I'm looking for some advice on what to do with my BS11. Since we have moved 1100 miles away from my parents, he had seemed to finally grow up a little bit and started acting his age. Well, then SD15 moved in with us in August, due to her step-father(SF) molesting her for several years and finally having the courage to tell us on her visit here with us in July. At first everything seemed to be going pretty good between SD15 & BS11. I mean they have their normal sibling fights, but for the most part they get along great. Well, BS11 was doing very well in school until SD15 moved in. Last year he had straight A's & B's and on the honor roll. This year straight C's last nine weeks and now this nine weeks (which is over in 3 weeks) he has 1 A in Art, 2 B's English & Math, and 3 D's in Reading, Science, & Social Studies (which Science & Social Studies are his 2 favorite classes and had straight A's last year). His Science & Reading D's are almost F's and at his school, he only has to fail one class once to be held back. We have tried talking to him about this and he just gives us the attitude that he basically doesn't care. We have taken his PS2 & his computer privileges away from him until his grades come up and he also has to read a book for at least an hour every night(if he doesn't have homework). He rarely brings any homework home....says he gets it done in school. But according to his progress report, there are several assignments that he did not turn in. He also has the habit of making himself sick to either get out of going to school or being picked up early from school. He tried it with me this morning, but I refused to let him stay home. He knows that the only he is allowed to miss school or be picked up early is if he is running a fever. Which he was not this morning, so he went to school. Now at the beginning of this school year, he was having a little trouble with one kid at school bullying him, but we spoke to the principal and took care of it. With everything that has happened the past few months, there were times where he probably either felt left out or ignored. Due to SD15 having numerous appointments every week and always having to discuss what was happening with her case against SF. But that has all calmed down some what. SD15 now only has 1 appointment each week for counseling and the preliminary hearing is Dec.2nd. Which DH & I decided that I will take SD15 1100 miles back to our home state for it and that DH & BS11 will stay here. That way DH does not have to take a full week of work off (which would be no problem if DH had vacation time) and so BS11 doesn't miss any school that is unnecessary, so he can work on bringing his grades up. I tried talking to my mother about it and told her that if BS11 fails 6th grade, he will not be coming up next summer to visit for a month. Instead he will be going to summer school to make up the work and be passed to 7th grade. She says well bribe him and maybe he'll bring his grades up. I told her that we basically are, because he lost his PS2 & computer privileges until his grades come up. So his incentive to do better is getting those 2 things back that he cares about the most and it doesn't seem to matter to him. Then I was talking to a friend of mine and she suggested that he maybe doing so poorly in school because of the stress that we are under right now due to SD15's case, DH's job being so slow & not being able to find a better job & hardly any money coming in, and me not being able to find job to help out. And she also mentioned the possibility that BS11 feels left out or ignored. DH & I try our hardest to spend time with both kids. We have family game night, we do High Low(which is where we all share our Highs & Lows for that day)every night at supper, we make sure each of us has sufficient time to talk during or after supper by having the rule that no one can leave the table until DH & I say they can, and we also try to have a family movie night(since we don't have cable or satelite right now because of not being able to afford it). One other thing DH & I did, was give BS11 our bedroom because we live in a 2 bedroom trailer and when SD15 moved in, we were alternating who got BS11's bedroom. At first they were doing pretty good at one kid sleeping in the bedroom & one on the fold out couch and then the next night switching. But then BS11 started getting upset because SD15 was moving his things around and/or taking his things without asking while she had the bedroom for the night. So to solve the problem, DH & I gave BS11 our bedroom and we sleep on the foldout. Which we are building another bedroom on for DH & I, but we have to wait until tax time. So I don't really think that it is him feeling ignored or left out, but DH & I are at a loss of what to do. We feel like we have tried everything and nothing helps. I know BS11 is use to being an only child because even before we moved 1100 miles away from our family & DH's daughters, he was still basically an only child because we only had his daughters every other weekend. So I know it is a big adjustment for him, but we don't know what else to do to make it easier for him. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.