I did throw ss toaster away. I couldn't figure out why i always got gastro when at home. Why there was mould in a section of kitchen cupboard. Then i see in toaster its full of green mould and ss18 never emptied the crumbs etc.

it was chucked out 6 months ago and whilst daddy is at work he non stop open and closed every cupboard door looking for it as he pretends i don't exist. He does this 3-4 times. Daddy comes home and he does the same thing, then asks daddy when daddy doesn't know where everything is kept because its my kitchen and me who organised it. Hubby asks me and relays back to ss. Ss was angry but he is mistaken if i would keep toaster in our home 

I got tired of YSD only eating the MOST expensive maple syrup on the shelf (bought once for her birthday and would refuse all else thereafter). So when the next bottle was emptied, I refilled it with cheaper syrup. She never figured it out.

Same tactic with OSDs preferred expensive shampoo. It ran low I refilled it with aore moderately priced version. Never figured that out.

(Note now I do not buy these things, it's on DH)

Things left in shared living area for over 24 hrs or when they went back to BMs? Trash or donation. More expensive items I just put away to see if they ever missed them. Only once did they magically appear again.

Lunch bag left for the Nth time in front of the fireplace rather than brought into the kitchen (have to walk by said fireplace to get there)? Thrown down front stairs after multiple warnings.

Trash can from bedroom emptied for you, again, and an attitude given when asked to return it to your room? And when can left in front of your door it's stepped around several times rather than put it back? Can gets thrown down the sidewalk. Guess you don't need it at all.

....just some memories.

Stepdaughter, at thirteen years of age, was a classic mini-wife, draping herself over her father the instant he sat down, despite the fact that he (and his mother) had become increasingly uncomfortable with her behaviour. The man could not sit anywhere without mini-wife plopping on his lap and wriggling around.

Finally, after a particularly flagrant performance by the wee tart, I handed my husband five dollars and suggested that he tuck it into his daughter’s shorts for the ‘lap dance’. He was horrified but finally began to accept the teenybopper invasions for exactly what they were. From that day forward, he gently removed himself from his daughter’s advances, advising her that she was too old for ‘lap-landing’.

Both my beloved mother-in-law (she was the best!) and I were much relieved to have put a stop to the awkwardness. 

I used to have a closet full of items left sititng out for weeks after having been given to SS at our house as gifts or brought to our house on visitation. They always stayed out for at least two visitations with no attempt to save them. So, I put them all in the closet. Still no inquiries about them. In the early days, I used to make sure every skid had whatever they needed when they left, until I got accused of purposely not sending things home with skids (things later found in the mess that is BM's house). Once Skid brought his golf clubs to our home without telling us and put them in the garage without us seeing them. I saw them, because they were sitting near my car, but didn't say "remember to grab your golf clubs" as SS went back to BM's. The next morning, as I'm leaving for work, I see the clubs sitting there. Then - almost simultaneously - DH gets an angry text from BM asking him what he's going to do about the golf clubs since he was too irresponsible to send them home with SS (who was 13 at the time and was only at our home for 48 hours, so should have been able to remember bringing them)?! and MIL texts me in a panic wanting to know my garage code and my alarm code, so she can go to our home and retrieve the golf clubs for SS. I told her that we never set up our garage code, so she couldn't go in (she does not have a key to our home). We didn't set up the garage code, but it does have a default. No way I'm letting MIL go into my house because her teen grandkid couldn't remember a very large item of importance to him. Not my problem. DH left them on our porch the next day for BM to retrieve. 

My mother (step-grandmother to these kids) always sends holiday cards with money. Cards that are always tossed aside without a word. Often the money is left sitting in common spaces. I used to make sure skids had it, but now, if it's left out and they don't take it with them, I take it and spend it on coffee for myself. 

After several times where I asked everyone what needed to be packed and then was ignored as I tried to figure out what needed to be packed for a trip, I announced, "everyone is in charge of bringing whatever they need." We get to our destination and unload the car and I get asked, "where's this?" "where's that?" I say, "I don't know, did you pack it?" Just get stared at. The same thing happened on the way home when one skid left his "favorite shirt" at the family cabin. He was looking through my laundry room when we got home, as if I somehow hid it there on him. The "favorite shirt" was then retrieved by DH and I on a subsequent skid-free weekend. We brought it back to our home and put it in Skids room...it sat there. 

My main coping strategy is I only plan things for skids that are for my benefit or the benefit of my daughter and then if not including them would be rude, I include them. Otherwise, I act like they are hotel guests when they are here. I mostly stay away from them and they mostly stay away from me. It's less than ideal, because who wants their home to turn into a hotel EOWE, but I've accepted that they will never be a part of my family, no matter what I do. BM has alienated them just enough that our home is a place they come to demand things from their dad and be jerks. It is not their home. 

The blended family opposition only ever had one choice. Play nice or suffer.  

One would think that continually elevated abject misery would have been a teaching situation. But no. After sneaking out from under their slime covered rock at the bottom of their shallow and polluted gene pool they would try their usual historic manipulative shit. So we would bring the pain and abject misery. Lather, rinse, repeat.

We had SS-29's back, He was always kept aware of the facts.  In an age appropriate manner. Over the 16+ years we lived under the Custody/Visitation/Support CO he progressively was capable of protecting himself from their bullshit during SpermLand visitation.  It drove them nucking futz to have him call their lies and outline the CO wording, facts of the Spermidiots arrest records, etc, etc, etc.... His mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married the week befor he turned 2yo. He always knew his SpermClan, we never denied visitation, but neither did we ever tolerate bullshit.

Once he launced at 18, they tried to guilt him into paying "CS" to them out of his USAF pay to help raise his three younger also out of wedlock Spermidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas. Nope, he shut them down as he had been for years when they pulled their shit.

When he was 22 he asked me to adopt him. We made that happen.

Though he does occassionally speak with Spermidiot spawn #2, he has little else to do with the SpermClan.

IMHO zero tolerance and going all Saxon Shield Wall on opposition bullshit is the way to go IMHO. It has served me/us well for 27+ years...... Or Dane shield wall. Whichever you prefer.

Good to meet you Shieldmaiden.

Any suggestions for my SD who comes here and refuses to shower/change clothes/clean room/ do her chores (her room literally smells like BO...and is a sty) and does not talk to anyone but her father unless hell basically freezes over?  For now I just shut her door but dang it's gross, and I have moved my blankets when she is here because SHE stinks and will make them smell when she wraps herself in them..ugh