Yesterday BF had SD1. It was nap time and like he often will he let me rock her to sleep, well after he tried the just laying her in bed method, which did not work. But anyway, I placed her in her bed and BF and I napped as well. He let me sleep on the bed and he took the floor, he lives with his parents and his mom has a SERIOUS problem with us laying in bed together. After sometime of SD1 napping she woke up, I was closest to the crib so I picked her up and held her for a moment. She whimpered and I asked her if she wanted daddy. She shook her head no and placed it on my shoulder. I held her for a minute while she cried then she fell asleep on my shoulder, I just laid back and she slept on my chest for a while just sleeping, holding her little arms around my neck. Then she rolled over and slept next to me for the rest of her nap. She would reach over often looking for my hand, I would place my finger in her hand and she would squeeze it.

I don't know but the whole experience made me feel special and loved. She probably doesn't know it but that little girl means so much to me. BF said he was happy the two of us had that moment, cause he thought it would show me that she loves me as much as he does.

I know I have my problems, I worry way too much, but I know BF loves me, SD as well. I just wish I could get rid of my problems. Im making a mess of things with them. There is nothing wrong with my situation, just somehow with me. I think counseling is really starting to help. I think if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have even had that moment. Thank God for the things we are given.