all BM's arent alike....
Ok so I'm a BM in addition to being a SM, what I don't understand is why some of those BM's out there are SO fuckin insane!!! My BM tries to control my FDH in every way possible and attacks ME when she's pissed to get to FDH.... WTF?! I am far from the phsyco BM I could give a shit less what my ex does and I would never try to interfear in his current relationship. Why is it that some of these BM's are so fucking stuck on ruining their ex's lives??? Just curious.
- tugofwar's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
JEALOUS! Jealous that he
JEALOUS! Jealous that he found something better and is happy.
I too am a BM and SM. My
I too am a BM and SM. My daughters had a stepmom also and I gave them permission to love her, I told my girls they had 2 moms, I expected them to mind and respect her, I gave her permission to disapline them and if they complained I nver sided with the girls, she never attacked me and I never attacked her.
My husband's ex was a total and complete nightmare. I tried to befriend her with the same thinking I had with my ex's wife, she could not be befriended and she continued to cause trouble.....21 years of trash with this psycho woman. For her I think she felt scared that she was going to lose her boys to me as I ws the one raising them, husband had full custody.
I think too it's really a large reflection on our own individual personalities and how we relate to people in general. I think these women who are used to having their ways with their fits and demands have learned it works for them and they continue to do it to control their situations.
This type of behavior and way of thinking is not only selfish but very damaging to the child.
You ROCK! I am in a similar
You ROCK! I am in a similar situation with my daughter and her SM. I have always encouraged my daughter to have a loving relationship with her SM. They text each other back and forth, SM sends her sweet little pics of her little brother and is always just so sweet with her. SM doesn't over-indulge or anything crazy like she's a pushover or anything, she's just a genuinely sweet lady. SM also has kids from a previous marriage and all the kids are around the same age..with the exception of the new little brother, so she knows how kids can be. It's gotten to where I only deal with SM when it comes to visits (they live 5 hours away, so the visits aren't as often as daughter would like). exH is still a PITA, but his wife is a doll!!!
I've said many times...I wish we could all have BM's that are at least a little nice. I would settle with a BM that, in the least, tries to teach her kids morals!!!
I’m a BM and a SM and I know
I’m a BM and a SM and I know that my ex says the same thing – that I’m a psycho BM. And I think I probably was UNTIL he got married again. From my point of view: he refused to pay child support (he was in another country) , he harassed me non-stop by phone, post & email, he tried and nearly succeeded in alienating my children from me during visits and he bad mouthed me to everyone I knew through his family (who live in this country). Hell yes, I fought back.
When he got married again, his wife shamed him into finally paying some child support, she was good to my kids when they visited and could have a civil conversation with me. My kids liked her and got on well and that made me happy. Everything calmed down – see I can deal reasonably with people who behave like human beings. Sadly he alienated both her kids and she left him. My kids still keep in touch with her and she and I occasionally exchange hello’s through them. Since she divorced him, I have no contact with him and neither does one of my children. But I’m still the BM from hell?
I’m luckyish with my new dh ex – she is stupid and supremely selfish but she is more interested in her own "wonderful" life than our sad and boring (read: responsible) life. Her stupidity does often cause problems but the kids are teenagers now so only a few more years...
Another BM and SM here. My
Another BM and SM here. My kids won the stepmother lottery. I couldn't have picked a better "other mother" for my kids. She is wonderful! My kids are blessed to have four parents who adore them and only want the very best for them.
My husband's ex wife is a complete nutcase. She tried for years to prevent any relationship between me and my stepkids. It was pretty obvious that she failed when they decided to move in with us. What really kills her is that my husband is gone...as in out of the country gone...a whole lot of the time. They didn't really decide to move in with dad. They chose to move in with me! Talk about Karma!
My exH is like yours Spunk,
My exH is like yours Spunk, he emails me and ask if I miss him yet, he did this just yesterday, Yet he left me 2 yrs ago to move in with his lover, who he still lives with to this day. She is good to my daughter and my daughter likes her, I personally, due to obvious reasons, dont want to be her friend or even friendly, but I do not discourage my daughter6 from having a relationship with her. As for my exH, I think I actually like the SM better than him. Thats just not right to try to keep a fire lit and I definitely dont encourage him. I always change the subject to our daughter or just dont answer. My BF's ex is a looney one too. Neither one of us can figure out why they (the ex's) think they are all that , that we would run back to them after all they have done. BF's ex actually texted him last week that she would get rid of her man if he (BF) would just "say the word"
I think I attract wackjobs like moths to a flame..........
Ha hahaha, lmao, you do have
Ha hahaha, lmao, you do have a way with words
I am a BM and SM. And I could
I am a BM and SM. And I could totally understand the psycho BM stemming from infidelity with the person the dad left you for.
Unfortunately, my skids' BM is the one who was unfaithful but STILL psycho!
I just wanted to congratulate
I just wanted to congratulate you Spunki. It really does take a lot as a human being to overcome that kind of treatment, but to then go even further and encourage your kids to accept/like/love the SM...that's grace, my friend! You are truly an awesome mom and I really hope that the kids, exH and SM know how truly lucky they all are!!
You are so right when you say that the kids don't need to know the gory details. I can speak from experience...the kids may not remember every little thing that you (as a mom) do for them, but they will remember the bad language, name calling and hateful behavior. You chose the high road and your kids will be better off for it!
Way to go!!!
Most likely because you are
Most likely because you are happy and in a relationship...you aren't constantly worried about your exH and his relationships because of trying to compare your situation to his. At least that's my theory. If the BM in my situation was happy and in a solid, stable relationship, I don't think she'd be as bad as she is.