Resentful of dh
I have always found dh baggage a lot to handle. Two skids by two different women. Quick recap: dh does not see sd7 because her Bm is toxic and moved countries. He does however send extra money every month with cs out of guilt. This has always annoyed me as bm2 stopped dh from seeing his dd. And as I've said before unmarried fathers have little rights here. Anyway we have ss13 every weekend. Overall he is a good child. More so now that he is growing up he is becoming less babyish and therefore easier to be around( this is the child who still held dh hand in public aged 12).
I just feel my own ds (3 months) gets a raw deal sometimes. Dh does buy him things and has bought him a travel cot for Christmas. I bought him a few bits and a stocking full of stuff from eBay for about 10e in total (all tat from China). Dh insisted that ss have a stocking too and has filled it with selfie sticks, vouchers and toiletries. Of course there was no mention of him buying anything for ds stocking. He just keeps saying how ds doesn't know about Christmas. I know he is only 3 months old but I bought toys that will do him for when he is 6 months plus. So ss13 gets an iPhone 6 and ds gets a travel cot!!! This is also same ss who has bought nothing for dh at all so I have to add him to ds present to dh despite the fact he gets lots of pocket money. He could have bought dh a mug he would have been thrilled with it.
Also dh has a standing order set up for ss. I have set one up for ds. Dh has said he will deposit some money monthly for ds but he is three months old already and nothing. Of course ss has been getting it and bm2 getting her extra money every month. I am getting so fucking resentful and angry I can barely look at my dh in the face and am always in a bad mood at the moment. It's just so fucking hard. Wouldn't change my ds I love him and he was so badly wanted but I wish I would have thought twice of having a baby with a man with such baggage. Especially when we live from cheque to cheque and I really feel those two other children benefit far more than my ds.
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Comments
Yes I think he should have
Yes I think he should have bought something for ds stocking. I only spent a tenner so I wouldn't be asking for much, a few bibs perhaps would have been thoughtful. And well I think ss or bm extra money should be cut so that ds also gets something from him. Why should ss and bm2 get the extra money and ds gets nothing? Maybe half of ss money gets put into an account for ds. Why should he have no savings from dh. I buy all of ds formula and nappies and also try to put a little money aside for him each month. Nothing too much but better than nothing.
If your husband is paying (or
If your husband is paying (or helping to pay)the mortgage, utilities, food, health insurance...then he is spending money on your son. The man has 3 kids in 3 different households to help support.
I actually bought ss a few
I actually bought ss a few bits and pieces putt of my own money a while back when I was buying for ds. This was before my dh got him an IPHONE 6!!!!!
I actually bought ss a few
I actually bought ss a few bits and pieces putt of my own money a while back when I was buying for ds. This was before my dh got him an IPHONE 6!!!!! Also my dh borrowed from my savings I had put aside to try and stay home for a month or two with ds before going back to work and gave it back to me minus 200e!! He has since borrowed again and hasn't given it back but can afford to buy ss who is 13 years old an iPhone and give bm2 extra money even though she is a witch. I will seriously consider leaving him if he does not pay me back in three months time and I have to go back to work early although I think he knows this and has promised he will have it when it is needed in March which is fine if he does.
You have to talk about this
You have to talk about this openly with your DH. Plan what you are going to say very carefully so that he does not take offense. Those are his kids and he is likely to become defensive about it so you have to word your statements carefully. Focus on what your DS is NOT getting as opposed to what your SS is getting. Otherwise he will take it as you being jealous of his kid or something.
How much above the ordered CS
How much above the ordered CS amount is he giving BM2? And why is he sending it ?
When I stopped covering for
When I stopped covering for the skids failing to get DH anything they had one very awkward Christmas, and then they finally stepped to the plate and started understanding that Christmas is not hosted for their benefit alone!