I don't understand...
DH's daughter has his last name, I don't get it. DH and ex gf were never married, it was a barely couple of month long relationship, not a happy one, she told him she was on bc, condom broke, she cheated, then came and told him she was pregnant after they broke up, She wasn't even positive he was the father, he said he didn't want her to have it, she had it anyhow. Since having the child, she has had more than her fair share of men in and out of her place of residence.
She knew when she had the kid that she was going to live with her. She knew that DH and her had no prayer of getting back together. So why would she slap DH's last name on the birth certificate? Wouldn't you think she would want child to have her last name so they atleast share that? Wouldn't you think that she feels foolish when the man she's seeing, her child, and herself all have different last names?
- tofurkey's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Sad but very true! However,
Sad but very true! However, if he hasn't had a DNA test he should especially since you are saying that she has a revolving door and no lock and key to her property between her legs!
DNA!!! Right away! DNA!!! Right away!!! (cheering!!!)
I think this is a very
I think this is a very complex issue here that you are tackling.
Was a DNA test ever done to prove that SD is DH's? If there hasn't been, DH should consider getting one. If there has been one and SD is indeed his, then it's BM's right to give her DH's last name, and it's SD's right to have his last name. Does SD look like DH?
I think that moms should be able to give their children their last names or the last names of their fathers. I remember when Bridget Moynahan had her son, some people objected to her giving him her last name. Personally, I don't see a problem with it. He lives with her. Likewise, I don't have a problem with a mom giving her child the father's last name. If SD is indeed DH's, she has the right to carry her father's name.
"I hope she doesn't know
"I hope she doesn't know about any of what you write or that it is "just" you and not dh opposed to sharing a last name with her."
I guess I would be a liar if I said that assumption didn't offend me a bit. Yes, I bring the 6 year old over to the computer and read off to her what I write on here, everytime. Actually I come on here to vent and to get people's opinions on things because I don't say anything negative to this kid. I'm a human with flaws, but i'm not a beast. I don't sink to the BM's level of filling a child's head with lies and try to turn her against the people in her life.
And it's not "just" me, I never said it was "just" me. Dh was just as bewildered as me as to why BM would choose not to give her her last name, as she as her primary.
Where I live, my DH had to
Where I live, my DH had to sign papers saying he was the father before placing him on the birth certificate and giving DD his last name. This was before we were married. I still have my DD's hospital items with my then last name on them. I think if I knew for sure, such as DNA, or was with no one else, I would want my child to have their father's last name so they could have that connection with their father. I feel that most mothers and children will have a strong connection a lot of times due to carrying said child. She may have had ill will when doing such but who knows. I don't know this person. I believe BM here kept having babies, even though she was supposed to be on BC so she could trap DH even more.
My mom found out she was pregnant when she was 23 to my sister by her boyfriend. It was not until after that she found out the father was married. My mom went through pregnancy, and an emergency C-Section without any help, while her father was initiated into a Biker club. Where was DNA back then when my mom struggled so hard trying to raise two girls by herself? My sister's BF never acknowledged her until she was 11 years old. Then all the sudden he wanted something to do with her once in awhile, maybe 3-4 times her whole life.
I think this is a very common
I think this is a very common circumstance and totally depends on how the person has been raised and the norm in that person's life. For example, my friend dated a guy for 2 months, and they broke up around the time she discovered she was pregnant. She never thought twice about having her daughter have his last name, although I questioned it and thought that if I were in that situation, I would have it be my last name since I woudl be the custodial parent and we were not together whatsoever.
For another example of a different story: my fiance and BM were on the verge of break-up when she found out she was pregnant. They stayed togehter, talked about marriage, etc. They were trying to make it work. When their son was born, it was a huge fight because DF thought he should have his last name, and BM said no. She said that if they got married that they could change the name. This just spells out for me that she was totally not thinking their relationship would last very long (which it only lasted a few months longer).
I think it just depends on the people involved and their opinions on how to deal with it, and there's not really a right or wrong way to do it, whether you're "together" or not.