or more regular food...No ice cream. It went a few minutes and here comes BS11 with a snicker on his face and in his hands was another dish of ice cream. He deliberately did the opposite of what we told him to do. BS11 tried lying his way out, saying he didn't realize he was getting ice cream. Needless to say, he did not get to eat that ice cream and we left. DH & I are at a loss on what to do. My mother claims to think that there is a reason for him to be acting this way. She has tried blaming it on SD15 moving in with us & me not sitting at the table with BS11 while he does his homework (when he admits to having any). But when he does have homework, if he can't figure out the answser he will try several different ways to get us to give him the answer. My mother has been an issue in BS11s life up until when we moved 1100 miles away from her. We did so, b/c she babies BS11, gives him what ever he wants, does not punish him when he is bad while in her care, and when she did attend sporting events of BS11s made it known to him that she was worried that he may get hurt. BS11 quit wrestling (which he loved & was good at) at the first practice of his 3rd year b/c he was afraid to get hurt or hurt someone else. DH & I thought that by moving 1100 miles away from her would solve the problem. But every time he gets to see her & spend any amount of time with her, we are back to this behavior. I don't want my son to be held back due to my mother's influence on him. But I also don't want to have to keep BS11 away from her totally. DH & I have already told BS11 that we are limiting how often he gets to talk to her on the phone. What else can DH & I do to get BS11 to start acting his age and basically grow up? BS11 also needs to be more responsible and organized. How do we get him to do that?