sterlingsilver's Blog
staying disengaged even tho DH has cancer and ss still needs an adult
Unfortunately with DH having cancer I have to engage a bit more. Also have to drive ss16 to school b/c we just moved out of district. But I am trying to be creative in ways to still remain disengaged, like the car leaves at 6:50 ready or not. I am doing all the cooking but only make food for all to eat and no special orders. If DH wants to give his meat to ss that's fine but I make enough for everyone and no more special extra meat orders, especially if he won't eat his vegies. I am trying to disengage from the step dog but he gets water and I remind DH to feed him.
OT - family shunning due to marriage to DH
My two younger sisters who are 8 and 9 years younger then me have not spoken to me and have blocked me from FB, email, phone, etc, since I married DH. They tried talking me out of marrying him (for obvious reasons with his kids and how they've treated me) but I went ahead and married him. My older sis came to my wedding but the younger two disowned me. They didn't disown older sis for coming here, just me.
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step parent = teacher
Something just popped into my head this morning and it came there b/c of a comment my 102 yr old client said to me the other day. She was a teacher for 40 yrs and she said she always liked teaching but was always happy to send the kids home at the end of the day and have weekends free. It suddenly dawned on me that step parenting is like being a teacher who cannot send the kid(s) home. At least in my case b/c we've had ss16 full time, I very, very rarely get a break. And since the skids aren't our own, it really is like being a teacher with no breaks. Depressing isn't it?
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a nice reprieve
I have had my bs17 home for a couple days from college and ss16 gone to his Grandma's for the weekend, so I have had a very well deserved reprieve. On Friday I shut ss16's door tightly and it was nice to not have him skulking around all weekend or needing to be driven here and there. This all made having bs17 over for a visit so much nicer b/c I could concentrate on "spoiling" my boys without feeling guilty about leaving ss out.
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am I honestly gonna make it through DH's cancer? I'm tired
If you have read my previous posts you'll see we just recently moved into our new place. It's about half an hour from both bs15 and ss16's schools. I have a client that I work with every morning from right after I drop the boys off until noon and then 2-3 days a week I work with another client from noonish til 4pm.
I also work Saturdays and a couple evening shifts, but during the week is when the boy's school schedule is critical and that is what is already starting to break down.
Worried and fretting
Not too worried but somewhat concerned b/c xh didn't show up to pick up bs15 last evening for his eow visit. I had written him and email last weekend saying we were moving and gave him the addy and then on wed and thurs asked him to please pick bs up from school on Friday b/c I am working. I asked him to plz respond asap so I can arrange my schedule if he can't.
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update on our move
Well we got moved in to our new place. It was a lot of work. I hate moving. Ss16 finally stepped up and helped very well on Sunday. Ss19 never did show up but another of dh's football kids showed up and helped with the heaviest lifting but then had to go back to work. A neighbor also helped out a lot. I was so beat by Sunday evening I just crashed. I had to work all of Monday but had the afternoon off today! Yesterday Dh ended up in the hospital with an almost stroke. He went in for a ctscan and they found a clot making it's way in his neck, so doc called him to come in asap.
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So proud of my son - he made my Mother's Day special
So yesterday and today are moving days. Yesterday ss19 and ss16 did not show up to help move. Dh is vomiting so much he had to bail, so it was just bs15 and me to so all the work. Well I have to tell you that bs15 sure came into his own, he just worked like a slow plodding mule ALLLL day. He did not complain, he just picked up and put into truck all day and he did everything I asked of him with not complaint. Twice I called an hour break and he ate lunch the first break and took a cold shower the second break and then back at it.
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somethings gotta give (quick update)
Just a quick update from my post yesterday! We got the rental and the guy wants to privately sell and so we signed a contract for rental for 3 months and then after that we start paying a portion of rent for a down payment in two years and then cash him out. He is a great guy and this is his moms house he has to get rid of b/c it's costing him money. It's a beautiful rambler with 3 bedrooms and 2 full baths on a wooded acre up against a large green belt. There is a 5 acre community beach park just 4 blocks down the road we can use for free with clamming, crabbing and oystering for free!
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somethings gotta give
This has been one of the worst months for me. We were supposed to close on a house in March, it didn't close, so then in April, it didn't close b/c the underwriter then wanted one more month's worth of paystubs from me (the loan is completely on me b/c of dh's bad credit - long story that's related to bm and the crap she pulled on dh when they divorced sticking him with all their credit card debt by making it into back child support and then he had a motorcycle accident w/o insurance for the 1st day and it rung up a 40k bill we haven't paid yet).
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