Long story short, we had ss full time for five years before taking her to court. We took her to court for legal custody, to have his name changed and my dh's name added to the birth certificate (another man's name was on it). The court order says that she should pay 150 EOW in support. She paid that the first week and in over five years has given us somewhere around 1,000 total. That being said she is behind thousands and thousands. She lives in another state and though she sees her son EOW, for five years she has been saying she can't pay...Of course, cigarettes, tanning, car, tattoos, etc. are magically paid for, but she couldn't show any attempt at regularly supporting her child whatsoever. We recently filed to have our state take over the effort to go after her for support. Yes, I know we (DH) waited a long time. We haven't heard from them yet...but looking at their website, it sounds like out of state cases are the toughest. Great. Wondering if that was a mistake. Okay, here it comes....at my wit's end with a fore mentioned ss...almost 16 thinks he knows it all..hates me...torments my other two kids...I have been discussing the possibility of sending him back to his mother. Now I don't know how serious I am...sometimes I think I'm just upset over his behavior. But I look at how he makes life in this house very tough and I feel like I've put in my time. However, I'm quite certain that if we did send him back to his BM, she would 100% go after us for support despite the 15,000 plus she owes us, I'm sure she'd get it as it's for the kid. But if we had to pay according to the state's CS calculator, we would no longer be able to afford our mortgage and our other two kids would be where..out on the street? The whole thing stinks. I guess that's not an option...it just gets so hard being a FT SM with custody and no help either parenting wise or financially from BM. Any advice? Please be kind, I'm feeling quite sensitive lately. I am not a horrible person..just overwhelmed at this step parenting nightmare!!! :?