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Step Up's Blog

...listening skills

Step Up's picture

Lord sometimes I think I'm taking crazy pills.

I think that I make my questions and points pretty clear. I'm usually well worded and thought out, but for some reason that seems to confuse people lately, especially if I don't dumb it down and just ask YES or NO questions. But damn, I ask a question both DH or SD17, even the SS18, and they literally are lost if it's more than one sentence.

"We may be going out of town this weekend. Are you with your BM this weekend?"

The answer I get back: "I work."

::smacking head into monitor::

...definition of insanity

Step Up's picture

"the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."

I don't know if I get actual pleasure with the I told you so's, or as I sit back and watch both parents do EXACTLY THE SAME thing everytime SD17 gets in trouble. I overheard DH saying last night to his mother "yeah, SS16 is at her mom's house, she needs to be there right now to get her act together".

...I told you so

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I have wanted to scream this from the mountaintops for years.

Each parent seems to act surprised each time SD17 pulls yet another stunt. This has been going on for 4 years now. Each time, I tell DH, better get it in check, it will only get worse.

Each new instance either is worse, or just as aggravating. I don't know what aggravates me more, her actions, or her parent's lack of action. Both are just as guilty for armchair parenting.

...it's been awhile - not much has changed.

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There are days I wish my husband wasn't able to read my posts on Facebook, so that I could truly vent about my SD17 to my friends. At least I still have here.

I haven't posted since September of last year. Some things have improved, other things are still the same, but I have done all that I can to distance myself so that I don't stress myself out.

However, I noticed that when I posted last, I was discussing my SD16's push to drive.

...convenient and conditional parenting

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So the BM goes from crazy mode in riding SS17 about homework and chores, to complete indifference and neglect.

Both skids needed to use her computer last night in order to print out their reports and do research. Apparently this wasn't convenient for her (more than likely the kids put it off and she was being an ass about not helping them). The skids contacted DH to ask if he could pick them up at the library today because they needed to finish their projects. BM then locked herself in her room from 7pm on last night. I truly think she is bi-polar.

...parenting in crisis mode and other ramblings

Step Up's picture

I'm really starting to despise when both BM and DH tend to parent only during crises.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that they still have their influence as parents, but don't seem to EVER do the day-to-day following up in order to ensure that their children are on the right track. Rather, they wait until things are so bad that it's near impossible to help guide them in the right direction.

...definition of insanity

Step Up's picture

Is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.

Sadly, same can be said for me. I complain about the way DH and BM handle issues with their children, and I blow up, but I never really do anything about it.

I write earlier in the week about SD16 lying about her whereabouts, and how I had to take off work and try to find out where she was at. Since then, STILL nothing has been done or any punishment given - not once have they discussed with her anything about her actions, that lying is wrong, etc. Just sweep it under the rug.

...I'm not allowed to react

Step Up's picture

DH asks me yesterday - can you take off work 1/2 hour early to pick up SD16, she had detention. (BM is on-call for work, and DH is on disability and unable to climb stairs.) I agree.

Text SD16 - where are you?

HER: School 10.

Didn't dawn on me that this is entirely in the OPPOSITE direction of her high school, it's an elementary school kids hang out at.

ME: Meet me at Exxon (near our house, as she was told earlier to start walking).

HER: Can you meet me 1/2 way?

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