I have always had an ok relationship with bm1 in that we limit contact with each other but when we are in each other's presence we are respectful and polite. But since we have had our babies (4 days apart - my first with dh and her second with her current partner) she has ramped up the crazy but the only person it affects is my ss13.

However this woman has now begun trying to undermine my dh in relation to ss13 but as the title suggests this only hurts my ss13 because myself and my dh genuinely do not care enough about bm1 for her to affect us. Herself and my dh have not been together in 12 years and due to ss13 age barely need to contact each other.
The following are examples of what she has done over the past 12 weeks....

My dh has always dropped off and collected ss13 every weekend since he was a baby. Bm1 has never needed to do any of he above.
He is always dropped home on the Sunday after dinner time between a certain time. This has never been an issue and he has never been dropped back either before or after this time without good reason and is always fed! Anyway we went to drop ss home the other week and bm1 actually drove past is in her car with her current partner and would not answer the phone when ss tried to ring her (from his own phone) to find out where she was. We figured that she would have gone to her mothers house (although why she could not text ss and ask for him to be dropped off there I'll never known as this is his home time usually). On another occasion the same thing happened and she made a big deal about ss having to be dropped down to her house (despite us already being there when she wasn't because she has a small baby - hello we both have small babies who were born the exact week - only difference is mine is an hour away from
Home should he get hungry - your house is about 10 mins drive from your mothers - why you could not go up and collect him there when you weren't at home at drop off time I will never know. We would never put ss13 in the middle so we just do it - not for bm1 but for Ss. Ss is a very bright kid. The only person this hurts Is him.

Ss has also recently started our equivalent of high school and now has homework at weekends. He spends the weekends with us so dh requested he bring his homework with him so that it can be done. Bm1 actually forbid this as ss13 "might leave a book there" so he is having to rush all of his homework on a Sunday night. Again only sabotaging your son bm

And again what happened this morning. Ss13 is obviously starting to go through puberty and has lots of spots.
Dh bought him some face wash and was promoting its use along with more showers as ss never showered!! Dh has been discussing importance of hygiene now that he is a teenager. Anyway he had a break out this morning and I just casually ask is he using his face wash? He informs me bm took this off him because it is not "for little boys". Now id say something if dh asked bm to buy it but she has never bought him any sanitary products (my dh buys him his deodorant etc). I am so pissed off with this woman - she is the one who text my husband the month our baby was due with a list of things needed for ss as she obviously planned on using her cs for her new baby that month. I actually laughed when that happened and ss got only some of the things off her ridiculous list which actually requested 5 pairs of pants!!! Any ways sorry for the rant but I just needed to vent and i try not to discuss either bm with my husband.