I need advice in regards to dealing with SS; violence???
My DH and I managed to work through some of our issues. I found out I was pregnant, which was what we wanted and the issues with the middle SS seem to be getting worse. I am due in 4 weeks.
I need some advice in regards to the SS and some comments that he has made to me, not in the presence of my husband. They scare me.
A few months ago I was in the car taxiing them around and the SS asks what a will is. As I tried to give him a brief explanation he says out of the blue something in effect of I think about you being dead or about killing you....
Several weeks later he tells me, after he is being punished that "he hates me". The next day it's "that's why I don't want you here"....
The child is 12. He has continued to be very disrespectful and rude, hateful.
Last week he once again out of the blue makes another comment that really freaked me out.... "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt the baby".... what 12 yo child in their right mind makes statements like this.....
On top of it I hear him in the kitchen telling his older brother that he's going to "slit his throat".
All of this is coming from a kid that has pulled a knife and went to his room and threatened to hurt himself (2 summers ago). Keep in mind their BM committted suicide.
I have tried talking to my DH about my concerns, and my delivery quite frankly sucks. I don't know what to do or where to turn or who to talk to . I am fearful of what this 12 yo might be capable of. I mean if he hates me as much as he says then am I abnormal being concerned with him being around my baby? My husband tells me I'm blowing things out of proportion. I am concerned. Please help me. I am miserable dealing with him and fearful.
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He needs major, major
He needs major, major counseling. Probably he needs to be committed to get that counseling and you need to RUN FAR AWAY before this kid hurts you, your baby or someone else in the house.
Generally, people don't take these threats seriously because it's "just a kid" saying them and then someone ends up dead and everyones lives are ruined because no one took the steps to correct it. DO IT NOW! Tell EVERYONE. Call the cops, call CPS, call EVERYONE. Tell them the kid is threatening to kill people in the family - get him help and GET OUT.
I appreciate the honesty. I
I appreciate the honesty. I feel like I know what needs to happen, but when I confront my DH it gets blown off as "complaining about his kids". It is quite disturbing to me and even more so that my DH blows it off. The SS was in counseling and was removed by my DH. The problem is he is very manipulative and know just what to say to keep himself out of trouble. My DH doesn't see this. I feel bad b/c I sort of knew what I was getting myself into in regards to being a SM, but this is too much. My husband and I have been on the verge of divorce b/c of the issues I have with this kid. And my DH tells me that I need counseling.
Never allow your baby around
Never allow your baby around this kd and watch your back.
Considering background info
Considering background info provided I can immagine he is a very angry teen. I can relate to that. However no matter how mean and hateful I was I never once even for an instant would have thought or verbalized a thought about causing anyone physical harm or death. I didnt fantasize about it, and I certainly didnt wish it. This...is alarming. It's not normal. Unless you abuse this child, or molest him his hate for you is beyond the normal hate of a "meddling SM". Does he believe mom killed herself because of you? That is really the only logical reason I can see for his hatred. At least if the reason he hated you was logical you would know he is just really hurt and angry....if there is no logic to it and he just HATES....then you are in even more danger. He cant rationalize his feelings. The trigger isnt flipping between right and wrong. Your DH is in denial because this is his child and he wants it to just "go away". Leaving and forcing your DH to deal with it will probably be the only way this kid will get help, and it will ensure you and your babies safety. Please leave if your DH does not get his head on straight and do what needs to be done.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your insight and I appreciate all of the advice. I do not abuse the child and his father has yet to have the talk with SS's about their mother's death. She committed suicide 4 1/2 years ago. He is a master manipulator and I'm fed up. I have made an appointment with a counselor in an effort to effectively address how to handle this situation, but also to get this documented somewhere. I do love my husband so, but I am fearful of this child and I don't want to raise my baby around him.