...I'm so happy that the school year has started. Thankfully this time our summer went relatively drama-free, compared to summers past.

Sure, all teenagers are selfish. This one learned it straight from the demon BM. This selfishness personally goes beyond a normal teen mood swing.

BM tried to start with the give-me money now tirade a month & 1/2 before school was to start. BM/DH have an agreement that they are both to provide $250 each towards school clothing for both kids. Although he put his foot down and said "unless the kids are hurt, I will not accept any calls from you", she then continued with her mind-f**k of SD16 and got SD16 involved in asking him for the school clothes money. Nice.

Both kids are of age to get their driver's permits, although our state at the age of 16 requires that you have 6 hours of private instruction in order to take your road test to get your license. At 17, you wait 6 months after your permit, drive with a parent, and take the road test. SS17 was in no hurry when he was 16 to get his permit because he knew it would cost money. He waited until 17. SD16, doesn't care. I want private instruction. No one says - earn it then. Granted, she finally gets a part-time job, but that's to fund whatever extras she wants.

A few weekends ago, SD16 dictates to DH that she doesn't want to hear his excuses, that both her parents said she would get the private instruction. DH just says - it's on your mom, I won't pay for it, I pay enough weekly as well as pay over and above for the things she wants to do (movies, shopping, etc.). Disrespectful little thing decides she will silent treatment him and pout and do whatever. She doesn't get what she wants, but no one EVER addresses the behavior. DH and I have tension because I say point blank - it's not ok and I won't kiss her ass or be nice to her even if it doesn't have to do directly with me.

SD16 texts DH on Sunday asking for money for school clothes again. He says, I've already given you and your brother money and right now I can only give $50 - and remember I just bought you guys school shoes last weekend, and you're asking for money every week just about. Go to drop it off, and he asks her: why is it you respond to me when it comes to money but when I text or call to see how you're doing you have no time for me? She responds "I'm busy".

It took everything in my being to want to crawl through the window at her.

My husband suffers from a debilitating disease, and recovery from a back surgery. SS17 ALWAYS helps and makes sure he's ok. SD16 NEVER asks, hey, dad... how are you today? Never helps around the house, trashes her room, offers nothing. She literally will ask for money while he's writhing in pain. Help me, give me, do for me...

Of course she calls asking for a ride home from work tonight, because her mom is too busy to help out, which is fine. Sadly, I say things as it is to DH and piss him off in the meantime. I said of course she called you - she needs something... otherwise you'd never hear from her. I say, I get that it's hard when she gives you attitude and the silent treatment because all you want is her love so you put up with more as a result... and get trampled over in the process because of your generosity and how you overlook EVERYTHING. He's in pain again today and wore out... but is sooo happy she asked him.

We struggle weekly to make sure our bills are covered. BM shops weekly, is buying new furniture, you name it. I look at the cheap WalMart shoes I bought knowing I can't really splurge on new shoes anytime soon. SD16 gets $80 boots, $100 sneakers, probably about every 4 months. I haven't had a nice pair of shoes in 4 years. Jealous? Yeah, a little. I know I signed up for some of this. I could handle it better if I knew she was more appreciative of what she has. Rare to hear a thank you.

Before this latest conversation, he literally rationalized all of it with "I only have to truly deal with this for 2 more years, she's a junior now, so...".

This is one of the strongest men I know - the type that speaks up when others are unfairly treated, speaks up for fairness, for rules, etc. But when the DH and SD16 is involved...sometimes I see him just lay down and take it for the sake of his children.

I don't have children so I have absolutely no idea what makes one flip the switch like this. I think I couldn't allow my own children to treat me this way, and they would have to alter their behaviors. They literally would get nothing but what they needed to survive until they learned to appreciate and respect that things are not just handed to them. This family (BM/DH) is mostly about avoiding consequences, not having to work hard for things (i.e. you OWE me), and never discussing emotion.

But I'm the bad guy for pointing it out, when if others in my life were treating me poorly my DH would be the first to say something.

I'd act this way to him to see what happens, and then if he calls me out on it say - well, it works for others, why can't it work for me? Then would be told I'm being immature and she's just a poor-wittle-teenager... bullsh*t. She's learned some manipulative ways. You see it in her friendships and her attitude. Even his family takes note and wants to say something but feel it's not in their place. But then again, some of their family is the true co-dependent enabling types that justify people's behavior rather than saying change your attitude, or face the consequences (and follow through with it).

I just vent... knowing nothing will change. I speak up, nothing changes, I bottle it in, nothing changes. Sigh.