HI everyone,
This is my first posting. I am new to the step-parenting stuff and all the issues that blending families brings. I have not biological children of my own, but a SS10 who lives with his father/me half the time. We recently transitioned from "dating" to getting engaged and beginning to be as a family together and my partner and I have never fought more!
I do not agree with all of this parenting decisions (e.g. co-sleeping with his son until about 6 months ago, getting in bed with him every night to read until his son falls asleep, or never having left his son with a babysitter, thus requiring that we take him to all adult functions with us). He is a wonderful, loving, and very involved father-- too involved at his son's age if you ask me!
I struggle b/c I feel like I am supposed to not have needs, not want any of his focus, etc. in the time his son is with us. I want him to help his son be more independent instead of carrying his bags/backpack, packing up his stuff, combing his hair when he gets out of the shower, etc. I mean this is a kid who is about to go through puberty with early acne!
My SS is a good kids, largely. He is smart and interesting. He is also used to a lot of attention and assumes he will be treated like an adult, and sometimes I get annoyed b/c I want to have a conversation with his dad that he isn't a part of. I want my partner to stop jumping at ever request he makes. I sometimes with he weren't there, and that makes me feel terrible.
Do you ever stop getting annoyed? There are times the 3 of us are great and comfortable and happy together. But sometimes I just want my partner, I get sick of watching the way they interact, and I feel so alone and a bit lost (I moved into their place; we just got rid of some "bachelor" furniture and are slowly making it a bit mine).
I'll leave it at this for now-- the BM is an entire other issue, our hope to have our own child in a year or two. I'll just start with this stuff.