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How would you all handle this?

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Submitted by PrincessFiona on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:33pm

We took the kids school shopping (usually a tramatic experience for me) on saturday. I was exceptionally calm about the whole thing, was able to disengage well and didn't feel too put out by the whole thing as would normally happen. I was proud of myself for not letting it get to me and actually enjoying some time with my kids.

I did have this nagging feeling that SD was only there for the shopping and was ready to go home as soon as we were done spending money but I tried to let it go.

Venting..........

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Submitted by PrincessFiona on Tue, 07/06/2010 - 10:40am

Just need to vent and get this off my chest so I can go on my way to being disengaged, lol.

SD12 was chosen to play all-star softball. To me this is a committment, both for her and her parents. We have given up many peaceful days at home as well as other activities to sit in the hot sun at ball games. They have an awesome team and have won their way through to become district champions. Which is wonderful. So they will practice for the next week and advance to the next level of competition.

Improvements and lessons learned

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Submitted by PrincessFiona on Thu, 07/01/2010 - 8:08am

I have learned so much from this site and it's wise members. I came here when I was complete at my wits end, ready to walk away from my marriage. Just being able to openly vent and talk about my issues has been a life changing thing. To know that other people feel the same is an awesome feeling. I have taken from here some very good advise.

* I will step back and decide if the behavior that is bothering me is typical kid behavior before reacting

* I will take a deep breath and let it all go and not worry about how SD is being raised.

What's your take on this?

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Submitted by PrincessFiona on Mon, 06/28/2010 - 12:33pm

DH's oldest, SD19, has been estranged from him for many years. She is a perfect example of PAS, was alienated by both her mom and her SM. She quit speaking to her father entirely when he and his 2nd wife (her SM, BM2) divorced. I am not her problem as this was already the situation I entered into, just guilty by association. I know here are always two side to every story and somewhere in the middle is the truth but I have yet to hear anything even from her that warrants her feelings toward him.

It's the little stuff that makes me crazy.

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Submitted by PrincessFiona on Mon, 06/21/2010 - 12:56pm

The rolling of the eyes, the subtle turning of a chair so her back is to me, the whispering to her dad, the leaving the room when I come in. These are all the thing I "know" are intentional. Then there are all the other things that I "perceive" to be more of the same. Once you set the tone, then every interaction seems to be tainted.

Father's Day....am I wrong

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Submitted by PrincessFiona on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 9:23am

Am I wrong to think BM has at least a small obligation to encourage and instill respect in her daughter for her father?

In general, I dont' think BM's have an overwelming obligation to make a father's relationship work with kids. THat falls on the father. I do think that any mother and/or father should at all times respect and encourage respect toward the other parent.

How much is too much confience building?

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Submitted by PrincessFiona on Fri, 06/11/2010 - 11:02am

Seriously, SD hears nothing but how great she is from BM, from BM's mom, often from DH.

We attended a sporting event for SD and when the game was over I hear BM telling her "You did great, you were soooo great, I'm so proud of you, you worked really really hard today, don't you let anyone ever tell you anything else". I was like, really??? she played, she played well, she gave appropriate effort but nothing over the top, even a few things that DH offered some constructive critism for.

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