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Stick's Blog

Fleas - Long, but worth it, I think... (SoVerySad - This is the blog that you inspired me to look up and write!)

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Submitted by Stick on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 10:17am

I joined the website "Daughters of Narcisisstic Mothers" to see if I could get any information to help SD cope with some of her mother's behaviors, as well as to see if DH and my suspicions are right about BM. They have been very gracious and welcoming to me there. I feel very lucky to have been able to have their support when we took SD low contact with her mom. Anyway, I just came across this post and it was FANTASTIC. It was written by "Light" who is just so knowledgeable - and sweet and friendly!

This site goes through cycles..

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Submitted by Stick on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 4:46pm

We have the members tearing each other apart cycle...

The I Hate My DH / BF cycle

and the

I Hate My Skid and everything about them cycle. Usually this particular cycle leads to the members tearing each other apart phase.

The only real constant is the I blame BM for the majority of my issues!!

I think it's curious. And for the record, I think we are in a "I hate my skid" phase.

Are we all on the same rag? or Am I way off base?

BM thinks that everything is "Fine" and her daughter "loves her"....

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Submitted by Stick on Wed, 01/20/2010 - 2:19pm

Her and her daughter had a screaming fest at each other just 3-4 nights ago... where BM got off the phone because she was too upset and had to be consoled and SD was lying on the floor in a puddle.

DH told BM how much she hurt her daughter. And her response? "She's FINE and SHE LOVES ME. Everything is fine . You are turning her away from me."

Hmmm.... the ability to live in denial must be a wonderful thing. I wish I had it.

In Honor Of Today - And then the fight started...

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Submitted by Stick on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 8:44pm

How Fights Get Started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started....

******************************************

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

Emotional Blackmail - Long, I think BM is a Sufferer and Self-punisher.

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Submitted by Stick on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 12:12am

Due to my recent blog and some very helpful advice, I did paraphrase some of the following to SD to give her some insight into emotional blackmail, her part in emotional blackmail (accepting the behavior), as well as how to not take it anymore, or move past it.

I hate BM. I have sat thru this weekend SEETHING.

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Submitted by Stick on Mon, 01/18/2010 - 2:05pm

It's nothing drastic like what some women go through on here. But every time I start to write it I just get PISSED that BM is so self centered and so completely oblivious to only her and her family's needs, and will alienate and hurt SD.

It's a systematic guilt trip on SD from BM, and all members of her family.

The art of self-sabotage...

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Submitted by Stick on Fri, 01/15/2010 - 8:18am

Belle's Blog about the Other Woman - whether she be a SM, or just the Other Woman, and the responses to it got me thinking for a bunch of various reasons.

One of the things it led me to though was the art of self-sabotage.

You know... when you do something purposefully destructive to yourself, your life, your psyche, your relationship.... because it is easier or more of a relief to just do it, rather than take the harder road of self-restraint, or discovery, or whatever the case may be.

OT - Our advice on Marriage and Relationships.

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Submitted by Stick on Sun, 01/03/2010 - 7:58pm

Recently, a member's husband expressed some concern about their "commitment" to online networking and support.

My own husband, looks at my addiction (!) to this site, as somewhat funny. BUT he is very adamant about what he thinks is right and wrong with posting here / blogging here / reading here all the time. He does get concerned with some of the things I tell him. He agrees with a lot, but he gets concerned a lot.

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