BM is Such A Big "B"
Seriously, that women is such a bitch. EVERY FREAKING TIME it's the weekend to get SD, she pulls some crap. She can never be anywhere on time, can't give directions, and always has something going on. It's never just easy.
So, today she tells SO that he has to get SD from another city (different from the one we work in, and not even the one we live in our she lives in) and says a specific time. She has left SD with people "and they have plans." She KNOWS that SO works, and that SO picks up my DD from school everyday and then picks me up from work.
She did give SO the number where SD is. I told him he should call them and explain the situation. It's someone in her family and her family doesn't really like her (according to BM) and they have to know she's crazy, disorganized, always late, etc. I told him to tell them, "I'm really sorry and will come as soon as I can, but BM knows that I work until X and that I have to pick up DD and me." That way, if they are inconvenienced, it's put on BM because she KNOWS his schedule, ya know?
I guess I can try and look on the positive which is that she's not trying to prevent the visitation. Maybe she really DID talk to an attorney this time. }:)
I still hate her. And I hate that SO lets it put him in a funky mood. He's all, "That's unfair to me, as usual." I told him to suck it up and that from now until the next hearing, he just needs to suck it up and try to cooperate with her. Sure, it's a total PIA, but it is what it is. Her intention is to screw with him in every way possible, so the more he lets her get to him, the more she wins.
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I totally understand where
I totally understand where you are coming from. Every Friday the BM starts stuff with my H. He is suppose to drop off SS11 at her place but every Friday she is somewhere different. I really don't understand why she can't just pick SS11 up from school. It's very frustrating to try to plan anything else because you never know where she's going to be.
that is an AMAZING idea. I
that is an AMAZING idea. I never thought about using the substation as the designated meet up spot. We use the church, where the church supervisors have a copy of the court order. BM has attempted to take SS3 out of daycare earlier than ordered time (she attempted to sneak him out without anyone seeing)... and has also cursed out the people at the church when she was on a "drug" day. However with the new order, if she appears drugged or acts in an unsafe manner, the church daycare does not have to release SS3 and instead can call the police to report her behavior.
...Being a SM is such hard work and you have to bite your tongue everytime.
This is the main problem I
This is the main problem I have with the judge -- he adamantly refused to put anything in about drop-off's or pick-up's. So, there is nothing that we can use to "force" BM to comply with where they are. The only thing that SO can press is the time.
BM only just started allowing visitation again and SO has basically just been going where ever she tells him. If he doesn't she won't bring SD and then he has to go through the hassle of calling the police, waiting for them to show up on a Friday night, etc.
In this case, he called the person who has SD and I guess she's a big bitch too because she didn't answer his calls or respond to his text message. That seems like such a simple common courtesy -- to touch base with someone if you are exchanging a child with them!
And BM has the audacity to act like SO is an unreasonable jerk and
whine about how he's always angry and she can't communiate with him. It's unreal to me that an adult expects the world to revolve around her and has no appreciation that anyone else has anything they could possibly be doing. This broad actually tries to say that he has to get her when he's still scheduled to work, and things like that. But when SO asks her to drop SD off on her way she flips out. She works less than 10 minutes from our house. She lives 45 mins - 1 hr from our house and actually feels like SO should drive to her house to pick up SD, and then they can both drive back towards our house. WTF? Seriously, who has that kind of unreasonable logic? Then if he were to be late, she would be late to work. Doesn't it make more sense for her to drop SD off on her way? It does to me anyway, but then I do think I'm pretty reasonable and fair.
He is going to press the judge again for more specifics with the Court Order because the vagueness just gives BM room to be a total bitch and make things harder.
I am so over crazy BMs.
Generally we pick her up on
Generally we pick her up on the first night of the visit and her mom picks her up from the last day (because her mom works near us). It says NOTHING at all about who is to do what -- just the time visits are to start and end. SO specifically asked the judge to spell that out and the judge refused, and basically said they need to work it out. Annoying! Hopefully now it will be spelled out.