Time to deal with adult SD (sigh)
Well, I've been avoiding the situation with the manipulative b*tch SD(24) for a week now, and it's time to deal wih her. Of course I have to be the "bigger person" here, but honestly, she is the last person I want to engage with right now.
I know she wants drama--thrives on it. I know she's been stirring the pot with the other adults skids and anyone else who will listen, and I just don't care anymore. I also know that no matter what I say about her attempts to meddle in my marriage and throw public verbal punches at me, she'll once again formulate a rationalization as to why her actions are completely justified.
In short, I know that nothing will change (sigh) and she'll continue throwing punches and disrespect toward me and DH because she's a nasty, sick person.
My plan is to keep it short and direct. I'll tell her just what I think of her latest email blitz, and how it only highlights her low character and integrity for all to see. I'll also tell her that because we'll have to see each other at family events, I'll be neutral and decent because it's the right thing to do, but she needs to understand that her actions toward me have eroded any hope for a closer relationship. I have to save my energy for the skids who can maintain their dignity. I refuse to swim at the bottom of the pond with the scum.
I know this sounds rather harsh, but I realize that nothing I say will change her, or change her bully tactics. She'll continue behaving badly. All I can do is let her know what exactly what I think of her actions (no swears!), and how I will treat her going forward.
The conversation will be for ME, because she won't really hear a word I say. Never has. Never will. (sigh)
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Comments
So why
even bother. All it will do is make you more mad. You stated yourself she will not hear anything you say so why not disengage and have nothing to do with her again? I am not sure I understand why you even want to waste your breath on someone who hates you...
wish you luck
Sarah,
I wish you good thoughts and hope it goes as well as it possibly could with this person.You were in no way harsh by the way, constantly being under attack by someone you just wanted to coexist peacefully with is not easy and you are right , she will not change until she has such a large life experience that she finally gets her head out of her own ass and can smell the roses rather then the sh-t she creates! Sorry for being crude but vindictive unhappy little wenches such as these create disfunction that only a sick person could enjoy!
"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard
Why don't you just ignore her
If she talks directly to you, of course be decent and answer, otherwise why don't you just ignore her.
Save your energy and yourself for healthy people. Crazy people just suck you dry. Every minute you spend thinking about them, or every minute you spend trying to reason with them, they have stolen a minute of your life.
If you try to talk to her, she's just going to throw a bucket of crazy on you.
Good luck
Nellie
Been there, done that,
have the t-shirt, the post cards and the mug.
No matter what you say it will go in one ear and out the other. Even if you say it in front of the pope and a chorus of nuns while standing on a stack of bibles, she will find a way to turn everything you say around and twist it til even YOU don't know what you said. (Read my blogs and you will see...)
Talk to her if she deigns to speak to you, but don't waste your breath telling her what you think of her. It will only justify (in her head) her being mean to you. Otherwise, just act as if she doesn't exist. Doing that saved my sanity and in the past few months, SD & I have managed to actually have some civil conversations (and we even..GASP...hugged!)
marika
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