My DH has had my SS4 1/2 biweekly since he and BM split when SS was 1 1/2. I have been in DH and SS life since SS was 2. BM has ALWAYS had a problem with me, be it saying I was going to MURDER my SS and BS from postpartum depression (because it's 'Very common'), or screaming at my SS the first time he called me mom in front of her (something he started doing on his own but hasn't done since) amongst MANY other not so sane things...

BM has lived her life by having men take care of her, and there for my SS. Since my DH and her broke up, she has moved 9 (soon to be 10) times. The last guy she was with (they broke up recently), she moved in with him on a week we had my SS, my SS didn't know they were moving or that she had broken up with the guy she was seeing previously (she's a fast worker...).

Since this last brake up and move, my SS has been having some behavioral issues; throwing fits for VERY little things, HUGE attitude, screaming at us, and even started wetting the bed at night (he has had dry nights for 2 years). BM has had problems with his behavior also, she even wrote my DH a email asking for advice on how to handle these problems.

My DH told her when they broke up that she needed to find a place for her and my SS so they could work there own things out with out having to worry about her relationship problems, she agreed. He also told her that if she puts my SS in this sort of situation again 'there will be problems' meaning he was going to bring her a** to court...

BM is now trying to 'work things out' with this last BF of hers... and she's dragging my SS right through the middle of it. My DH advised her not to bring my SS on her 'dates' with this guy, to wait till her weeks w/o him. Her response was a huge line of cussing and calling my DH a hypocrite.

I understand I don't really have a say in any of it so I try to keep my mouth shut and be supportive of my DH. But I'm sooooo sick of it!

My DH and BM were never married, there for my DH has no paper claim on my SS. We have talked to a lawyer about getting something #ANYTHING!# but they said that since we have been doing this biweekly thing for so long, it was kinda a common law type situation where if she tried to pull something and not let us see my SS, the court would rule in our flavor because by allowing this arrangement to go on for this long, she agrees with it.

BUT because she's the mother, she has the POA...

School age is coming up and we REALLY want him to go to school here. She has said absolutely not, even though she lives in a VERY crappy school district and with all her moving, who knows if she'll even be in the same school district for more then a year! I really want my DH to start the paper work process of becoming POA now but he wants to wait. HELP! I don't want to be pushy, but I don't trust her to do what's best for my SS, because she hasn't in the past and isn't now! How can I convey my feelings to my DH w/o stepping on toes. I understand that sometimes it's better to just let BM have her way, or think she's getting her way, because it's way easier to deal with her then, but I very much so doubt that will be the case with this. I don't know if he thinks she will grow up and realize what she is doing has a HUGE effect on he son but I don't want to wait to find out.

I'm just really sick of not having a say but having to deal with the hurt it causes my family