Yesterday I posted on how H gets aggravated in the counseling sessions with BM cause she is acting Ms. Perfect and running her mouth and he just says nothing rather than blowing his top. So we did an outline of Goals, Issues, Questions, and the Parental Alienation signs that SS has. H took it to counseling last night.

Here are the highlights in no particular order:

BM: SS is afraid of his dad
Counselor: no, I have talk to SS and he is not afraid of his dad, he loves his, he loves his dad

Counselor: I have read over the documentation (H's)....
BM: don't believe everything you read in there
Counselor: no, there is too much consistency in it to be false
BM: silence
Counselor: there is a lot of ya'lls past that has not been let go of
H: I admit I did wrong when we were married I did her wrong I drank and she did wrong and she did me wrong she hit on me regularly with whatever she could get her hands on
Counselor: Dad have you ever apologized to BM?
H: yes with tears in my eyes I have
Cousnelor: well maybe you need to say the things you are sorry for maybe that is what she needs to hear

BM: I have no reasons why he should not spend more time with his dad
H: I will tell you why she says no because she is mad I want more time, BM are you mad?
BM: YES it makes me angry you want more time why now why not when he was younger
H: I have always wanted as much time as I can

BM: when SS is with me he is none of his business
Counselor: oh yes, that is SS dad and anything to do with SS is his business

Those were the best comments above. I am glad the counselor recognized that past had been let go of and her asking H to apologize to BM tells me that she thinks BM is the one who has not let go of it all cause she hurt H as well too but he has so moved on from all that. Then BM is talking all how our documentaion is crap and then the counselor says there is too much consistency in this to be made up. I loved that part. I loved her telling BM that anything to do with SS is his dad's business. They also talked about BM not following through with things with SS tutoring, discipline, etc...she gets started and gets tired of it. In march we(H, BM, and stepparents) all agree to do chore chart and rules. BM and H tell SS we gonna do this. We implement it the next visit with SS. BM has yet to do it. H calls her out on in counseling. Counselor ask her did you tell SS you were going to do it. BM says yes and counselor says real matter of a fact like you need to do what you say you are going to do then.

They talked about so much but only covered the goals part of the outline H took. Counselor commended him that she felt like he was really trying to work things out and be amicable and that writing down the things he did was great.She said she would read over rest of his outline and ask BM to do the same and they would discuss it next time. She also said that if BM and H did not find some middle ground that this would be long term problems for SS. H said it already does now. He worries about things he should not.

In all the counseling BM never says she is worried about SS or concerned about anything. She might agree with H on something but she never brings anything to the table it is all H bringing it to the table.

Anyway BM's face has done begin to swell like it does before she is ready to blow her top. When the session was over BM got up walked out and half way out the door she yelled out a real sarcastic THANK YOU! H shook the counselor hand and told her he appreciated her help and the help she was giving SS.

Next appt is next Monday!