Quick recap- my SO has primary placement for SS12 and SD9- 67%. 10 days on, 4 days by Crazy, then in summer she gets 9 days, we have 5. This was a GAL's recommondation- in Aug. it will be 2 years since the CO. Also in Aug, Crazy is able to file for a change in custody, and we think she will, given that she filed 3 MONTHS after the CO was put in place last time. The judge let it go to a motion hearing for some reason but quickly dismissed it in court due to her not having a huge change in circumstance, and because you have to wait 2 years to file for a change. Why did he even let it go to court, you ask? GREAT question. 

Last time, The GAL mentioned that SS seemed to be leaning towards being with us more.  He has his own room here, PS4, TV, the works. He has it made really, and at the time Crazy didn't even have an apt. SD wants custody to be split 50/50. That didn't happen at the time because A.) Crazy didn't have a job and wouldn't keep a job. She got hired and quit 2 different jobs within a week during the time the GAL was working with them. B.) She kept moving skids from one place to the next, temporary places, couches, in with random dudes...no stability. The GAL is big on stability. C.) She displayed some seriously crazy behavior, both in front of the GAL and to the GAL- She created a fake FB and posted on the GAL's wall calling her names and saying she was a terrible person. She kept dropping the kids off on our front lawn a day early, unannounced-The GAL had to talk to her multiple times and told her she had to keep them or she wouldn't get custody. She also got busted in numerous lies by the GAL- once she dropped them off early and I didn't open the door for them, then when she wouldn't go away I told her my SO wasn't home and she needed to bring them back later, and she screamed that the GAL had been trying to get ahold of my SO to tell him he needs to take the skids. The GAL said nope, she hadn't talked to Crazy in days and certainly never tried to get ahold of my SO about this. Despite ALL of this, the GAL struggled with her recommendation on placement because she really believes both parents should get equal placement (what?!), but in this case the Crazy was just too strong to justify 50/50.

The topic of custody comes up in convo with my SO every few months, since August is nearing and we are pretty sure Crazy will file for 50/50. My SO has been pretty naive in all of this.  He has been going on about how he really thinks that SS is going to tell the GAL that he wants custody to stay the same, and the GAL will "really listen to SS's opinion and take that into consideration". Hm...  First of all, SS has never indicated he wants custody to stay the same- my SO is just going off what the GAL vaguely referred to almost 2yrs ago. Now Crazy has a decent apt, has no rules for skids, no bedtimes, unlimited junk food, and SS has his own room with a TV and PS4 there too. What kid wouldn't want to be where there is no rules and more junk food? Second, SD is older now- she will be 10 by the time August rolls around, and she is very vocal about wanting placement to be equal. She has even asked me if she will get to talk to the GAL so she can tell her that. I'm not actually sure how much skids opinions play into the recommendation (unless apparently if skids don't want their parents to drink alcohol...), so I would be interested to hear if anyone has insight into that.

We talked about this last night, because apparently my SO was talking to skids about their older half-sister, who is a complete train wreck (Crazy's 21yr old daughter whose dad is in prison)- and how Crazy's family has a history of mental illness. Skids know about Crazy's mom's mental problems. Apparently SS said "Yeah but mom doesn't have any mental issues" ................ *crickets *............. my SO just said, "so anyway", and changed the subject. He didn't bash her. He told me about it later and we were kind of speculating what would happen with custody in Aug, and based on SS's comments, he finally acknowledged that maybe SS wasn't as set on custody staying the same as he thought. We don't know if they just forget all the stuff Crazy does? They have caught her in lies, been a witness to really crazy behavior (like when she busted into the boys locker room while SS and his entire b-ball team and coaches were in there after a game and started screaming and swearing at the coaches and had to be physically pushed out of the locker room), or just choose to ignore it all because that's their mom. Either way, my SO realized that he may not win this battle. But he said he's still planning on paying $1,500 (ugh....we don't have that lying around, and he still owes at least that much from the last custody dispute) for his lawyer and GAL to fight it if she files for 50/50.

Part of me wants custody to stay the same because I know it's healthier for them- we are sane, stable, and really care about their well being. We teach them responsibility, while she calls us lazy for making them do chores, has unlimited soda and junk food and all meals are eaten out, no bedtimes even on school nights, doesn't care what grades they get, doesn't want them to get jobs when they are of age, and completely bashes us at every turn. The selfish part of me is ecstatic about the possibility of having week-on/week-off custody because OMG, every-other week off, all year round???!  *dance4* 

I figure, it will work out the way it's going to work out, although I know this is going to be stressful and I really don't want my SO to waste $1,500 on a losing battle either. I'm just glad he is finally getting his head out of his ass...er, the sand about SS "choosing" us. I think he overestimates SS's influence on this matter, and he has argued about this with me before cause he's just soo sure about it.

I know no one has a crystal ball, but I'm curious if anyone has insight into this- any guesses on if they will keep primary placement with my SO, seeing that since the original CO, Crazy has technically met all the "requirements" the GAL had laid out? i.e. Kept an apt (although SD shares a room with her), kept a job, got them to school on time (most days), takes skids during her assigned time. Or do they really take into account the attempted PAS'ng, the nasty messages she sends, the barging into SS's locker room, etc? I really think skids will tell the GAL they want 50/50, even though they are thriving with the current situation.

Sincerely,

Incapable of writing a short blog