I am so sick of arguments about kids. It's actually been a while since we've argued about skids, but If I don't say the exact right thing, I'm "only saying negative things about the kids" or, "always pushing back" on what DH says. I just want to say F it and run away. I'm sitting here in tears, defeated. 

Skids came by us on Mon. SD13 immediately got sick, and SS16 had told DH he had to work "every day this week". DH woke up on Tuesday at 2pm and came downstairs, but SS wasn't even awake yet (usually he leaves for work at 12:30). DH said, doesn't SS work today? I said, IDK, I thought he told you he had to work every day. So DH text SS, SS text his schedule back, and my mistake was asking DH if he had to work. But I wanted to know so I can plan if I'm making dinner for everyone or not.  DH said, no, he has off today and tomorrow, then he works Thurs.-Mon. I said, so he doesn't work every day.... DH makes a face and says in a tone, IDK TrueNorth, I guess not, but he works 40hrs the rest of the week. Ok...first of all, I never said anything about how much he's working, my point was that he completely exaggerated or even lied to DH previously by saying he worked every day. I said, the 40hrs is between this week and next week- (uneccessaryily, yes, but now he's somehow irritated at me for pointing out SS wasn't in fact working every day, and now DH is trying to act as if I was insinuating SS wasn't working enough, so had to defend SS by saying he is working 40hrs this week- when that's not even true, it's his 2-week schedule and he will have most of next week off). That was the end of that convo, but then this morning:

DH says, "SD is still sick- She has a sore throat and is nauseaus, which is a weird combination". I agree and suggest the possibility that she may not know what nauseaus really means, since she literally says she's nauseaus any time she has any symptom of sickness (at least once a month, and on her period). He's like, well it means she's sick to her stomach. I said, I know what nauseaus means, but it's possible she doesn't understand what the word means, so maybe she's telling us the wrong symptoms. She happens to come downstairs then and he asks if she knows what it means- she said it feels like she has to throw up, goes back upstairs. DH says snarkily "I guess she knows what it means". I look at him and said, Oh so I'm the bad guy for suggesting it's possible she doesn't know what it means? He's like, you just always have to push back on anything I say about the kids. You always have to push or take the opposite stance. I said, YOU are the one who said it was a weird combo, I agreed, and pointed out that she is nauseous every time, which yes, that's odd, so you asked her, she knows what it means, good, end of story! But you just want to make me the bad guy sooo bad, just harassing your poor kids! He said, I wasn't trying to start a fight, I'm just saying it's a pattern, you had to push about SS's schedule too. I said, you mean when YOU asked ME if he had to work? And he's the one who exaggerated, but of course I'm wrong for confirming that he did in fact exaggerate? Heaven forbid I say something that might be construed as even remotely negative about your Precious SS! He then tried to recite what I said in our convo about SS's work schedule, except added a tone I didn't have and a whole extra sentence that I never said, just to make me sound worse. I'm like, I didn't say that and you know it. I said sarcastically, I just love fighting about kids. He said, you can't admit that you say anything wrong. I said I don't say everything right and I admit that, but you get so defensive and if I don't say something exactly the right way you get mad- I don't need you pointing out every single thing that I say that isn't exactly the way you want it. I know you are just such a perfect parent and say allll the right things. I feel like it's me against skids when DH points out things I say that he doesn't like, but everything skids do or say is fine. 

Going forward, if he says anything about a skid I just want to nod and say Mmmmm when a response is necessary. I don't even want to have conversations with DH about skids because I obviously don't handle it to his liking. I honestly just feel so defeated and like I completely suck at being a SM- I do not have the patience or get the joy from kids that others do. I care about skids and treat them well, ask about their life and they know they can always come to me with problems (and they do). I do want the best for them, but it just feels like it's not enough because I struggle so much, am mostly annoyed and exhausted by kid behavior, and just do not enjoy them, so I'm failing.  

 Why is this so F'ng hard??