DH's oldest, SD19, has been estranged from him for many years. She is a perfect example of PAS, was alienated by both her mom and her SM. She quit speaking to her father entirely when he and his 2nd wife (her SM, BM2) divorced. I am not her problem as this was already the situation I entered into, just guilty by association. I know here are always two side to every story and somewhere in the middle is the truth but I have yet to hear anything even from her that warrants her feelings toward him.

In the past when DH would initiate contact with her she would talk to him ok, have pleasant/civil phone conversations. Then later she would refuse to see him and finally sent a nasty letter telling him she wanted no more to do with him. My point is her interactions when forced don't seem to back up her actions later on. She has always seemed quit conflicted with her feelings.

Fast forward many years and we run into her out with her exSM whom she still has a close relationship with. She spoke to us as if nothing was wrong, as if no time had passed and we were all on friendly terms.

DH wants to jump back into the back and forth drama of thinking she might come around with her feelings toward him. I don't want him to get his hopes up. I don't want to sit by and watch him rehash all that old hurt.

Anyone with experience with this kind of situation have any thoughts on it? Could she truly have matured enough to be ready to reach out to him? My thoughts lean more toward her having shut down all feelings for him therefore giving her the ability to react to him as nothing more than a passing acquaintance. Do I encourage him to reach out to her a little and see where she is or just leave it be?