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I need to forgive but how?

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I don't know when it started, probably not to long after I first met H, but I have been holding a grudge with him. I have not been able to forgive him for having SD2. How horrible is that? Being mad at a man for having a child before he met me. Maybe if H and BM actually loved each other I wouldn't feel this way but since he had a child with the most psychotic, white trash woman on the planet I can't help but to be mad. I can't help but to wish I met him sooner.

Is it possible to love SD like my own?

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I have always felt that I had a strong connection with SD2 until lately. Now that things are more serious and I am about to be a full fledged step mom I am beginning to notice all the annoying qualities SD2 has. She still throws fits all the time, I would say about one to two an hour. She won't look at you when you are discipline her. She won't do what she is told and she manipulates everyone around her to make sure that she does what she wants. Others call it cute and funny, I think it is annoying and frustrating.

BM is crazy and I can't stand it!

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So BM recently was texting BF and told him that he screwed up his chance to live his dream life with her. Yes he ruined his chance to get the opportunity to spend his life with a woman neither he nor family can stand. He ruined a relationship that was doomed for the beginning since they couldn't go a minute without fighting. He ruined a chance to be with someone he never really loved. He ruined a chance to be with a woman he accidentally got pregnant and had to question if the child was his. Yep he ruined his own fairy tale.

CSP inspection went great!

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The CSP lady was mainly asking us questions about BM since she was the one who had the report called on her. She wasn't inspecting us but instead saw the fact that we are the better house hold for SD. She even went as far as to give us advice. The reason she liked us so much is because she was easily able to see passed BM's bull. It is a funny story too because BM totally put on an act of caring so much and that the situation BF described was wrong, but of course her own stupidity got the best of her. She contradicted her own story.

Need Advice Fast

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So CPS went to BM's house today and BM put on a total act. BM acted like a completely different mom. It was aggravating. And they set up an appointment for BF and I tomorrow morning. So to the advice part, I want to know if anyone has any pointers on what to do. Should we expose BM's lies if they ask? Will they ask? What are they looking for? Will their inspection come up in court? Is it likely that they saw through BM's lies? Oh and just in case you were wondering all this CPS stuff came about because BM left SD2 in an apartment alone (what a great mom).

BM says I need to grow up-- long overdue vent

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I was very lucky to discover this site very early into my relationship with BF so right from the start I made sure not to get in the middle of BF and BM. Now a year later I have not even had a conversation with the woman. I have found no reason to talk to her. Whatever she needs to talk about should be about SD and that is none of my business it is BF's therefore I find no reason to talk to her. Apparently this is driving her crazy. She has gone to many extremes to try and talk to me including asking my sister for my number and telling BF that I need to grow up and talk to her.

SD is driving me crazy

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My SD2 is whining so much lately. She has started this really cute thing lately where she manipulates people. She will cry for her mom whenever she is with me and whenever she is with her mom she screams for me. She even reduced her BM to tears the other day doing this. Then she won't sleep to save her life. Her being tired is the main reason she is such a brat lately. I just can't handle it and it is even creating a rift between me and the BF because god forbid his little angle be punished for her actions. He just spoils her too much even when she is bad it annoys me.

Very Concerned-- Need advice

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My fiance and I have always planned to move away from the town we live in now. Plan is that in 16 months we will move at least 3 hours away. I am moving to go back and finish grad school. Anyways I have always thought that SD2 would be much better off coming with us. Even BM acknowledges we can provide SD with a better more stable life, but I am beginning to wonder if SD is too connected to BM to leave. Has anyone else been in a position like this? We want to take her but don't want to scare her for life. And BM has already agreed to let us take her.

What is the age for pre school?

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Ok so SD just turned two but people ar already asking us what pre school she is going to go to. Am I the only one shocked at this? I thought pre school was for four year olds. When did it become a race to get children in school? I just want to know so that we can prepare. We were going to wait at least another year or two and put her in pre school then but is that too late? It feels like we are suppose to throw her into school just because she is potty trained.

Asking for advise

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Okay so I'm following up on some really great advice and BM is no longer going to be allowed in my house. However I was wondering what was the best way to go about this? Should we meet at a neutral location or just outside the house. I was thinking maybe having SD play outside when BM is on her way over so it doesn't really look like we are forbidding her from being inside. I really don't want to tell her that but would it be best she knows?

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