I'm tired of it all today. For those of you who keep up with my story, SO changed his schedule so that he is not home M-W until 1am. Essentially, skids don't see him all day on those days. SS16 goes to a boxing gym and he was taking SS10 with him, but SO asked me if SS10 could stay with me now that the weather is getting cold.

I want to help him. I really do. But we don't see eye to eye on what parenting should look like. The ACS case is now done and over with. SS10 still doesn't do what he should, at least once weekly a teacher is calling SO to tell him skid is staying in detention or he did something in class or something. SO needs to consistently punish skid. He doesn't. Not even so much as consistently punish, but if he were more involved in making sure his homework was done (check it when he gets in at 1am), then maybe there wouldn't even have to be discipline.

His reasons are just that he doesn't have enough time, or even better, he was telling me a story the other day of a guy he knows who did horribly in school and is now successful. I told him those are the exceptions.

The truth is, I don't really care personally whether or not the kids pass/fail, because I don't see it as my success or failure. They have 2 parents who choose how to deal with them. The issue is that I want to be a better support to SO, but I feel like he doesn't take on the role he should. And after everything crazy BM has done, the boys have been keeping in contact with her behind our back, which to be honest, I expected. But it still makes me feel a certain way about everything. Why should I try so hard if their parents aren't? Why aren't they more wrong than I am for not helping them? Not saying they think this way, but I don't want to spend time on people who will always think whatever I do is second best to this person who doesn't even really want to be responsible for them, but gave birth to them?

He told me the other day he doesn't want to alienate the boys. I was just reading through someone's blog today and it hit me. The reason I care is because if the skids continue to fail (SS16 got left back again, gets out of school early but yet finds time for boxing and SO doesn't see anything wrong with this picture), that means they will have that "failure to launch".

SS16 is in 9th grade. He wants to be a professional boxer. I don't think he's going to get rich and famous because honestly, I don't think he's that good, but both he and SO believe it's a possibility. I keep telling SO to have him focus more on school, on graduating, on looking into colleges. He says he will, but he also encourages SS16 to continue boxing.

As for SS10, he continues to have issues with authority and his behavior. SO never got him evaluated, he's dragging his feet. I'm afraid this kid is going to end up doing something to ruin his life, all because he doesn't know when not to talk back or when not to mouth off to adults, or when not to be the class clown, or just when to listen. He is a bright child, but he refuses to learn. All he wants to do is avoid work at all costs, and SO's schedule is not helping. I try to help on my days off when I can, but I also don't have a consistent schedule.

And when I think of BM sitting on her ass, not even cooking or giving these kids a sandwich at the very least, I get so annoyed that she doesn't deal with any of this. I hate this whole situation sometimes.