Thanks girls! You just affirmed what I thought, so it's good to hear that I'm not being irrational.

To give a little background, we were all hanging out on Thanksgiving with a couple of out of town friends and since it was a casual, relaxed day (rather than with a formal meal) we invited her to join us because her family isn't in the area. While we were all sitting around watching tv (I even had my legs over H's lap like I usually do when we watch tv) and she sat across the room and text messaged him. After she left, he showed me the messages and they were things like "I counted and you just said "Uh" six times" and teasing things like that. I think that even saying that out loud in a group would verge on flirtatious, but text messaging it seemed like she was trying to create some special, intimate thing just between them. She sent him a total of six random messages like that and I felt extremely uncomfortable and angry. It was purely a social occasion and she has absolutely no reason to text him privately. H was irritated, but still doesn't perceive it as flirting! He doesn't understand why it's inappropriate! She has had a huge crush on H for many years and both H and I have talked about it and I sometimes tease him about it. The great part is that I'm not worried at all about H being unfaithful to me in any way, it just bothers me that this girl crossed some boundaries. Fortunately, this whole thing had a happy ending. We had a mini-fight about Thanksgiving and he acknowledged that she acted "weird" and "annoying" but wouldn't face that she was flirting and being inappropriate with him. We both know that she isn't a threat because it's completely one-sided, but I wanted him to set some clear boundaries with her because it drives me nuts to think that this stupid girl thinks she can be inappropriate with MY husband right in front of my face! So anyway, we argued about it a little bit, but on Christmas she sent him another text message that ended with "Love, ---- xoxoxo" We both agreed that that was completely and totally inappropriate and he was even more upset than I was because he realized that I had been right about her and he felt like she disrespected me, him, and our marriage and threw away their friendship. He called her right away and although it was really awkward, he told her that he wasn't comfortable with anything suggesting anything other than a platonic relationship. She freaked out and told him that she sent it to everyone in her phone, which isn't true because I am in her phone and she certainly didn't send it to me! H was very clear and wasn't mean, he just set a boundary. Her reaction shows me that he hit a nerve. She wouldn't have freaked out like she did if there hadn't been anything behind her actions. She then un-added him on Facebook and hasn't called or texted since. She had always been weird with me and ranged from socially awkward and shy to rude and kind of bitchy. It was never anything I could call her on until Thanksgiving but was stuff like her constantly mentioning that we got married fast and pointing out that she has known him "forever" and things like that. H also told me that once she asked H to tell her how we met and our story and he started out explaining it and when he said, "then we fell in love..." she stopped him and said she didn't want to hear it. ??? She also dresses up like a skank when she is going to hang out around him with tons of tacky cleavage. My mom and sisters saw how she was acting on Thanksgiving and were completely appalled and all individually came up to me and asked me how I put up with her? She basically followed him around like a little puppy and wouldn't talk to anyone else. When someone comes into MY home, they better damn well treat me with respect and not attach themselves like a rotting barnacle to my husband. H was completely oblivious and didn't notice anything at all. He was as affectionate as he usually is and she just stared at us with pure jealousy and anger and I can't believe he couldn't see it. Maybe it is a girl thing and we are the only ones who notice it when other women are hitting on our guys? So, anyway, it ended well and I am actually relieved that things came to a head and got resolved, at least from my perspective.

I'm so glad you all agree that the text messaging is flirting though. I still can't get H to recognize it when women flirt with him and it would give me peace of mind if he acknowledged it. I never have to worry about him cheating on me or anything like that, but I still want him to set clear boundaries with those few women that don't respect that he is very happily married. We are a very affectionate and happy couple, so that's not the issue. I remember seeing him when he was with BM and he was totally different. An outsider would never have known they were together. They always maintained about six feet of distance between them, never once held hands and showed no affection or warmth other than politeness. We are totally different and there is no way any woman could see us as anything other than very happily married. This girl walked the line of inappropriate for a while, but I was okay with her until she crossed a boundary. I want to be cool with H having female friends so I tolerated her, but eventually it was too much. I just want H to know about this stuff for the future, because women hit on him and check him out all the time. We have the curse of the hot husbands I guess!

Thanks for the feedback because it makes me realize that I'm not totally crazy and paranoid. I feel affirmed about being uncomfortable with this kind of behavior.

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde