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SS stands up to BM... Highlights of the conversation

StepG's picture

We have a mediation date set for March 23rd in our quest to get SS 50/50 time. SS school was out Friday and Monday - teacher inservice and President Day. It was our weekend so our time was extended to both of those days. We got to pick SS up Thursday night and H and BM have talk about this again.

Here's the highlights:

BM: you only trying to get him more so you do not have to pay child support
H: I will have to pay even with 50/50 I do not care about the money only being with SS
BM: SS says he wants to stay with me
H: SS said just last week he wants to play footballs when he gets to stay more
BM: no he jus tells you that he does not mean it he wants to be with me
H: SS get out of the car and come here
SS: yes Dad?
H: your mom says you want to stay with her and not see me you tell me you want to see me more we both love you and want what best for you so tell us how you feel
SS: hangs his head and mumbles
BM: son speak up tells us how you feel
SS: mumbles
H: son look up and tell us we both love
BM: nobody is going to be mad
SS: looks at BM and says I want to see my dad more I want to stay week with him week with you mom
BM: he is just confused he does not know what he wants
H: I am not taking him from you I just want 4 more days a month
BM: well he has a little brother here who he does not need to be away from week at a time
H: that is is half brother...
BM: cuts H off with That is still his brother
H: yes but I am his daddy! is little brother going to set SS down and give him words of wisdom and prepare him for life... I don't think so!
BM: says nothing
BM: ya'll think I am awful for living off my mom's inheritance and getting food stamps(insert mental image of chewing the nails on one hand and smoking cigarette with the other) but I tell you what I would get back on foods stamps again in a heartbeat if I could
BM: you are not going to get everything you want
H: all I want is the time what do you want? what are you talking about?
BM: still knawing her nails and smoking - well like the tax deduction every other year that is not fair
H: you can have the tax deduction you have gotten it every year of his life thus far I do not care about the money
BM: you would fight this if you were me
H: I would never fight to keep ss away from you hell I had to spend $75 with the lawyer just to see him on my birthday because you were being difficult and it stated in papers it was my day.
BM: well you are the stupid one who is doing this I was fine with the way it was
H: well I am taking it to the end I want the time with my son and that is all that matters
BM: it is your and StepG fault that we cannot take a vacation
H: how? you have him more than we do
BM: cause you get him one day a week
SS: dad we got to go get in the car I need my rest for our day tomorrow
BM: walks in house slams door does not tell SS bye that he loves him or nothing

we get in car H tells SS he is proud for standing up and telling how he feels(ususally SS will take BM side in fear of her) SS yes dad I was scared but now I am glad I said it. SS says he will just love on her if she gets mad at him and cries. SS said she was crying this afternoon when she picked him up from school(which that pisses me off why do that to your kid?)

So we are the ones that it is all about money...in the above conversation you can see that she is the one concerned with the money i.e. the tax deductions, the reduction in child support

So yeah for SS saying what he felt to his mom. We had a great weekend. BM called to wish SS Happy Valentine Day in which she was so rude and smart ass to him on the phone and he was all I love you Mom happy valentine day to you. Last night when we dropped him off she did not speak to SS at all not a hug, kiss, i missed you, i love you nothing. When H walked out the door he said SS had look on his face like he we go dad..

pray for my SS to be strong but most of all pray for his mom to open her heart and love her son more that she hates his dad. BM not scared of SS having another woman me in his life her competition his SS dad she want SS to hate his dad the way she does but he doesn't and that kills her!

Comments

MikeBrady's picture

Yeah, it's a hard thing when a child has to make such a major decision. But the reality is that it is up to the child to make that decision. It's not easy, but it's the fair thing to do. Kudos to SS for saying how he really feels. Even more Kudos to your H for lettin' SS know that he loves him NO MATTER WHAT THE DECISION IS!!!!!

"Being a step-parent is a lesson in humility & passivity....Yeah, I think that's a class I'm gonna SKIP!!!!" :0)

Anon2009's picture

and tell him how proud of him you are for saying how he feels. I will pray for him, most definitely. No kid should be subjected to that. You and DH need to continue to be there for him because with a BM like that he'll need all the love & support he can possible get.