My only thought is could you sit your dad, your DH, and you as far away from the 2 daughters as possible? Like the total other end of the table or at the kids table? 

My stepkids are weird but they aren't rude per se. I have other rude family members. I hate holidays for that reason 

If they are covertly rude, just ignore and pretend they are not even in the room, if they are openly rude stare them down and ask them nicely “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that, can you repeat yourself?”  Then turn to DH and ask him to handle this “issue”.  Steering clear of them shouldn’t be too hard because they will probably either avoid everybody or be vacu-sucked up DH’s a$$ all night.  Good luck I hated holidays when Spawn lived with us, it was her perpetually ignoring everybody and clinging to DH like a burr.

I'm not sure what your relationship with his sister and her kids is like, but it sounds as though there will be enough people there that you can avoid contact with the skids all together.  Definitely pre-plan the seating at the dinner table.

I would also give DH notice that you will not be tolerating crappy behavior from his DDs and it's on HIM to deal with it.  If they say something crappy to you, glare at DH noticeably, so that the SDs can see you doing that.  Then they will know that you've had conversation with him regarding their rudeness.  It's basically like calling them out on it in front of everyone!  The only ones who will look bad, will be them.

...but keep your flask handy, just in case.
Happy Holidays....  Yuck!

Unless it would be completely futile, I'd have a chat with DH ahead of time and let him know if there is any rude behavior directed at you or anyone else, that he needs to handle it immediately.  If he's willing, set up a covert signal to alert him when he inevitably doesn't notice his spawns' bad behavior. Beyond that,  I would refuse to attend the 2nd holiday event with them if they're rude to you at the first one. 

Nothing like approaching holidays and skids to cause stress way before it even happens. Cause you know, youve BTDT and bought the T Shirt .

Get your DH on board to deal with the skids . If he doesnt let him know that you will lash out like a fiery sun and theres no stopping you. 

Either that or whiskey away hun.

Hope it goes smooth.

Blessings

Hold up here, my dear!

What's with those two little bitches planning to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas (I'm assuming) at Chez Shieldmaiden after their shocking and unacceptable performances on 30th October? As far as I'm concerned, they can spend those events with their mother and her partner (that they seem to like so much). Damn! 

There is no way on this God's green earth that I would subject my beloved Dad to the pouty, destructive nonsense that your stepdaughters are determined to proliferate. 

You could always ask how they like their new cell phone plan ...

Obviously I favor the one bourbon, one scotch, one beer approach.

You shouldn't have to defend yourself, it's your house.  Silence is always an acceptable response, as well as stfu and gtfo.

Super good advice above!  While I've not had the SDs during the holidays WITH family before, it's always just been DH, I and the SDs (not ever on Thanksgiving, but every Xmas as that's what BM wanted in the CO).  I do nothing really. It's all on DH since it's just us.

Now, for other family visiting, which we've done both at home, and visited other family ourselves - it's akin to being hyper-aware and over-vigilant and unpleasant all the time. I made it clear to DH that if it involves my family I will not tolerate rudeness or whining or other bad behaviors and I will address it quickly and directly. Which I have done, shut it down fast with no room for argument. If it's DH's family it's all on him. I don't get involved unless something is directed at me. His family is aware of the issues. My family is not, but for my niece and my sister.  You have to be strong and firm.

Make it clear to DH that if they are rude to ANYONE or out of line that they will be asked to leave the room immediately. Do not tolerate any attidue during the holiday gathering. It's meant to be a happy time not everyone on edge due to the teens.

Go around the table and make everyone share what they're thankful for lmao I'll bet you could have some fun with those brats!

Oh man, this brings back bad memories of when SDiablas were teens. BM who they swear undying loyalty too could never be bothered to care for her own daughters on the holidays so they got shoved to us whether they wanted to be here or not for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The rudeness - over the top! DH attempted to get the diabla out of them, with reason, but the brattiness is strong with those 2. Everything from temper tantrums, dramatic pity parties to pinching and hitting each other.

This year DH is sad that they plan to go to BM's new state of residence for T-giving and will probably skip Xmas with us too. Boo hoo. I meanwhile am thanking the heaven's above. They are bad for my heart health.

Last year YSD came to Thanksgiving at SIL's with some wilty leftover flowers from BM. So obnoxious that BM has to interject herself even tho she is clearly NOT invited anymore.

DH says SD's will probably come the day after x-mas for a visit. They want him to take them to visit some family member's. I have the feeling DH will want me to go. Already scratching out a list of reasons why they should just go and have some 1 on 1 time with Daddeeee that they are always crying for. (Even tho that is pretty much all they ever have because I have been disengaged for years now.) Also better to let extended family experience the SD's grace in all their glory without me there for them to blame their sulky attitude on.

My strategy with rudeness is that I stay civil but do not engage with conflict and drama. I also have a glass of wine and maybe a puff on the old "peace pipe" shortly before their arrival.

immediately.

"You will not be rude to me or to my guests. Leave now."

Do not discuss it, do not let them remain in your presence in your home. There should be no need to  explain to semi adults how to behave.  Do not let DH say a word or he can leave with them.

No need to make a scene calling them out. Be mature and tolerate no shit from your DH's children.

Rudeness in front of my parents, they sound like disgusting ppl.

Not that I would have that situation now as they've passed on bless then, but we once all went out with my parents , twin brother, his 2 vile stepdaughter and their boyfriends.

My mum and dad insisted On paying,  and cheerfully asked the skids about their life throughout the meal. The boyfriends In fairness, smiled and answered,  probably out of sheer embarrassment at how the girls pure blanked my parents or looked through them.

At one point the girls cleared off to the bar and stood whispering and giggling. So I took my chance. Went up there and said alright ladies? Are you going to buck your ideas up with regard to your behaviour or are we going to have a serious problem when they leave? ...dead eye.

They got the message