DH decided not to play chicken with the skids summer camp and resigned to just picking them up from BM. (Previous blog)

Pick up Wednesday went fine. 

Wednesday night I asked the boys if riding in the van was an important part of camp for them (BM was insisting it was) SS13 said I do not care, SS11 said I like it and we have to be responsible for our little sister. 

I felt sorry for them. It frustrates me that BM puts responsibilities on them that they can’t possibly fulfill during DHs time. Throughout the school year (before she homeschooled) she kept trying to get DH to pick the skids up from her so that they could walk their little sister home. There were even times where SS11 would say I don’t want to come and I have to walk little sister home, mind you no BM would even be at the school to walk this little 5 year old girl home. She was obviously expecting SS to do it. 

She also tried it with buying SS13 a dog and saying he had to come early and look after his dog. 

So I said to SS, you know when it’s dad time it’s hard to be responsible for your little sister but your mom will make sure she’s looked after. 

He did not seem upset after. We made popcorn together and attempted to make caramel sauce (I failed miserably) but we had fun. 

SS 13 was down in the dumps from the beginning of pick up. Then he told DH about how awful she had been to them all week about camp and the van. And that she just bashed DH all week.

The next day DH and I went to pick them up from BM again after camp (he asked I come with) and I recorded the whole interaction. 

SS11 did not want to come. He stood outside the car saying I don’t want to and starting to cry. I don’t want to is all he would say. 

BM comes over and starts going on and keep in mind each point I make BM spent at least 3 minutes rambling on about. Talking about how she’s tried so hard to get him to come and the boys just fight so bad and at our house they have to share a room. How she’s trying to respect SS11 making his own decision but encouraging him to come. So can we please do some counselling. For everyone. Because this is so stressful and it doesn’t need to be. She hates that DH is email only. Why is DH forcing SS to do wed-wed when wed-sun was working fine (that was never a schedule for SS11). How poor SS 13 now has to listen to this and how we need counselling so SS13 can still come over and not be worried about us (me and DH) being mad that SS11 didn’t come. At this point I did smile and say no ones mad (I actually think SS13 prefers it because then he gets all the attention) then she went on about how that’s not being conveyed to the boys. 

Then BM starts in on everything that DH has done wrong in his relationship with SS. She said one thing SS was still upset about, and talks about every week, is that nothing was done for his birthday. Both DH and I say SS we had a party, balloons, family, cake, presents. Then SS says well ya but I had to wait like a week for it (well ya SS that’s what happens when you don’t show up for visation when the party was first planned). 

Then DH says come on get in the car and we’ll talk about this later. BM cuts off SSs response and says it really hurts him because too many times you say that and don’t talk to him. 

There was more but this is getting long. 

Then Bm starts in about how all the kids are important, my BS and her two younger. And she would never tell them BS wasn’t important. And she can’t believe we would tell them getting younger sis off the bus wasn’t important or their responsibility. 

At this point I was sick of listening, and sick of DH just taking it all. She stand there talking about getting along after a whole week of hateful emails. And obviously this comment was directed at me, as it was me that had basically said that. 

Me: not when it’s not your time

BM: it is their time I booked this camp

Me: yes and half of it is on DHs time

BM: this was planned 2 months ago and agreed on blah blah blah 

Me: (while BM is still talking) that’s hilarious 

(DH already dealt with her all week in emails about this and the fact that he knew nothing and agreed to nothing)

BM: spew about how we better work on our relationship because dealing with an ex is frustrating 

Me: it sure is

BM: and then a new partner comes in with their own opinion 

Me: it affects all our lives 

BM: and we need counselling so we can not say things are hilarious when it comes to him standing here crying at the side of the road

Me: excuse me did I say that him crying was hilarious

Bm: now your spinning my words, your a trip 

What I learnt: don’t talk to skids or BM ..ever 

I’m just still feeling the adrenaline and upset with myself that I let her suck me in. I was trying so hard not to say anything. 

What I wish I did was at the beginning of the whole rant said this is not the time or place let’s go.