Has anyone read the book "Baby Teeth" and recognized the dumb daddy dynamic?
I recently read the book "Baby Teeth" by Zoe Stage, about a 7 year old girl that is a sociopath and tries to kill her mother several times. The father in the story totally fits the "oblivious disney dad" role. I kept having flashbacks to my own experience as a stepmom to three SD's who were being alienated from us by their Bm and turned suddenly cold towards us.
I was curious if any other stepmoms have read this, or other books that reminded them of what they went through. There is also a follow up book called "Dear Hanna" about the sociopathic daughter after she grows up and becomes......wait for it.... a stepmom. I love the irony of how she chose a man exactly like her dingbat father, and how she starts to see his flaws when she has to fill the stepmom role. (Her boyfriend has a daughter who is 16 that he dotes on.)
I'd love any book suggestions that have relevance toward stepmoms, and what they endure.
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Scary shit.
Scary shit.
Alternate psychology is fascinating
Alternate psychology is fascinating to me since my mom had multiple personalities (DID) and my oldest SD has low empathy. I always wondered what purpose sociopaths have in society. Were these people considered awesome warriors during medieval times or were people just as terrified of them back then?
IMHO, they are nothing more
IMHO, they are nothing more than bullies. Their psychotic bullshit may make them a bully but the proverbial ass kicking makes them melt into the snivvling puddle of cowardice that they are at their core.
They may move on to new victims when they get smacked, but they know that the one who stands up to them and brings the pain knows them for what they are and the bully stays away from them and anyone else that that person engages within their sphere of no bully bullshit.
The bullies I have faced periodically in my life stay away. When we do come into the presence of each other, the sleezy bonhomie starts from them. I make it clear that they are still a coward and need to keep their bully bullshit in check. The most confusing thing to me is how so many who know what the bullies are tolerate them and even seem to gravitate to their bullshit.
If I were a thief, a bully, or a menace it is my parents who would make sure I was neutralized. My DW does this with her sister but cannot bring herself to write her off completely. I would have flushed her long ago.
I suppose it is fairly easy for me to formulate a path forward since toxicity is not a huge part of my life experience except from specifically contained sources.
I am sorry that your life has included this stuff.
Mentally unstable BP will pass on there
Mental illness to there kids. What means if you have a crazy BM. SK most likely will be cr any too. It's just takes tine until SK understands they can get away with it. when they cry abuse , what happens to them. Nothing. Seeing a therapist.. Who goes down that dark road with them.
'So be careful when going into new relationships. Most likely it's not going to be all roses
They sure do pass that
They sure do pass that generational baggage down ... too clueless or lazy to do anything about it.
My former skids weren't sociopaths but they were demanding, lazy, entitled, selfish, noisy peace-disturbing, relationship-destroying, money pit liabilities who contributed nothing to our household .... not too far off from the nut job breeder who did the bare minimum to raise them after school during weekdays
***I did however think this type of unchecked entitlement was breeding narcissists-in-training which made me feel less inclined to want to spend any significant amount of resources on them
On the multigenerational
On the multigenerational passdown of toxicity/crazy. I recently watched a movie that demonstrates this very interestingly.
Blue Ruin.
The premise is a vagrant man in his early 30s who sees that the murderer of his parents has been released from prison. He goes after the murderer.
The murderer's family is the poster clan of the never ending crazy generation after generation. It has a great twist at the end.
The movie is an interesting story, low budget, and disturbing on several levels.
Another movie by the same director/writer is Rebel Ridge. Though not related to the other movie regarding characters or story line, it does have an element of redemption for people who choose not to perpetrate the crazy and make something of themselves.
Reading it now after this
Reading it now after this post. God I wanna smack the father. He actually turns my stomach. I hope the wife grows a spine by the end of the book and leaves them both.
ETA: Ok upon further reading, the mom is driving me nuts in this book too...
Yes, the mom is annoying too, and the dad doesn't listen to her
Yes, the mom in the book is annoying too, and the dad doesn't listen to her. The sequel shows me that family dynamics tend to follow down throught the generations. Interesting, but although I can identify with the mom in some ways ( not being listened to, being put second after the child) I don't really like her as a person. She seems superficial and vain.
The psycho child reminds me of my oldest SD though, and gave me flashbacks.