More crazying- update
Yesterday Demon15 and SS18 were supposed to go back to Crazy's, since NYE and NYD are her days. SS can do whatever but he's following Demon's schedule. DH and I took a trip out of state for a few days- we left on NYE. DH talked to both skids and told them to lock up, but that they were going to Crazy's that day.
Around 6pm I told DH that Demon was still at our house. (We have cameras). He text her to see what she was doing- she said Crazy told her she wasn't allowed at her house. SS was already out for NYE. We sent Crazy a message on OFW saying it's her placement period, we are out of state, she needs to take Demon. she wrote back that DH never told her we were out of state (we don't have to, and it's her day to have skids!), and SS told her "he was watching SD this week", and DH never responds to her messages, and since she didnt kmow we were out of state she now has plans, what was she supposed to do?
Um, how about allow your daughter in your house on your days, not expect your 18yr old son to "watch her" and not make Bullsh*t excuses?
So now both skids are at our house when they're not supposed to be while we're on a trip, and I'm irritated.
We have cameras and can check, but it's more that I am just so. Over. The bullshit. I am dreading coming home as it is to have both skids in our house.
- TrueNorth77's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Do you have a custody
Do you have a custody agreement and if so, are any of these games violating it? Would it be worthwhile to take her to court over it?
She shouldn't be allowed to just decide when she will and will not take Demon.
We do
It's very clearly laid out- EOW, and the holidays are also clearly laid out. She refused to take Demon on the 4th (her holiday) and now again. When we last went on a vacay, we offered her right of first refusal, and when DH suggested the trade days, she TOLD DH he would be taking Demon extra days to "make up for the 5 mos she had her". It's constant. Is it worth it to take her to court? Idk. What would a judge do? I'm genuinely curious.
DH doesn't have a lawyer currently and wouldn't get one because of something like this. Last time he filed for contempt the judge did nothing, even with clear evidence.
I would be filing contempt.
I would be filing contempt.
I agree
I doubt DH will agree after the last court debacle where the judge did nothing when we filed for contempt. It's discouraging for sure, but this isn't going to end it's worth giving it a shot.
I'd at least notify your atty
I'd at least notify your atty that she is refusing to take her holidays.
Ugh, this is our issue. DH's
Ugh, this is our issue. DH's attorney retired. To get a new one it's the usual $2,500 retainer or whatever they charge, plus whatever costs. This stuff adds up- It could cost many thousands. DH pays CS and doesn't have that kind of $ lying around. These are the kind of things we would have to keep taking her to court for because it's so frequent and she always comes up with new nonsense. It would cost so much. We would have to try routes with no-attorney (which, not hopeful).
It looks like you'll need to
It looks like you'll need to inconvenience yourself and drive SD back to BMs before you leave.
Sorry your BM is such a loser.
Unfortunately we didn't find
Unfortunately we didn't find this out until we had already left...I knew DH should have just dropped her off there. SS didn't do it. So she's been at our house the whole time, and so has SS (barely, he's always at his gf's).
Or file forBM
To pay CS. Since she is not taking the kids. BM will not want to pay
You might consider consulting with a local lawyer who really
You might consider consulting with a local lawyer who really knows how the judges in your area would rule to see if this is worth taking her to court over. She essentially abandoned her underage daughter and this is not the first time. How many times has she kicked her out of the house? Maybe if you threaten her with a change in custody and child support she would stop doing this so often.
This is at least the 6th time
This is at least the 6th time? I am trying to sit this out and let DH take the lead. He will not pay an attorney since his retired and it costs so much to get a new one. This doesn't bother him as much as it does me. I hate the schedule disruption, extra Demon time, the fact that Crazy is running the show. It drives me nuts. I definitely want nothing to do with extra custody, even if it's a threat. lol. Crazy would probably take us up on it. Even if she lost some custody, her child support would probably not go down, or would barely change. It's ridiculous. CS has been an absolute nightmare to deal with and doing everything they can to make sure she gets the most. But at this point, I can't handle more custody. I've disengaged as much as I can, and I do not want to get into legal fees. I would be all for filing for contempt without a lawyer, just to scare her and see what happens. And I'm not above calling CPS the next time she kicks SD out.
TrueNorth, I feel for you!
TrueNorth, I feel for you! Clearly, threatening BM with a change in custody entails the (even if very slim) chance that you might end up with Demon full time. URG! A fate almost worse than death! Hon, you'll just have to endure and maybe take it out on your DH; after all, he's the one who brought that baggage to your marriage.
I can almost feel your rage as something similar happened to me when DH and I spent a weekend in Montreal. It was BM's week but his kids (then teens) threw a raucous party at Chez grannyd.The only reason that the police were not involved was because we have terrific neighbours, who managed to quiet things down.
To his day, thinking about that incident makes me furious! Crack the wine, Hon, and binge-watch some mindless TV.
So true. Nobody wants to deal
So true. Nobody wants to deal with Demon full time. It's bad enough Truenorth has to deal with her half the time. Perhaps though Crazy won't want to pay child support... idk it is a dilemma! And you can always count on these dysfunctional side show acts to ruin your vacations. Why do these men (mine included) get involved with these bat sh- crazy women?
This is what I think also,
This is what I think also, she may want the CS more, but I'm not sure I want to take that gamble! I may have to pack my things if we got more Demon time. She's actually been mostly fine but I'm too exhausted and beat down by Steplife.
Yes!
Yes yes and more yes! All of this.
Clearly, threatening BM with a change in custody entails the (even if very slim) chance that you might end up with Demon full time. URG! A fate almost worse than death!
I would love to file for contempt of court on her. Or a CPS report. After some wine.
Sadly, the CP is stuck when the NCP gets stupid.
The one advantage in the whol blended family dynamic that the NCP has is that they do not have to take visitation. Ever, if they choose that path. They can forego any or all visitation and the CP has no choice but to provide shelter, care, feeding as the NCP pays them to do per the CO.
I think that the learning with your current experience is that the kids do not get a key, and they go to BM's before you depart on a trip. BM can then face the music when she fails to care for, feed, and shelter the kids. Though it may not be easy to keep the NCP's nose to the grindstone, I would not leave kids in the home without an adult present.
With a long distance visitation schedule we did not have this same situation to deal with. He was either in SpermLand on one of the three visitations per year (5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring) or he was with us. They did refuse visitation a number of times in the 16yrs we lived under the CO, at least three periods of a year or more without taking him per the CO.
No dumping the kid on them or they on us beyond the visitation refusal. When that would happen, life went on for DW, me and SS normally.