Lol. I keep telling myself things will be better when I have my own little bundle. I wont have to worry about giving my all and doing my best only to be unappreciated and called by my first name and not anything nearly related to mom.

I really can't imagine how much that would hurt. I think that when you get older you may resent him for not having kids with you.

Could it be that he has so much fun with you that he wants to keep you all to himself. Or that he doesn't want you to lose your figure. I know that sounds crazy, but when met my DH, he was adament about not having kids. One of his "reasons" was that he didn't want me to get bigger like his ex did. I told him that I NEEDED another child, for my own reasons. He is a really great dad, and we now have a baby girl. He loves her so much that HE wants to try for her brother.

You sound like you are the better woman, and if you want a child for your own reasons then you should not question at why he would want to have kids with this other woman, but why he would deny you the one thing you want so much.

You know I was gonna ask you that. IS this really the man u want for the rest of your life if it means you cant have kids.. But I assumed that since he was dh you'd come to terms with that and decided that he meant more to you than any plans of future reproduction. I really wish you the best though

LOVELOVELOVE, I can completely relate to your pain. Our stories are quite similar...

My DH met BM(TROLL AS HE CALLS HER) when he was 20 years old, knowcked her up on their 3rd or 4th date and then married her less than 3 months later only because she was pregnant. He claims that he never loved her and only stuck it out for the sake of his 2 daughters. 2 years after first SD was born he made her have another baby because he didn't want SD to be an only child. He stayed married to TROLL for 12 years and later divorced her due to health problems that he developed. He has an auto-immune disease. Their constant fighting was actually making him sicker.

I then enter the situation and we fall madly in love and have now been married for just over a year. We have gone back and forth about the idea of children. He originally didn't want any but then changed his mind (several times)....the most recent time was a couple of months ago when I told him I wanted to start trying after the NEW YEAR, I got a big speech about how we can't afford it and the only way we could have a child now is if we sold our house and got rid of our dogs. Meanwhile, I am 33 years old and my bio clock is ticking so loudly, I can no longer find the snooze button. I have pointed out to him many times how hurtful it is that he chose to have children with a woman he hated and never loved but is unsure if he wants one with me, the woman he claims to love.

TROLL hardly ever had sex with him and allowed herself to turn into a 5'2 lump of crap that weighs over 2 bills. She had beady little eyes, wear glasses and and is the most unattractive woman I have ever met - wears acid washed jeans from the 80's that are 2 sizes too small and tucks her shirts into them so she has a very prominent muffin top. I may not be a supermodel, but she sure as hell makes me look like one!!

I suffer with the same feelings you have my dear and it hurts more deeply than anything else I have ever experienced. The uncertainty of whether or not I will ever have children haunts me on a regular basis. My husband's health has recently taken a turn for the worse and in dealing with all of his issues and the baggage that comes along with his kids makes me very sad, angry and resentful.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin