Thank you! I laughed out loud when I read very articulate... I had been writing college papers the majority of yesterday. I think my brain was just still in that mode. It did help getting it out. I have lurked here along time and wanted to post. Last night I lost it honestly, I need to get some of this out. Things that happen in this house with these people is just insane. The boys' story is that they have honestly been very spoiled there entire lives. But they havent had a very easy life either. They have been militairy brats the majority of their lives, they have moved more times than I can count. There dad has missed alot. Like alot. Parents got divorced at 6 and 9.  I came into the pictrue very quickly. I think that is where most of the anger toward me comes from. They honestly had very little time between mom and dad separating and me being there at dads. In hindsight, and with age I would not have gone along with this. But I was 20, had no kids and didnt understand fully what I was getting myself into (or them). I am actually taking a vacation in a few day...they will be there. However, I do enjoy them most of the time. It's shitty stressful moments like last night that I just cant deal. Our BM's sound similair however I do believe she does abuse prescription drugs.

Oh I know this is partly a DH problem. This is not my first rodeo in the trash hoarding or the thousands of other problems we have here. The amount of respect the boys have for their father has fallen dramatically. When I first came into the picture these were very well behaved kids. Unfortunatley we have that BM. She not only uses minute emotions but exploits them. She constantly not only undermines both there father and me, but she turns normal punishment into an abuse possibility. Punishments she was perfectly fine with before (according to DH) are now a  huge deal. The boys unfortunately have learned to use this, and they will at the drop of a hat. I honestly believe they take some type of weird and perversive pleasure in it. When the boys consistently refuse to come here for any little thing....I get it. He would rather have them here. I know longer feel this obviously. But I get it. However, I made it clear to my DH that I am done with this. It's hard to really hold him to a high standard though, I grew up without a dad. The fact that he wants to be around them is admirable to me. And it frustrates him just as much. Even though he would never say he punishes/parents them any different because he is scared they will not come over. So yes, my anger is directed at them. They tie his hands and refuse to be treated like a thinking/thoughtful person. They use emotional blackmail to thwart any type of repurcussions for the things they do, and then act admirable that they grace us with their disgusting presence.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

If the boys stink and they are around me I will go tell them to shower. So will there father.However, there seems to be no shame with them. The last time I took the oldest (16) to the dentist he had gingivitis so bad that they set him on a special 3 month cleaning schedule. The dentist asked him if he ever brushed and he shrugged and said sometimes! Ugh, I was so emabarrased she asked why he didnt brush and floss and he said he has no floss! UMMM! I. Obviously, I called him out on it in front of the dentist. Ugh. Anyway, his gums bled for 3 days because they werent used to being stimulated/cleaned by anything except meat, bread and cheese. The dentist warned us that if he did not start brushing, flossing and making these 3 month appointments for treatments he would start losing his teeth by 20 years old. I obviously have refused to  make appointments or take them to any dentist appointments since. Imagine him not being back to the dentist since. 

Anyway, as we are pulling out of the dentist I try to...well embarass him. I said well that was embarrassing. He shrugged. So I said does anybody say your breath stink at school? And he shrugged. So if that wont embarass a teenager, I dont know what will.